Where is all of the anxiety coming from?

[Anonymous]

In part, this is an urban/suburban issue. It is not, in my experience, an issue for families living in small/mid-sized towns (outside suburbia) or in rural areas.

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago at my son’s 6 year old birthday party with 10 kids I learned he and one other boy were the only ones not in weekly therapy nor are either on meds.

That continues to blow my mind
Nothing is wrong with therapy but I find it shocking to be this prevalent.

[Anonymous]

That is insane. Perfectly normal kids being put on meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In part, this is an urban/suburban issue. It is not, in my experience, an issue for families living in small/mid-sized towns (outside suburbia) or in rural areas.

Oh please. I grew up very rural and was quite anxious and so was my sister. Partially because it runs in the family but also because our town was a hot mess of drugs and violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what the parents are calling anxiety is what I would call nervousness or situational anxiety. I think it is something everyone has. They would tell/email me that Larlo can't do x, y, z because it makes him anxious. Okay, me too. The kids all know their diagnosis too because some used it to try to get out of doing things they didn't want to do. I would tell them to clean up the art room before we left to go to gym. Some would just sit there and not do it. When I'd tell them they needed to help clean up, occasionally one would say, "My mom says if I'm feeling anxious, I should take a break." WTH? No.

99.8% of them have no such “diagnosis.”

The reality is you shouldn’t have to accommodate it and parents shouldn’t coddle it. Don’t let kids use these stupid labels as a crutch — it’s bad for them.

You sound extremely uneducated and uninformed.

I am a licensed counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids have fewer opportunities to prove competence, and fewer opportunities to do something out of their comfort zone. They are chaperoned at the bus stop -- heck, they are even driven to the bus and allowed to wait in the car. There was a thread about leaving teens at home where a parent ordered Door Dash while traveling because she didn't want her 14yo twins to use the stove or oven unsupervised. If everyone in your world constantly tells you they don't think you're capable enough, brave enough, clever enough... pretty soon you begin to believe it.

You realize parents are forced to wait at the bus stop. There are rules about meeting the bus. Also realize that you can’t have it both ways. You can’t force parents to be at their kid’s side every step of the way then complain that they are hovering and over involved.

Where I live, parents don’t need to meet the bus after kindergarten, yet the majority accompanied their kids through sixth grade. Pretty sure this is what PP is referring to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks ago at my son’s 6 year old birthday party with 10 kids I learned he and one other boy were the only ones not in weekly therapy nor are either on meds.

That continues to blow my mind
Nothing is wrong with therapy but I find it shocking to be this prevalent.

My kid has an “actual” SN (on the spectrum, aggression, serious fine motor issues) and I am always amazed that parents borrow trouble. I’m like, if my kid was not literally on the verge of getting removed from school, there is NO WAY I’d be doing any of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

This exactly describes our high SES public school. So many of the parents are nuts.

[Anonymous]

I know several people who do research and clinical practice in child/adolescent mental health and this topic came up recently. There is thinking that it’s linked to the over scheduling so prevalent among affluent families. Running from school to one activity to the next does not give the nervous system a chance to calm down. There is more pressure for kids to find “their thing” at a younger age and be really good at and committed to something in a way that we only used to expect in older teens. And of course being in structured activities all the time means less time to connect with family and peers in the kind of meaningful way that buffers against anxiety 2nd depression. Some kids can handle the frantic pace and pressure to be successful but for many it will put them risk for these outcomes, especially if anxiety already runs in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things that shocked me: Kids not walking a mile to school, or in the rain, or in the cold. Families making lunch every single day. Teacher/or child calling from school that the child forgot something at home. Parents routinely standing at the school door, or at the playground, or wherever the closest is they are allowed. School expectation that a parent has free time -during the school/work day- more than rarely. Kiss and Ride .. the idea that parents make this nonsense part of their day. It's not a private school w/no bus service. Use the bus

Parents are wacko. That's why there is so much anxiety.

While I agree kids are too coddled and 99.8% of this “anxiety” is excuse-making or performative bullshit, I find it odd these things “shock” you.

1) My kids walk 3/4 a mile to school. In a group with other kids. Just like I did in 1980. Most kids do.

2) Yeah, we make their lunch. Better than the school lunch. They’re getting themselves ready during this time. So what?

3) Schools generally prohibit calling home for missing items or might allow it once. This was the policy in our LCPS school.

4) No idea what you’re on about regarding standing close to the door. Most kids find their own way home.

5) Whatever are you prattling on about regarding free time during the work day? You aren’t making sense.

6) Kiss and Ride? What?

+1 who are these weirdos equating packed lunch with snow plow parenting. My kid eats a sandwich, apple slices and gold fish every single day. Not fancy at all! But the school provided lunches are something even I as an adult would find hard to eat, and I am one of the least picky adults in my circle. Providing food your kid will eat is basic parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what the parents are calling anxiety is what I would call nervousness or situational anxiety. I think it is something everyone has. They would tell/email me that Larlo can't do x, y, z because it makes him anxious. Okay, me too. The kids all know their diagnosis too because some used it to try to get out of doing things they didn't want to do. I would tell them to clean up the art room before we left to go to gym. Some would just sit there and not do it. When I'd tell them they needed to help clean up, occasionally one would say, "My mom says if I'm feeling anxious, I should take a break." WTH? No.

99.8% of them have no such “diagnosis.”

The reality is you shouldn’t have to accommodate it and parents shouldn’t coddle it. Don’t let kids use these stupid labels as a crutch — it’s bad for them.

You sound extremely uneducated and uninformed.

I am a licensed counselor.

99.8% moron. Heal thyself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what the parents are calling anxiety is what I would call nervousness or situational anxiety. I think it is something everyone has. They would tell/email me that Larlo can't do x, y, z because it makes him anxious. Okay, me too. The kids all know their diagnosis too because some used it to try to get out of doing things they didn't want to do. I would tell them to clean up the art room before we left to go to gym. Some would just sit there and not do it. When I'd tell them they needed to help clean up, occasionally one would say, "My mom says if I'm feeling anxious, I should take a break." WTH? No.

99.8% of them have no such “diagnosis.”

The reality is you shouldn’t have to accommodate it and parents shouldn’t coddle it. Don’t let kids use these stupid labels as a crutch — it’s bad for them.

You sound extremely uneducated and uninformed.

I am a licensed counselor.

99.8% moron. Heal thyself.

DP. I am not a counselor, just a person with experience, but I agree with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I guess what the parents are calling anxiety is what I would call nervousness or situational anxiety. I think it is something everyone has. They would tell/email me that Larlo can't do x, y, z because it makes him anxious. Okay, me too. The kids all know their diagnosis too because some used it to try to get out of doing things they didn't want to do. I would tell them to clean up the art room before we left to go to gym. Some would just sit there and not do it. When I'd tell them they needed to help clean up, occasionally one would say, "My mom says if I'm feeling anxious, I should take a break." WTH? No.

99.8% of them have no such “diagnosis.”

The reality is you shouldn’t have to accommodate it and parents shouldn’t coddle it. Don’t let kids use these stupid labels as a crutch — it’s bad for them.

You sound extremely uneducated and uninformed.

I am a licensed counselor.

99.8% moron. Heal thyself.

DP. I am not a counselor, just a person with experience, but I agree with her.

Another DP who agrees with the counselor.

[Anonymous]

This must be the latest Munchausen by proxy trend that is replacing all the hip trans stuff now that the EU is publishing findings showing the adversity of puberty blockers and hormone treatment in children. Anxiety has a broader diagnosis so it can be more readily applied to the routine trappings of life in a household. I would imagine that it also allows parents to create excuses for their poor parenting because little Liam and Olivia have a mental health issue, so it not the parents' fault.