Where is all of the anxiety coming from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

We don't have a TV or internet at home. Just a data plan for my phone. We get home at 6ish and I make dinner while they play with toys, look at books, etc. We eat, I give them baths, and read to them and they go to bed. Dishes, laundry, pack lunch for the next day, send some work emails, read a chapter of a book, go to bed. Unless I win the lottery, this setup won't change. I don't have money for extras like activities, wifi, etc. I feel lucky if I have money for free fruit instead of frozen.

[Anonymous]

I think you can peruse the threads here and get your answer - “help, my kid has a new teacher next year”, “is it ok for a k’er to ride the bus?”, “my son doesn’t want to be an astronaut”. We have the luxury to worry about these details and it transfers to our kids. I am no different - I just spent 20 min checking to see which kids are in my 7th grader’s classes to see if any of the known troublemakers are with him. Total waste of my time, but I can’t help myself.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty sure they will link specific bacterial deficits in our microbiomes to anxiety. They’ve already done it with depression. Gut health gets worse and worse with each generation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

We don't have a TV or internet at home. Just a data plan for my phone. We get home at 6ish and I make dinner while they play with toys, look at books, etc. We eat, I give them baths, and read to them and they go to bed. Dishes, laundry, pack lunch for the next day, send some work emails, read a chapter of a book, go to bed. Unless I win the lottery, this setup won't change. I don't have money for extras like activities, wifi, etc. I feel lucky if I have money for free fruit instead of frozen.

Your children's world is going to change when they get older. Prepare to change with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

We don't have a TV or internet at home. Just a data plan for my phone. We get home at 6ish and I make dinner while they play with toys, look at books, etc. We eat, I give them baths, and read to them and they go to bed. Dishes, laundry, pack lunch for the next day, send some work emails, read a chapter of a book, go to bed. Unless I win the lottery, this setup won't change. I don't have money for extras like activities, wifi, etc. I feel lucky if I have money for free fruit instead of frozen.

Your children's world is going to change when they get older. Prepare to change with them.

Unless they can counterfeit some money, not much can change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

We don't have a TV or internet at home. Just a data plan for my phone. We get home at 6ish and I make dinner while they play with toys, look at books, etc. We eat, I give them baths, and read to them and they go to bed. Dishes, laundry, pack lunch for the next day, send some work emails, read a chapter of a book, go to bed. Unless I win the lottery, this setup won't change. I don't have money for extras like activities, wifi, etc. I feel lucky if I have money for free fruit instead of frozen.

don’t worry! when your kids hit an age that it is developmentally appropriate to do more activities, they’ll be in middle school and the activities will be free. Especially in DC there are a lot of great free activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

We don't have a TV or internet at home. Just a data plan for my phone. We get home at 6ish and I make dinner while they play with toys, look at books, etc. We eat, I give them baths, and read to them and they go to bed. Dishes, laundry, pack lunch for the next day, send some work emails, read a chapter of a book, go to bed. Unless I win the lottery, this setup won't change. I don't have money for extras like activities, wifi, etc. I feel lucky if I have money for free fruit instead of frozen.

Your children's world is going to change when they get older. Prepare to change with them.

Unless they can counterfeit some money, not much can change.

unfortunately you will have to get them wifi for school because everything is done online. but with some planning you can probably access some kind of discount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is big pharma pushing meds. It is not only kids over-diagnosed. It is the same with adults.

Just look at ADHD symptoms. Very normal stuff. Nobody is on point all the time. Pushing Amphetamines to very normal people.

My daughter's psychiatrist in high school pushed adderal insisting it would help her do better in school. She had no attention problems. She just hated academics and was focused on ballet, where she is now.

She took the adderal for about a week with awful side effects including agitation, jittery, no sleep. That was the end of that.

I was really surprised she thought ADD was an issue. It never was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

Actually, basic parenting is making your kids responsible for assembling their own lunch.

People who say this only give their kids pre-packaged processed foods for lunch. Which is fine. But if lunch is left overs and fresh foods that need to be portioned out, cut with a sharp knife, put in containers, etc. then an adult needs to do that. A 7-year-old cannot peel and cut chunks of mango nor cut a square of leftover lasagna and put it in a smaller container, not without making an unnecessary mess and causing more work for his parents. Get real.

Parents need to give their kids more responsibility, and trust that they're capable. It might be more work for you when they're 7, but it pays off down the road.

Lol, no. My parents made lunches for me until the day I graduated high school. I view that as evidence of their love and caring for me. I am a fully functional adult, never dealt with anxiety, cook dinner 6x a week and make my own children’s lunches every day but pizza day. Sorry but you are off on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

Actually, basic parenting is making your kids responsible for assembling their own lunch.

People who say this only give their kids pre-packaged processed foods for lunch. Which is fine. But if lunch is left overs and fresh foods that need to be portioned out, cut with a sharp knife, put in containers, etc. then an adult needs to do that. A 7-year-old cannot peel and cut chunks of mango nor cut a square of leftover lasagna and put it in a smaller container, not without making an unnecessary mess and causing more work for his parents. Get real.

Kids are fine with a sandwich with ham/turkey and cheese or a hard boiled eggs or cheese and crackers. They can put a piece of fruit in too. A banana, apple, clementine and others don’t require cutting. My kid at a variation of this for years and he made it himself starting in 2nd/3rd grade. He never had hot meals because he wouldn’t be able to heat it up at school. I ate a cheese sandwich every day for at least 6 yrs. Stop making excuses for your kids.

Soooo you’d rather feed your kids processed cheese and deli meats and the same three fruits over and over again, rather than give him a variety of nutritionally balanced meals, all for the sake of making him “responsible”? That is ridiculous to the extreme. Especially bc there are many other kid-appropriate responsibilities that can be given such as daily or weekly chores, keeping their room neat, and helping with cooking (though not doing it all themselves)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s coming from the parents. Yes, the low-income children have real hardships. But their parents aren’t out there expecting them to be class president, captain of a varsity team, get a 4.0 and get into Princeton. Upper income parents are a special kind of messed up lately.

My sister is in the rich private school world and her extreme fixation on college admissions is craaaazy. It does make me think I need to do more though. But the way she talks about it, it’s as if her kid (sweet, funny, tall, organized, bright, good grades, self-directed) is on the brink of disaster because she’s not in line for the top colleges.

its interesting you put that in there. kid is tall, will be fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many adderall / vyvanse addicts. Not much different from the oxy addicts except easier to OD and die with opiods.

Crazy to me that parents let their kids take ADHD meds.

would you say the same about diabetes drugs? just because it's not empiracally proveable in the same way doesn't mean it's not true. and ADHD meds are the gold standard of treatment and relieve a lot of suffering. I have a kid with ADHD and it's amazing how much she and hte rest of us are happier when she's on them. I find it crazy that parents hold their kids back from medical treatment when warrented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

it's not even that it's palatable, it's that the sutff the carfeterias give out -- unless it's changed dramatically since i lived in DC - is truly terrible for your healht

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple [b]slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

Actually, basic parenting is making your kids responsible for assembling their own lunch.

People who say this only give their kids pre-packaged processed foods for lunch. Which is fine. But if lunch is left overs and fresh foods that need to be portioned out, cut with a sharp knife, put in containers, etc. then an adult needs to do that. A 7-year-old cannot peel and cut chunks of mango nor cut a square of leftover lasagna and put it in a smaller container, not without making an unnecessary mess and causing more work for his parents. Get real.

This post was so interesting to read. I am from South Africa. A 7-year-old can absolutely cut, peel and portion food. It is cultural not developmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

Actually, basic parenting is making your kids responsible for assembling their own lunch.

People who say this only give their kids pre-packaged processed foods for lunch. Which is fine. But if lunch is left overs and fresh foods that need to be portioned out, cut with a sharp knife, put in containers, etc. then an adult needs to do that. A 7-year-old cannot peel and cut chunks of mango nor cut a square of leftover lasagna and put it in a smaller container, not without making an unnecessary mess and causing more work for his parents. Get real.

Parents need to give their kids more responsibility, and trust that they're capable. It might be more work for you when they're 7, but it pays off down the road.

Lol, no. My parents made lunches for me until the day I graduated high school. I view that as evidence of their love and caring for me. I am a fully functional adult, never dealt with anxiety, cook dinner 6x a week and make my own children’s lunches every day but pizza day. Sorry but you are off on this one.

And I felt that my mom loved me because she worked hard at two different jobs to put food on the table. I made my own lunches (and my brother made his) starting in early ES. I felt like a very capable kid doing my chores.