Dealing with sadness over disappointing vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expectations are always greater than reality. Lower your expectations; also sounds like you need to do some work with a therapist. I predict you are a firstborn high-functioning perfectionist with latent ADHD.

RUDE! What did I do to you?!

OP, I have this experience sometimes and I think it's a function of not having enough to look forward to in my daily life, plus anxiety. I used to be in academia so I was used to a lot more work travel plus flexible time off; now that I have more typical PTO, vacation time and travel feel so scarce and precious, there's almost too much anticipation.

NP and to the 2 PPs above...ok I feel seen

Same - but also, to the PPP re: not having nearly enough PTO and so it feels so scarce. I used to travel CONSTANTLY - lived overseas; spent all my money on travel; had tons of time off - and I loved getting to basically take it for granted. Jet off to Tokyo for the weekend and whatever we do, we do. That kind of travel was my favorite.

It feels so high stakes now that I have really limited time off. I love where I live, luckily, and do have things I look forward to in daily life. Now most of our actual travel is to see family, so I guess there I don't feel such high stakes - just go and eat too much with people I love. But when we do take a trip, I feel like it has to be so special and blah blah blah. It's less fun that way. My favorite non-family trips now are where we just drive a few hours away to someplace we haven't been before and check things out. It's very low stakes.

Sorry OP. I hope you come back and tell us more about the trip - but also, hope you get to take another trip sometime and enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Did OP ever post where they went??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this sounds like a personality defect or character flaw that should be addressed in therapy. What you describe is not in any way, shape or form a normal emotion.

Of course it’s normal to feel sad about a trip gone bad. We had a ski trip this winter where everything g that could go wrong, went wrong. It was a pricey trip and our flight was cancelled just as we made it through security. Shitty booking.com room once we finally got there. Set the tone for the rest of the trip. I was disappointed for several days and then got over it when I realized so many others have had bad trip experiences. It happens. You live in and try again another time. Now, if you are still brooding after a week or so, then a little therapy to help you reframe the experience could help, but finding a good therapist takes months so not always the solution people think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever post where they went??

Gotta be Disney!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t like my recent vacation either and is was long overdue. Plan the next so you look forward!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got food poisoning once on day 1 and spent the entire expensive vacation in an expensive hotel room bathroom floor while my DH did a few of the expensive excursions by himself and we let the other ones go to waste. It was awful, and frankly 8 years later it still is to remember. I always plan for bad weather wherever we go and my expectations there are always low, but you can’t plan for debilitating illness.

Food poisoning is not a debilitating illness. Try an auto-immune disease on for size. Or maybe threw in a few brain tumors.

This isn’t a contest. You don’t win anything by playing the biggest victim. Other people have their own problems, it’s not your job to put them in their place.

Some things are objectively not as big of a deal as others. Think hang nail vs broken leg. Not everyone deserves a pity party when they are being a grown up baby.

Nobody ever really “deserves” anything. Go start your own post about your miserable life and maybe someone will humor you.

People who are going through real hardships deserve sympathy and help. You have clearly never experienced any real debilitating illness. Instead of throwing a tantrum, be grateful.

People going through real hardships deserve empathy - but don't get to tell everyone else that the ups and downs of our own lives don't matter because they relate to thinks that aren't at the bottom rung of the hierarchies of needs.

OP didn't say her life is over and she'll never enjoy everything again. She's bummed out that a trip she was looking forward to was a bust. That is normal and human - she doesn't have to be told that at least she's not dying of cancer.

You and op both lack perspective. If you had that, you’d get it. But you don’t, so you don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Need more info from OP. Our older neighbors complained terribly about how bad their "dream" 10-day Mediterranean cruise was because the food and wine were disappointing and their two-level luxury concierge suite was smaller and less opulent than they expected.

[Anonymous]

I’ve traveled a lot and planned many trips. Things that help

1) realistic expectations. Some places were better than l expected, others were not.
2) detailed planning but also flexibility. List of places you need to book ahead and let’s do it if we can. I like to plan only 1 major activity and 1 meal a day and let the rest be more flexible based on weather, recommendations l get after l arrive, etc
3) don’t overspend. Splurge on the occasional nice hotel, meal or activity but everything doesn’t need to be expensive. Some of my very best experiences have been free or almost free. The best meal of my life was a $300 lunch in Paris, but l don’t want that to be normal l want it to be special. Besides who wants a 3 hour lunch more than once in a blue moon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever post where they went??

Gotta be Disney!

DP here. Nah, Disney is totally predictable. My guess is a national park or foreign country. We did a big national park trip and had unseasonably bad weather, plus my kids eventually got bored of hiking and being cold. In the end, it was overrated. Thankfully we didn’t overspend and we had another trip planned a few months later that went great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP ever post where they went??

Gotta be Disney!

DP here. Nah, Disney is totally predictable. My guess is a national park or foreign country. We did a big national park trip and had unseasonably bad weather, plus my kids eventually got bored of hiking and being cold. In the end, it was overrated. Thankfully we didn’t overspend and we had another trip planned a few months later that went great.

If the park is either crowded or buggy, that can really ruin the experience

[Anonymous]

The best vacations we have experienced were not overscheduled, few expectations, spontaneous activities and small group 2-3. The worst trip were the opposite.