Husband is dying - no life insurance or savings, I’m a SAHM

[Anonymous]

This is OP. We are separated. Does it make sense to go ahead and get divorced? Could that save me financially? That was actually my plan until his most recent hospitalization and then I felt guilty divorcing somebody who is dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We are separated. Does it make sense to go ahead and get divorced? Could that save me financially? That was actually my plan until his most recent hospitalization and then I felt guilty divorcing somebody who is dying.

There is nothing morally wrong with legally divorcing someone who is dying. Divorcing doesn't mean abandoning. You can still care for your partner during illness and, if necessary, hospice.
There are legal consequences like powr of attorney and hospital visitation rights, and fiancial/tax/debt consequences .You need legal advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His credit card debt is not yours which is a net positive. If he is truly about to pass, don’t pay off any credit card debt or even hospital bills.
They may come after the debt in the estate but I don’t think they can take your house over it. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.

Of course it is. They will come after the estate.

[Anonymous]

If you have $600 equity in the house I’m gonna assume it’s a big house. Sell that and buy something smaller. You need to get a job too.,

[Anonymous]

Do you have family who could take you in? If you sell the house, which is probably the right idea, there will be property gains tax.

[Anonymous]

how is the house titled? hopefully it's by the entirety or joint with right of survivorship? if not, you need to get that done RIGHT NOW.

bank accounts, are there any in your sole name? you need one, preferably at a bank that doesn't hold any of his debt.

bank accounts and retirement accounts that are solely in his name: need to have beneficiary/ transfer on death designated to be you.

joint accounts: set up transfer permissions in each to be able to transfer out to your sole bank account. set up all needed payees in new account for recurring bills (utilities/mortgage). transfer all funds to your sole acct before the death is reported to social security by the funeral home. (this may be done as a part of issuing the death cert.) many banks lock accounts that are reported to social security.

does he have a recent will? that needs to get done if not. intestate makes everything harder. you will be able to shield 64,000 in assets/belongings from a bankrupt estate on his death (family, homestead, elective allowance). if you need to get this done, also get a *durable power of attorney* notarized at the same time.

the cars will be very difficult to deal with as they are only in his name. if you have a DPOA, though, you can sell one or both back to the dealers before he dies.

where are you living now? if you can continue living there, then selling the house would give you breathing room. if the house is by the entirety or joint survivorship it will devolve to you outside the probate estate (can't be used to pay his private debts). the heloc is secured by the house and won't be discharged in death.

i'm sorry. good luck.

[Anonymous]

Just adding an option for income - can you tutor at all this summer? Even remotely? Or if you were and English teacher offer college essay tutoring. Both of these would have flexible hours and provide a decent hourly wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have family who could take you in? If you sell the house, which is probably the right idea, there will be property gains tax.

500k in gains can be excluded for married couples, she will have at least a year after his death to claim it.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you are the POD or beneficiary person on every retirement/investment/bank account that avoids estate stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't offer to pay any CC debt if it's solely in his name. That comes out of his estate and it sounds like he doesn't have much of one (if you're the beneficiary on his accounts they won't pass through the estate).

He has house equity and cars equity. Closing out his estate no way will she be able to keep house with substantial equity without paying off the house and helix. The only thing that is safe is her retirement and bank accounts solely in her name.

Was just about to post this..

[Anonymous]

If he dies and you’re still married, you can file for social security survivor benefits. It’s not taxable and will be around $700/kid/month till they are 19.

Find a widow support group or a legal center to get your plan of attack,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We are separated. Does it make sense to go ahead and get divorced? Could that save me financially? That was actually my plan until his most recent hospitalization and then I felt guilty divorcing somebody who is dying.

i don't think it makes sense. if he doesn't have a will and won't make one, intestate is much easier if there is a spouse. also you'd lose 250k of the gains exclusion on the house.

the credit card debt and any medical bills are unsecured and fall behind all other creditors to his estate.

mortgage and heloc: follow the house. are you on the title? if you are not on the title you definitely do not want to divorce.

car debt: secured by cars.

estate debt precedence:

family, homestead, default allowances: $64000 in assets to spouse/family
funeral costs
administrative costs
debts.

anything that is TOD/beneficiary transfers to you outside of probate. there's some chance that they'd try to come after funds from the life insurance but the ($55k?) in credit card debt can be legally told to pound sand. do not make any payments or talk to anyone about those accounts.

you'll need about 5-10 death certificates.

each child should receive social security survivors benefits until they turn 18 or graduate high school. each child should receive monthly payments of about 60% of what his social security benefit would be. as a spouse you'll receive a $255 one time payment. it'll take a few months to get it set up but the payments will be retroactive to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We are separated. Does it make sense to go ahead and get divorced? Could that save me financially? That was actually my plan until his most recent hospitalization and then I felt guilty divorcing somebody who is dying.

i don't think it makes sense. if he doesn't have a will and won't make one, intestate is much easier if there is a spouse. also you'd lose 250k of the gains exclusion on the house.

the credit card debt and any medical bills are unsecured and fall behind all other creditors to his estate.

mortgage and heloc: follow the house. are you on the title? if you are not on the title you definitely do not want to divorce.

car debt: secured by cars.

estate debt precedence:

family, homestead, default allowances: $64000 in assets to spouse/family
funeral costs
administrative costs
debts.

anything that is TOD/beneficiary transfers to you outside of probate. there's some chance that they'd try to come after funds from the life insurance but the ($55k?) in credit card debt can be legally told to pound sand. do not make any payments or talk to anyone about those accounts.

you'll need about 5-10 death certificates.

each child should receive social security survivors benefits until they turn 18 or graduate high school. each child should receive monthly payments of about 60% of what his social security benefit would be. as a spouse you'll receive a $255 one time payment. it'll take a few months to get it set up but the payments will be retroactive to death.

I'm not the op but thank you for taking the time to write this out for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he dies and you’re still married, you can file for social security survivor benefits. It’s not taxable and will be around $700/kid/month till they are 19.

Find a widow support group or a legal center to get your plan of attack,

Kids SS support will be given regardless if parents are married.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read to the end but when he dies, I think your kids get survivor benefits from the government. I disagree about work. You need to figure out a financial plan.