MIL took a selfie at a funeral
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Anonymous
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I've had an ok relationship with my IL's over the years. I've found my MIL to be self-centered and a little arrogant, but over the years, I've learned to deal with her shenanigans.
My grandmother passed away last week. It wasn't a total surprise as she had been ill for a while, but she got very sick very quickly at the end. IL's decided to come to the funeral, which I appreciated, as it was a two hour drive on a weekday. I didn't really interact with them much at the funeral, but thanked them briefly before they left. I'm in a group text thread with all of the IL's within our immediate family (MIL, FIL, DH's brothers and their wives) A few days after the funeral, MIL sends a selfie of her and FIL at the funeral to the group with the text "most recent picture of your happy to be aging parents/in-laws! Beats the alternative" When I saw this text, I felt red with anger. How little tact/social awareness do you have to have to take a selfie at a funeral? And what kind of message is she trying to send with the text itself? DH is mildly annoyed with it, but is kind of shrugging it off as "this is just how she is" and "at least she didn't post it on social media or something." Am I right to be furious over this? Should I say something to her? |
Anonymous
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Wow. That's in incredibly poor taste
(which is exactly how DH should have responded in the group text) |
Anonymous
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I had a hard time at first with pictures at the most recent funeral, but I'm finding it more common since most family only see each other at weddings and funerals.
So we let the flashes fly. |
Anonymous
| It's the caption that did it. That's horrible insensitive. |
Anonymous
| WOWEEE. Omg. Well I don’t think there’s even anything to do other than commiserating with friends (strangers in this case) because that’s so obviously off the wall insensitive. I think it earns you a get-out-of-jail-free card to skip the next in law gathering and take yourself out to a nice dinner or spa day. |
Anonymous
| reply: "I guess that's a matter of opinion, because YOU'RE DEAD TO ME, MARIS!" |
Anonymous
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That's unacceptable.
I would reply to the group email and say you are disappointed that she posted a photo of herself at your Grandmother's funeral, referencing her death as "the alternative", and pointedly writing that she and FIL were "happy". You really need to make your voice heard on this one. What she did is indefensible. |
Anonymous
| The selfie isn't the worst part, it's the text. Your DH needs to address how insensitive that was. He can do it however he wants, but he can't shrug that off with a "that's just how they are". That's not cool at all. |
Anonymous
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I don't know what I expected when I opened a MIL complaint thread, but it wasn't that. You win. That's really awful.
Did anyone respond? |
Anonymous
Me again. And it needs to come from you, not your husband, because it's YOUR grandmother and you have the right to protect the sanctity of her funeral. |
Anonymous
| I don’t think taking a picture at a funeral is in poor taste. What she texted is the issue. Stick with what’s a clear boundary issue. |
Anonymous
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I'd reply a simple "Wow."
If ever there's a good occasion to use that one word reply, this is it. |
Anonymous
OP here. No one responded. I know OPs brothers and spouses feel similar about MIL, so I think their approach when she does something like this is to ignore her. |
Anonymous
This is what my husband does too and it drives me insane. |
Anonymous
| I'd respond with: wow. What an awful thing to say. |