Dealing with sadness over disappointing vacation?

[Anonymous]

We’ve had all sorts of bad things happen. I hear you, OP.

The only thing I know to do is enjoy anything little bit I can—even if it’s just a small slice of time.

I hope your family is safe and healthy and am so sorry you had a bad time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Oh I think it is. Again if you had perspective you’d just be grateful you were able to get away and afford a vacation. Miserable people are always going to have a bad time.

I think you might be missing the perspective that hopefully not every moment of life is a matter of life and death. And you are allowed to have feelings about those non-life and death moments, too. Including feeling disappointed when a vacation you've anticipated turns out badly.

I think we'd all say something was wrong if OP started a GoFundMe and begged her friends and neighbors to buy her another trip, and threatened to throw herself off a roof over the disappointing vacation, or told a friend with cancer that the friend doesn't know true suffering because they'd never had rain for a straight week when all they desperately wanted was to sleep on the beach.

But to have very limited time off, and look forward to doing something rewarding during that time off, but to find your plans all thwarted - when you know you aren't getting that kind of time off again anytime soon. Yeah, it's ok to complain a little bit, and to feel terrible for a short while.

Anyway, I'm sorry such awful things have happened to you. May you one day have the luxury of feeling sad about a bad meal or a souring relationship, or a deeply disappointing vacation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Oh I think it is. Again if you had perspective you’d just be grateful you were able to get away and afford a vacation. Miserable people are always going to have a bad time.

Sounds like you have a lot of first hand experience. Maybe go on a vacation and relax instead of being a judgmental loser?

[Anonymous]

It’s totally fair to be disappointed by a vacation sometimes. People have limited vacation time and want to enjoy it. We had rainy weather last year for our vacation, combined with a poor choice of lodgings. It ended up being ok, but not great. This year was better and it’s not like we did anything much different. Just the way it goes. OP, hopefully next year will be better.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We didn't get to go on our honeymoon because the island got hit by a hurricane two days before the wedding. We went on a smaller US vacation.

We had never been on trip together and just graduated from dental school. Dirt poor.

You make the best of it. You can find the joy in just being together.

Clearly you weren’t “dirt poor” if you were planning to fly to an island resort for your honeymoon right after paying for a wedding. C’mon.

Or did you use a honeyfund? LOL

Lol dirt poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

DP. Oh, please. It’s impossible to be sick unless you have a brain tumor? I have an auto immune disease, and food poisoning can definitely be debilitating. Not to be too graphic, but when you are bent over with horrific cramps, combined with projectile vomiting and uncontrollable diarrhea, all at the same time, that’s the definition of debilitating.

[Anonymous]

Well my DH is on a two week trip while I am stuck at home with a complicated pregnancy. Don't really have much sympathy for you, OP. Gotta make the best of things.

[Anonymous]

It's normal to be disappointed when a trip doesn't work out as planned, but "crushed" is a little over the top - either your expectations were too high, you were too rigid in your planning, or you don't have the ability to go with the flow.

I've had two vacations canceled at the last minute - one the day we were supposed to fly out, and the other right after we got there (didn't even spend a night, had to leave immediately) because of unpredicted natural disasters shutting down the place we were visiting. In both cases we'd been planning for nearly a year. We took a day to wallow in the disappointment and worry about the affected residents, then made a new plan, went somewhere entirely different on a day's notice, and had a great time.

Another time, our flight to destination was diverted, and we got stuck in some random small town for the first 4 days of our "vacation" until the airline could get us out. Oh well. We explored the random small city and actually enjoyed it.

I got food poisoning on another vacation. That sucked, but it only lasted a day plus another day to recover. The rest of the vacation was still great.

One place we went had been really built up as this amazing place, but it turned out to just not be our thing. We laughed about it for the first day, then skipped out and made alternate plans.

Even if you were really looking forward to something, you have to anticipate that you can't control everything, sometimes you'll have to adapt as you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors. :roll:

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

Omg you are insufferable. OP came on a discussion board, in particular a travel sub-forum, to discuss a particular travel vent. She didn’t set up a go fund me so she can plan another trip. She isn’t at a chemo center whining to cancer patients. If you don’t want to discuss the disappointments of travel, you are free to scroll past.

I have a kid with SNs and I post/read about a lot of heavy topics in that forum. But I can also hold other thoughts in my head about less significant issues and have empathy for the more mundane disappointments in life. If she were posting 6 months later it may be extreme, but on the last day of her trip it seems normal she is reflecting and feeling bummed.

Also I posted earlier about having limited funds and PTO to do fun things. So I think there could be an element of burnout and being disappointed your break was lackluster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors. :roll:

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

Omg you are insufferable. OP came on a discussion board, in particular a travel sub-forum, to discuss a particular travel vent. She didn’t set up a go fund me so she can plan another trip. She isn’t at a chemo center whining to cancer patients. If you don’t want to discuss the disappointments of travel, you are free to scroll past.

I have a kid with SNs and I post/read about a lot of heavy topics in that forum. But I can also hold other thoughts in my head about less significant issues and have empathy for the more mundane disappointments in life. If she were posting 6 months later it may be extreme, but on the last day of her trip it seems normal she is reflecting and feeling bummed.

Also I posted earlier about having limited funds and PTO to do fun things. So I think there could be an element of burnout and being disappointed your break was lackluster.

+1 some people act like empathy and sympathy are a finite resource

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

+1. It’s not the pain Olympics. If you can’t relate, just move along.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

I mean family members of mine were killed in a war, so yeah, I can’t imagine a ruined vacation being worse than that. Sorry, don’t have grace and empathy for this person. Be grateful you can go on vacation. Next.

So because somebody somewhere lost family members in a war no one can ever be disappointed about anything ever? Even on a *travel* discussion forum?

I’m assuming since your family members suffered such tragedy you never have a bad day ever and never ever ever complain about anything that isn’t literally death. If your going to post stuff like this you better be Miss Susie Sunshine no matter what or else you’re a humongous hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband got norovirus on our trip to Sonoma wine country. I pulled my calf muscle on the 2ns day of a 4 day hiking trip. We didn’t get to snorkel or take a glass bottom boat tour in the Keys because it was too windy for boats to go out for 4/7 days of our trip. We just got back from Northern Cascades and Grand Tetons national parks - and our view of the mountains was obscured by forest fire smoke. These are not big problems. They are minor disappointments and we still found things to enjoy.

However there is one “vacation” I can’t let go. I had a terrible, stressful year at work where I felt completely burned out. I scheduled a whole week off of work. I worked extra in advance to make sure nothing would slip while I was out. I scheduled a haircut and a manicure along with my dental cleaning. I scheduled coffee with an old friend and lunch with another. I checked out a book from the library and hired a home organizer to help me declutter for an afternoon. The Saturday before “my week”, one of my kids came down with a stomach bug. It passed through each family member with a new person falling ill each 36 hours. I had to cancel all of my appointments and spent the week in the bathroom or cleaning and doing laundry. I returned to work more exhausted and angry than before I left. The only bright side is that I had planned to be out, so I didn’t have a backlog of work to make up. The pandemic started a few months later and it was almost 3 years before I was able to take off a few days in a row to relax and tackle some home projects in peace. Knowing my week was coming up was the one thing that kept me going for the months leading up to it, so I totally understand OP’s disappointment.

I think this post really hits at the heart of it. Being disappointed over the trip is a symptom of something larger, like burn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors. :roll:

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Oh I think it is. Again if you had perspective you’d just be grateful you were able to get away and afford a vacation. Miserable people are always going to lack empathy for others and try to turn other people’s experiences back to themselves.

Fixed it for you. Stop trying to make everyone’s experience about you. And the only miserable negative person on this thread is you.

[Anonymous]

I think the cure is to travel more. You win some & you lose some. Good luck!