Would you cancel? Birthday dinner “dilemma”.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

Is your kid in middle school or high school?

Are you kidding? I see black teens at the mall all the time alone.

I guarantee you at least one of their parents is in the mall.

Why are you trying to make this into something racial when it has nothing to do with race?

Yes, there are black teenage troublemakers who are NOT supervised by their parents. This is a stupid point to argue about. Maybe those parents are not dropping a group off at a restaurant with a credit card.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. My 13yo eats out with his friends. When his older brother was 13, he didn’t. My 13yo mostly still got invited to sky zone, laser tag, go kart type birthday parties. He has not been invited to any just dinner birthdays. He has been to a basketball and baseball outing for birthdays and the family took boys out before the game and yes, the parents were also there.

On any given day, kids hang out at the mall and eat where they feel like it or walk somewhere to eat not supervised by parents besides transportation.

[Anonymous]

What happened, OP? Are you having the dinner?

[Anonymous]

I am dying for an update. If OP doesn't come back with one, I will personally show up at her house with a birthday gift for her kid to weasel my way into finding out what happened.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

Is your kid in middle school or high school?

Are you kidding? I see black teens at the mall all the time alone.

I guarantee you at least one of their parents is in the mall.

My kids black friends are allowed to do the same things mine do. Immigrant families seem to have different rules usually but most don’t even hang out with school friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

At 15, no parent would be supervising at a restaurant. They are dropped off with a way to pay and picked up later. Evites and parent coordination is not needed at 15 for birthdays.

My youngest is 13. Her recent party was at our house. She insisted on coordinating it all herself by text and I said she had to have it here because I didn’t know how many would actually show up. 13 is a little young for this. She invited 15 and 8 came. I told her to tell everyone their parents were welcome to contact me and not a single parent did. I didn’t know the parents and was hopeful any kids would actually show up.

I really hope one of the friends comes and your daughter has a nice dinner. If not, have coordinate something next time.

[Anonymous]

OP, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your DD. 🎂🥳🌻

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

The friend whose birthday dinner DD is going to tomorrow, is black. Her birthday when she turned 13 was the first time I encountered parents nowhere in the building while the kids were doing their thing.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened, OP? Are you having the dinner?

Nope, no one RSVP’d. I told her the two of us could go to dinner anywhere of her choosing, but she didn’t want to do that. I took her to get a manicure and pedicure that helped lift her spirits a bit.

[Anonymous]

I hope your DD has a nice evening and a Happy Birthday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

The friend whose birthday dinner DD is going to tomorrow, is black. Her birthday when she turned 13 was the first time I encountered parents nowhere in the building while the kids were doing their thing.