Locker Room Teasing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I’m curious - for the people who are saying “don’t retort, they’ll know his mommy supplied the comeback” and “don’t go to the teacher/principal because that makes him a tattler” and “just give him boxer briefs” as if the kids won’t notice he switched underwear and feel triumphant and wonder what else they can “make” him do - what DO you suggest? Because these all seem an awful lot like silencing tactics to reinforce the victim’s place as a victim.

It’s middle school. If you recall middle school, it’s the height of conformity.

Your choice of the term victim is telling. I wouldn’t communicate that thought to the kid.

What does DS want to do? Doesn’t that matter? Just let him do what he decides to do. It’s his decision.

If it’s not an issue and he’s not being picked on, then why is this even a thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I’m curious - for the people who are saying “don’t retort, they’ll know his mommy supplied the comeback” and “don’t go to the teacher/principal because that makes him a tattler” and “just give him boxer briefs” as if the kids won’t notice he switched underwear and feel triumphant and wonder what else they can “make” him do - what DO you suggest? Because these all seem an awful lot like silencing tactics to reinforce the victim’s place as a victim.

It’s middle school. If you recall middle school, it’s the height of conformity.

Your choice of the term victim is telling. I wouldn’t communicate that thought to the kid.

What does DS want to do? Doesn’t that matter? Just let him do what he decides to do. It’s his decision.

+1 it’s so easy to try new underwear and see if that makes him more comfortable when changing. So many people leap right to victimhood/bullying and taking things right to the top and then wonder why kids have less resilience and problem solving skills. It’s also unclear to me if this is mean comments or the type that middle school boys make all day to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I’m curious - for the people who are saying “don’t retort, they’ll know his mommy supplied the comeback” and “don’t go to the teacher/principal because that makes him a tattler” and “just give him boxer briefs” as if the kids won’t notice he switched underwear and feel triumphant and wonder what else they can “make” him do - what DO you suggest? Because these all seem an awful lot like silencing tactics to reinforce the victim’s place as a victim.

It’s middle school. If you recall middle school, it’s the height of conformity.

Your choice of the term victim is telling. I wouldn’t communicate that thought to the kid.

What does DS want to do? Doesn’t that matter? Just let him do what he decides to do. It’s his decision.

+1 it’s so easy to try new underwear and see if that makes him more comfortable when changing. So many people leap right to victimhood/bullying and taking things right to the top and then wonder why kids have less resilience and problem solving skills. It’s also unclear to me if this is mean comments or the type that middle school boys make all day to each other.

But he’s comfortable with what he’s currently wearing. He wouldn’t be switching underwear if these kids weren’t making comments. This isn’t his decision, it’s theirs.

So many people leap to defend mean behavior, and then wonder why kids are more unkind and depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I’m curious - for the people who are saying “don’t retort, they’ll know his mommy supplied the comeback” and “don’t go to the teacher/principal because that makes him a tattler” and “just give him boxer briefs” as if the kids won’t notice he switched underwear and feel triumphant and wonder what else they can “make” him do - what DO you suggest? Because these all seem an awful lot like silencing tactics to reinforce the victim’s place as a victim.

It’s middle school. If you recall middle school, it’s the height of conformity.

Your choice of the term victim is telling. I wouldn’t communicate that thought to the kid.

What does DS want to do? Doesn’t that matter? Just let him do what he decides to do. It’s his decision.

+1 it’s so easy to try new underwear and see if that makes him more comfortable when changing. So many people leap right to victimhood/bullying and taking things right to the top and then wonder why kids have less resilience and problem solving skills. It’s also unclear to me if this is mean comments or the type that middle school boys make all day to each other.

But he’s comfortable with what he’s currently wearing. He wouldn’t be switching underwear if these kids weren’t making comments. This isn’t his decision, it’s theirs.

So many people leap to defend mean behavior, and then wonder why kids are more unkind and depressed.

I don’t believe that kids are more unkind. I do think kids are more anxious, or at least that’s what the media tells me.

If he wants to stick with his choice of underwear, that’s fine. Let it be. The kids will get bored and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have him ask the other kids why they are looking at his underwear. I’d tell him to say that’s a weird thing to be looking at.

+1

Best answer/advice. On this thread. That will shut them up real quick

Literally won’t shut them up at all. Will kick the situation up a notch.

Ok Jan.

[Anonymous]

People are mostly over-thinking this. OP needs to buy the kid some boxer shorts (so he at least jhas that option) and let him figure out the rest.

[Anonymous]

Is his dad in the picture? I feel like this is a dad department issue and not a mom thing, but I also agree to just buy him some boxer briefs and let him make a decision from there.

[Anonymous]

He should eat the apple

[Anonymous]

I think he knows the choices and can make a decision. He can wear boxer briefs and hopefully get teased less, or stay with what he has and prefers and ignore the teasing. Either way is fine, there is no clear right answer beyond what he prefers to do.