Husband is dying - no life insurance or savings, I’m a SAHM

Anonymous
Why do people keep talking about life insurance??? He doesn't have any!
Anonymous
Consult an estate lawyer, and a CPA
Anonymous
OP, I'd recommend some AlAnon meetings for you.
In my area 10 year olds qualify to go to AlAteen.
I'd recommend AlAteen for your kids as soon as they are old enough.

Alcoholics can live for years. Life span is difficult to predict.

Also be aware that your husband is at high risk of getting fired from the new job if he is hard core drinking like you say.

I'd try to get some kind of job and income going.

You also need a consult with a Divorce Attorney, an Estate Attorney, and a CPA.


Anonymous
What is happening to your husband is not unique sadly. I am so glad as a society we are finally looking at women's well being. In the process though we have completely ignored the crisis that is affecting so many men. Suicide, alcoholism chronic unemployment etc it's a crisis. Men are often blamed for what's happening to them. They are called lazy entitled sexist etc
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep talking about life insurance??? He doesn't have any!


OP said he had almost one year of salary in life insurance from his job. She didn't feel like that was much, but if he qualified as the sole breadwinner for a mortgage of over $700k, almost one year of salary is not nothing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP hasn't said how old the kids are, but HOPEFULLY, they are school-aged??

If so, that is going to help A LOT since OP is a teacher and the kids can be in school while she is working, and she'll be off work when they are out of school. That's a pretty big bonus for OP. If any are young enough to need daycare, then that is going to cost, but with the life insurance pay out, that'll cover a few years of child care.

OP, let's focus on the good:

1. you have a marketable skill!
2. your job will likely be very family-friendly for being a single-mom-head of household!
3. you have a little bit of time to think about where you will live. You said you have a house worth $1.3mil, but also you said you are separated. So, who is living in this house? That is going to have to be part of your "old life" -- the life that isn't sustainable. If you are in the house, you are going to need to sell it and move to a much smaller townhouse or nice condo. Fortunately, your kids are young enough that if you move relatively soon, they can adjust to their "new life" just fine and make connections and not be too affected by the down-sizing.

4. The kids will get some sort of Soc. Sec.

You can come out of this. You just need to start making a plan -- with or without the help of advisers. Put a plan on paper, and get your head around it now. Let go of what was.

Your life is going to be a lot different, but it's going to get better. Remember that. You are moving in the direction of a better life. You have resources and marketable skills. You aren't going to be a SAHM anymore. That was "old life." Onward to "new life."


Her OP said they are under 10.


Yes. I saw that. "Under 10" could mean all are IN school, or some are not.
Anonymous
Can you afford the house payments on your own? You may have to sell and buy something smaller, or rent. Sell one of the cars. Get a job now!
Anonymous
Is he really dying?
Anonymous
OP, the hiring cycle for teachers for fall is NOW, have you been actively looking?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, just to see a trusts and estates lawyer. This is not going to be that bad. If he can't work now, have dh apply for ssdi now.


+ 1 he should be insured for the Title 2 benefits that can be back paid. Substance use complicates things, but if it can be established that he would be disabled even if he stopped drinking (like organ damage is too far gone to reverse with sobriety) then he can get paid. Even if he dies, back payments can be made to the family/estate and there may be Medicaid eligibility.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can you afford the house payments on your own? You may have to sell and buy something smaller, or rent. Sell one of the cars. Get a job now!


This is a good question. I was originally team sell the house, but someone up-thread mentioned turning the basement into a rental. If there is a low interest rate on the house, then it may make more financial sense to stay put and try to bring in some extra money (even air bnb-ing) to help make the mortgage payments. And then there is an asset growing instead of renting a townhouse.
Anonymous
I am surprised you don’t have any life insurance other than the group policy from
work for a sole provider in poor health with 3 young kids and a large mortgage
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Consult an estate lawyer, and a CPA


Yes with what money? SAH wife who is here whining about her husband's mismanagement of their affairs. I love it when people throw these suggestions out .... retainer anyone?
Anonymous
I hate how everyone always attacks the wife when in situations like this. Have some empathy folks. Poor thing. I feel bad for you.
Anonymous
You just know that the mean (crazy?) people on here have more problems than OP.
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