Where is all of the anxiety coming from?

[Anonymous]

Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

[Anonymous]

The type of parents who value and can afford private school tend to fixate on their child’s emotional well-being in a way that counterintuitively fosters anxiety in some children. Research shows that a focus on emotions (“How does it make you feel, Larlo?” “Why are you upset, Larla?”) makes children elevate their feelings to a degree that is unbalanced and creates neurotic anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

Actually, basic parenting is making your kids responsible for assembling their own lunch.

People who say this only give their kids pre-packaged processed foods for lunch. Which is fine. But if lunch is left overs and fresh foods that need to be portioned out, cut with a sharp knife, put in containers, etc. then an adult needs to do that. A 7-year-old cannot peel and cut chunks of mango nor cut a square of leftover lasagna and put it in a smaller container, not without making an unnecessary mess and causing more work for his parents. Get real.

Parents need to give their kids more responsibility, and trust that they're capable. It might be more work for you when they're 7, but it pays off down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Interesting thoughts. You would think my students at school would experience anxiety since their families are much more unstable financially, socially, etc than these wealthy kids. There wealth is unbelievable. I had these kids for 8 weeks (most go to this private school) and the vacations they went on sounded super expensive. Fiji, private yachts in the Mediterranean, etc. You would think that level of wealth would cause kids to feel stable. They don’t need to worry if they will be evicted (like my students).

I think you don’t understand much about anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Write this date down. You will be eating your words in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The type of parents who value and can afford private school tend to fixate on their child’s emotional well-being in a way that counterintuitively fosters anxiety in some children. Research shows that a focus on emotions (“How does it make you feel, Larlo?” “Why are you upset, Larla?”) makes children elevate their feelings to a degree that is unbalanced and creates neurotic anxiety.

What research? I don’t think that’s accurate AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

I don’t think your kids coming home doing nothing but playing video games and watching TV after school will be coming out ahead in the end, speaking of what’s “good for anyone.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents who are disconnected from their kids. They don’t actually spend time talking to their kids and trying to understand their feelings. They are just on their phones scheduling activities for their kids, shuttling them to and fro, scrolling through social media, buying crap from Amazon.

And yes, I realize I am on my phone but right now my kids are playing outside with their cousins and I am taking a break after hosting brunch. I am rarely on my phone in their presence other than to respond to urgent texts.

Sure jann

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but working parents do not need to cart their kids around to activities that take the place of family dinners and bedtime. My neighbor has an 8 yr old in aftercare and then takes him to a bunch of activities after that. A few nights per week he has soccer/lacrosse until 9pm. No way is that good for anyone.

What dog do you have in this fight if you have to use a neighbor as an example? How old are your kids?

Mine are 2 and 4. I will not be shuttling them around everywhere. I honestly don’t have the time or energy (or money).

Yes you will.

Nope. No dinero. I’m DCUM poor. My kids qualify for free preschool and free school meals.

Your broke ass will change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The type of parents who value and can afford private school tend to fixate on their child’s emotional well-being in a way that counterintuitively fosters anxiety in some children. Research shows that a focus on emotions (“How does it make you feel, Larlo?” “Why are you upset, Larla?”) makes children elevate their feelings to a degree that is unbalanced and creates neurotic anxiety.

What research? I don’t think that’s accurate AT ALL.

If you’ve ever dealt with actual, clinical anxiety you’d know that thinking about your feelings can lead to an anxiety spiral. One of the “tricks” you learn is to pay as litte attention to anxious feelings/thoughts as possible or actively talk back to them.

[Anonymous]

I am so against all the SEL “innovations” in schools today. They are making everything worse.

DD7 was at an orientation for a new school last week and they met with a “feelings teacher” and had to visually depict their emotions. It’s literally assuming things are going to go wrong and that the kids are so fragile they need buttressing before school even starts.

Now I have to work even harder to offset this and build actual resilience and self-trust at home.