MIL took a selfie at a funeral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t think this is that awful. Was it at the church or the reception after? People take pictures at gatherings—it’s not like it was a selfie with the casket….and honestly I tell the “better than the alternative” to my parents every time they complain about getting old. I mean, that’s right, no? Getting old sucks but it’s generally considered better than not getting old. I’m sure they are at the age where all their friends are starting to die—you’ve got to appreciate what you’ve got.

FWIW, I’ve never taken a selfie in my life so it’s not something I would do. But for me this would rate pretty low on the MiL offense list. My MIL offense list includes things like slipping my kids hundreds so they can buy stuff I told them they couldn’t get; yelling at me on my wedding day that I was ignoring her because I hadn’t picked her up from the airport; sending only one child boxes of over the top gifts and bobbing for other child; etc.

You can’t be serious? It’s worse than the examples you are giving.

[Anonymous]

All I can think of is the meme of the guy holding up the peace sign next to a recently buried coffin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t think this is that awful. Was it at the church or the reception after? People take pictures at gatherings—it’s not like it was a selfie with the casket….and honestly I tell the “better than the alternative” to my parents every time they complain about getting old. I mean, that’s right, no? Getting old sucks but it’s generally considered better than not getting old. I’m sure they are at the age where all their friends are starting to die—you’ve got to appreciate what you’ve got.

FWIW, I’ve never taken a selfie in my life so it’s not something I would do. But for me this would rate pretty low on the MiL offense list. My MIL offense list includes things like slipping my kids hundreds so they can buy stuff I told them1 they couldn’t get; yelling at me on my wedding day that I was ignoring her because I hadn’t picked her up from the airport; sending only one child boxes of over the top gifts and bobbing for other child; etc.

+ I agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t think this is that awful. Was it at the church or the reception after? People take pictures at gatherings—it’s not like it was a selfie with the casket….and honestly I tell the “better than the alternative” to my parents every time they complain about getting old. I mean, that’s right, no? Getting old sucks but it’s generally considered better than not getting old. I’m sure they are at the age where all their friends are starting to die—you’ve got to appreciate what you’ve got.

FWIW, I’ve never taken a selfie in my life so it’s not something I would do. But for me this would rate pretty low on the MiL offense list. My MIL offense list includes things like slipping my kids hundreds so they can buy stuff I told them they couldn’t get; yelling at me on my wedding day that I was ignoring her because I hadn’t picked her up from the airport; sending only one child boxes of over the top gifts and bobbing for other child; etc.

NP. Nope, pretty sure using the death of someone’s grandma as an opportunity to be smug and put yourself in the spotlight is worse than all that. Not that that behavior is OK, but OP’s MIL was worse than all that.

[Anonymous]

"Do you have your own funeral plans in a folder somewhere? Maybe you should add some tips on selfies for anyone who attends!"

[Anonymous]

"Wow! What an utterly low-class, disgusting and insensitive comment!"

[Anonymous]

"Better than the alternative" as a general comment is fine. But if you say that about a specific person (grandma) that hey, that woman is dead and I'm alive and happy here... it's awful. Just think about it.

[Anonymous]

If my Nana was here still with us, I’m sure she’d agree
Glad my Nana was able to serve as a reminder
My grandma used to say the same thing
Funerals are a good reminder of that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my Nana was here still with us, I’m sure she’d agree
Glad my Nana was able to serve as a reminder
My grandma used to say the same thing
Funerals are a good reminder of that

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can think of is the meme of the guy holding up the peace sign next to a recently buried coffin.

Maybe op's reply should have this meme in it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my Nana was here still with us, I’m sure she’d agree
Glad my Nana was able to serve as a reminder
My grandma used to say the same thing
Funerals are a good reminder of that

+1

You can be reminded of things and contemplate on the meaning of life without posting a selfie, did you know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my Nana was here still with us, I’m sure she’d agree
Glad my Nana was able to serve as a reminder
My grandma used to say the same thing
Funerals are a good reminder of that

+1

You can be reminded of things and contemplate on the meaning of life without posting a selfie, did you know that?

Dummy, I am
The poster who wrote the Nana comments, you don’t recognize sarcasm when you read it?????

[Anonymous]

I would reply: “My goodness—I just don’t have words for how it felt to receive this.” And then shut off notifications for the thread and ignore it for months and months.

[Anonymous]

This is posted every few months. I had to check the date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an ok relationship with my IL's over the years. I've found my MIL to be self-centered and a little arrogant, but over the years, I've learned to deal with her shenanigans.

My grandmother passed away last week. It wasn't a total surprise as she had been ill for a while, but she got very sick very quickly at the end. IL's decided to come to the funeral, which I appreciated, as it was a two hour drive on a weekday. I didn't really interact with them much at the funeral, but thanked them briefly before they left.

I'm in a group text thread with all of the IL's within our immediate family (MIL, FIL, DH's brothers and their wives) A few days after the funeral, MIL sends a selfie of her and FIL at the funeral to the group with the text "most recent picture of your happy to be aging parents/in-laws! Beats the alternative"

When I saw this text, I felt red with anger. How little tact/social awareness do you have to have to take a selfie at a funeral? And what kind of message is she trying to send with the text itself? DH is mildly annoyed with it, but is kind of shrugging it off as "this is just how she is" and "at least she didn't post it on social media or something." Am I right to be furious over this? Should I say something to her?

Nothing wrong with taking the picture. Totally bad taste to send it out, especially with those remarks.

I disagree. If she was taking a group picture of family who don’t often see each other at a funeral, that’s one thing. To take a selfie of her w her husband who she’s presumably with all the time and could take a photo w when ever she wants, it’s tasteless.