Locker Room Teasing

[Anonymous]

Conscious that there are some weirdo’s using these forums to get their kicks, so please be mindful of what you share.

My DS 11 has just started at his new middle school, generally settling in well and has made a few new friends as well as a couple who followed from elementary. He’s a nice kid, generally gets on well with everyone even if not close friends, not one to cause trouble or pick on others etc. He is quite sensitive though, not overly so but also not crazy confident and loud.

He’s confided in me this afternoon that a few of the kids he doesn’t know have been making unkind comments when they’ve been changing for gym class, laughing at him and calling him a baby because he wears briefs not boxers/trunks as the majority of others seem to.

It’s his choice, he has always found them more comfortable since potty training - over the years I’ve bought him different underwear to try a few times (usually because they had a favourite character on and he wanted them!) but he’s never got on well with them, and they always end up shoved to the back of his drawer or worn as PJs. Fair enough, I wouldn’t want to wear something I found uncomfortable either! Glad he knows his mind and despite not being too confident he’s been assertive to make his own choices.

I don’t want him getting ahead of hard time and being bullied about it though, from my distant memories of middle school it can be tough enough without making yourself stand out and giving those who want to bully ammunition. I did ask whether it was just him, but he said there are a couple of other boys who got laughed at too.

Now I’m torn, the confident adult in me wants to tell him to own it, he should do him and let them do them etc. Why should he be uncomfortable just because of what others think, about something which is very much a personal choice and absolutely nothing to do with them? Besides, whilst not being male and having no first hand experience, I’d have thought briefs may be a better option for sports - particularly as the boys get older?

On the other hand, is this a hill to die on? Is it worth putting a target on his back over? Would it be kinder to gently encourage him to consider wearing boxers on the days he’s got to change for gym, even if he doesn’t really like them, just so he’s not singling himself out for ridicule?

Why do some kids have to make mountains out of the strangest molehills?

[Anonymous]

Most boys wear boxers or boxer briefs at that age. I’d get him some (maybe try a few types) and see if he chooses to wear them instead of briefs. Under Armour boxer briefs are a popular choice.

It is a tough age, and many kids find it easier to dress to fit in.

[Anonymous]

At least they’re not ripping his pants off like what used to happen in my public schools locker room

[Anonymous]

This is funny because my DS in 7th grade brought this up to me recently. He wears briefs. I asked him what he wants to do and he said switch to boxer briefs. That’s what his older brother wears.

So, I’ll buy him boxer briefs. No biggie.

[Anonymous]

Panties are for babies and old men. Boxers or boxer briefs.

[Anonymous]

Just buy him the boxer briefs—dear lord. They ALL wear boxers or boxer briefs. You don’t need to take a stand against bullying here mom.

And no characters! Omg!

[Anonymous]

Get him some athletic fabric boxer briefs. Solid colors. Addidas, UA, Puma, Rebook...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just buy him the boxer briefs—dear lord. They ALL wear boxers or boxer briefs. You don’t need to take a stand against bullying here mom.

And no characters! Omg!

+1

This is an easy one. Just buy what the others have. Not at all the age, issue, or time to be taking a stand on bullying.

[Anonymous]

As you can see, OP, so much of this behavior is learned from parents. Children of mean girls/bullies are going to end up being bullies themselves.

[Anonymous]

I would have him ask the other kids why they are looking at his underwear. I’d tell him to say that’s a weird thing to be looking at.

[Anonymous]

Tell him it takes about a month to adjust to something new. So buy the softest ones you can find that don't have a band around the thigh and tell him to try them until Halloween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just buy him the boxer briefs—dear lord. They ALL wear boxers or boxer briefs. You don’t need to take a stand against bullying here mom.

And no characters! Omg!

Oh man I didn't even see the character part the first time I read it. Holy cow I hope this is a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just buy him the boxer briefs—dear lord. They ALL wear boxers or boxer briefs. You don’t need to take a stand against bullying here mom.

And no characters! Omg!

Oh man I didn't even see the character part the first time I read it. Holy cow I hope this is a troll post.

OP didn’t say anything about characters.

[Anonymous]

Oh whoops, missed it. Yes, no characters.

[Anonymous]

Buy him some boxer briefs and let him choose. Give him a couple comebacks for the locker room. Tell him he can be comfortable and confident in being a bit different or he can be less confortable but fit in. His choice.

Joking, teashing, making fun of each other is how many middle school boys relate. It doens't mean they don't like each other, they just interact in very different ways than groups of girls do and the dynamic can be quite different - especially in middle schoo.