Dealing with sadness over disappointing vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t like my recent vacation either and is was long overdue. Plan the next so you look forward!

Where did you go and why didn't you like it?

[Anonymous]

Hopefully once a little time passes you can laugh at it. We have had some disappointments, like getting COVID 3 days into our first vacation in years, or a few terrible hotels etc. It really makes the good times seem more special.
I generally feel like I can have fun anywhere I go, I just like being out and about. I echo PP who said to plan a small, low stakes trip (overnight?) and see if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

I mean family members of mine were killed in a war, so yeah, I can’t imagine a ruined vacation being worse than that. Sorry, don’t have grace and empathy for this person. Be grateful you can go on vacation. Next.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had your problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

I mean family members of mine were killed in a war, so yeah, I can’t imagine a ruined vacation being worse than that. Sorry, don’t have grace and empathy for this person. Be grateful you can go on vacation. Next.

ZERO people said it was the worst thing that could happen or that it was worse than a death.

[Anonymous]

Our summer vacation this year was a funeral.

I mean literally.

[Anonymous]

This thread really resonates with me. We just got back from Europe where our main event was the Taylor Swift concert. Over a year planning, getting tickets, meticulously organizing things around this once in a lifetime event and it was cancelled. Then we all got sick. I know, better safe than sorry, but it still stung. I'm so disappointed and angry that this vacation I spent so long planning and a really shitty year looking forward to as a light at the end of a tunnel event just vanished. Anyway, moving on but I really appreciated the posts about needing to adjust expectations heading into a trip. I'm usually good with that but this time was definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

I mean family members of mine were killed in a war, so yeah, I can’t imagine a ruined vacation being worse than that. Sorry, don’t have grace and empathy for this person. Be grateful you can go on vacation. Next.

omg

[Anonymous]

Been there. Honestly, it took time to process the sadness. Part of the reason it sucked was dynamics with my sister. The other reason was that we had bad weather (beach)-- but we were able to pivot and do outings, like PPs.

But I also finally was able to come to terms that my sister is not a nice person and is always going to look down on me. Or she has her own issues. This trip cost a $$$$(in part so that we could be in the same town during the same time). I decided to reframe as it very expensive lesson.

But, yeah, I was bitter. My husband and I had really needed a break after running top speed at work (not to mention the usual life responsibilities). It will just take some time, OP. Just wallow in your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low expectations are the key to happiness.

Definitely works!

[Anonymous]

My husband got norovirus on our trip to Sonoma wine country. I pulled my calf muscle on the 2ns day of a 4 day hiking trip. We didn’t get to snorkel or take a glass bottom boat tour in the Keys because it was too windy for boats to go out for 4/7 days of our trip. We just got back from Northern Cascades and Grand Tetons national parks - and our view of the mountains was obscured by forest fire smoke. These are not big problems. They are minor disappointments and we still found things to enjoy.

However there is one “vacation” I can’t let go. I had a terrible, stressful year at work where I felt completely burned out. I scheduled a whole week off of work. I worked extra in advance to make sure nothing would slip while I was out. I scheduled a haircut and a manicure along with my dental cleaning. I scheduled coffee with an old friend and lunch with another. I checked out a book from the library and hired a home organizer to help me declutter for an afternoon. The Saturday before “my week”, one of my kids came down with a stomach bug. It passed through each family member with a new person falling ill each 36 hours. I had to cancel all of my appointments and spent the week in the bathroom or cleaning and doing laundry. I returned to work more exhausted and angry than before I left. The only bright side is that I had planned to be out, so I didn’t have a backlog of work to make up. The pandemic started a few months later and it was almost 3 years before I was able to take off a few days in a row to relax and tackle some home projects in peace. Knowing my week was coming up was the one thing that kept me going for the months leading up to it, so I totally understand OP’s disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need some perspective. Some people never get to take vacation. Some people are dealing with truly terrible things in their lives. In the grand scheme of things, you should consider yourself lucky that a disappointing vacation is the cause of your sadness.

Here we go with the ol' FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS bs. Just because there are starving people in Africa doesn't mean OP can't feel sadness over a vacation. Sheesh. Go put up more "all are welcome" and "we believe in science" signs in your yard.

Except the OP is super dramatic and said she doesn’t know how she will ever get over this. Honestly, if this is your worst problem in life, you’re very lucky but to have the audacity to treat this like a horrible trauma is tone deaf and ungrateful.

Oh stop. Yes she’s dramatic but you assumed lots of things. For all you know, someone in her family has a serious illness or situation and this was supposed to be a breath of air from the difficulty. She didn’t say it was her worst problem in life, maybe she has many. Her post was not tone deaf (to whom?) or ungrateful (who the heck do you feel is she supposed to be thanking?). Maybe she spent a fortune to take her kids to Disney one time in their childhood and all the negatives (long lines, lots of competition, hot) made it lots of work, not magical and just a giant expense.

+1
Have some empathy people.

My best friend's child has special needs and she worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices, financially and with time, etc. to plan a trip the child really wanted to do and everything went to shit. Child had multiple breakdowns and accidentally injured themselves. She had planned for difficult times during the trip but did not expect the entire thing to be that horrible.

I don't know OP's situation but I think everyone imagines her as some kind of UMC white woman with a DH and two all A nice kids she wishes were perfect throwing a woe is me pity party because she had a fight with her DD or something over what to eat or DD was on her phone all the time. We don't know and why not offer a stranger some grace?

I mean family members of mine were killed in a war, so yeah, I can’t imagine a ruined vacation being worse than that. Sorry, don’t have grace and empathy for this person. Be grateful you can go on vacation. Next.

You think you have it so bad? Count your blessings. Could always be worse. Extended family isn’t nearly as bad as losing a child. Get some perspective but you can’t “win” here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Oh I think it is. Again if you had perspective you’d just be grateful you were able to get away and afford a vacation. Miserable people are always going to have a bad time.