Would you cancel? Birthday dinner “dilemma”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It's called responsible parenting. Try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

Good lord. You're setting your kid up to be a social pariah. There was a girl who had parents like you in our group in high school. We did a slow fade on her because she interrogated everything we tried to do with her, whether it was hanging at the mall or going to a movie. Who was going to be there? What time would the event begin and end? Lady, I don't know. We're going to look at cheap jewelry at Claire's, laugh at the weird stuff at Hot Topic, and probably eat something gross like Taco Bell and Burger King. If various people are also at the mall and come talk to us, I can't control that.

Who is this “we” you are talking about?

I know that you can figure this out using context clues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

People need to stfu with speaking for every teen and parent. Not everyone does that.
I can imagine the kids texts. They would be like “ok I’m gonna say that it’s Beth’s birthday party and Beth will say it’s my birthday. We’ll have our clueless moms drop us off at the restaurant and we’ll meet Jeff and Sam there. Sam drives, we hang out at Sam’s house because his parents are away for the weekend. We figure out how to sleep at Sam’s later. “

That is not at all what I’m saying. The parents are informed of the plans, but aren’t the ones making them. It’s weird to send evites to parents about a 15 year old’s birthday party, instead of the birthday kid getting together with friends and with their parents separately to figure things out.

How it usually goes at our house is like this. Kid and parents figure out open Fridays/Saturdays/school holidays that would work for the dinner or bowling or whatever and a budget. Kid then texts/chats/meets in person with friends to figure out what works for the group collectively. Friends check with their parents during these discussions to make sure everything works for them as well, and to see if they’ll need rides. Once this is all sorted, kid informs host parents who then send out a group text confirming the details, offering rides, etc. At no point do parents send Evites to other parents. There is no need to RSVP because kid already knows who can come.

I just think that discussing how you do things is helpful. There are many reasons for doing it differently.

I had a surprise party for my 8th grader at a hotel where the 15 kids spent the night after going to a restaurant and swimming. I had to deal with the parents and some of them really suck.

You’re describing the average teen but it doesn’t describe every teen.

I wouldn't agree to this. The parents don't suck if they don't want their 15 year olds running wild i a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

All UMC white and Asian families do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

All UMC white and Asian families do this.

Like I said, it’s a cultural thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

All UMC white and Asian families do this.

Like I said, it’s a cultural thing.

What is cultural? It is cultural to have a birthday dinner with their friends? Do you have a teen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just did an evite for my tweens birthday in June. I didn’t realize this stopped at a certain point. If I’m hosting a party or dinner why wouldn’t still send some type of invitation?

OP these friends don’t sound like good friends which is a shame for your daughter. I think they’re making excuses. If they wanted to come they would have figured it out. Does she have other friends she could invite last minute or no?

My DS went to several 13 year old parties this year, and it was all done by evite to the parents. It’s honestly better because the kids can get mixed up with communication. Maybe by age 15 they don’t do that anymore. If it were just a small party I would text the parents directly.

Nah - parents aren’t communicating with other parents in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

People need to stfu with speaking for every teen and parent. Not everyone does that.
I can imagine the kids texts. They would be like “ok I’m gonna say that it’s Beth’s birthday party and Beth will say it’s my birthday. We’ll have our clueless moms drop us off at the restaurant and we’ll meet Jeff and Sam there. Sam drives, we hang out at Sam’s house because his parents are away for the weekend. We figure out how to sleep at Sam’s later. “

That is not at all what I’m saying. The parents are informed of the plans, but aren’t the ones making them. It’s weird to send evites to parents about a 15 year old’s birthday party, instead of the birthday kid getting together with friends and with their parents separately to figure things out.

How it usually goes at our house is like this. Kid and parents figure out open Fridays/Saturdays/school holidays that would work for the dinner or bowling or whatever and a budget. Kid then texts/chats/meets in person with friends to figure out what works for the group collectively. Friends check with their parents during these discussions to make sure everything works for them as well, and to see if they’ll need rides. Once this is all sorted, kid informs host parents who then send out a group text confirming the details, offering rides, etc. At no point do parents send Evites to other parents. There is no need to RSVP because kid already knows who can come.

I just think that discussing how you do things is helpful. There are many reasons for doing it differently.

I had a surprise party for my 8th grader at a hotel where the 15 kids spent the night after going to a restaurant and swimming. I had to deal with the parents and some of them really suck.

You’re describing the average teen but it doesn’t describe every teen.

I wouldn't agree to this. The parents don't suck if they don't want their 15 year olds running wild i a hotel.

They are just helicopter control freak parents. And yeah, they suck lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

Is your kid in middle school or high school?

Are you kidding? I see black teens at the mall all the time alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You think your 13 year old kid needs parental supervision to eat alone at Olive Garden???

Seriously?

It must be a cultural thing. No one in my circle would ever drop their 13 year old at a restaurant without some kind of supervision.

Cultural how? What do you think the kids would do that requires adult supervision?

We're South Asian. DD's friend group is Asian, bi-racial, black, and white. Every one of them (except one; her family life is a mess) has had birthday dinners at restaurants without parental supervision. Parents either turn up to pay, or give CC to the birthday child. The one she's going to tomorrow is similar; parents are involved in transportation, not much else.

I don’t know of any black, African, or Caribbean families that do this. Too many weirdos out there.

Is your kid in middle school or high school?

Are you kidding? I see black teens at the mall all the time alone.

I guarantee you at least one of their parents is in the mall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

How old is your kid? I would not do that without confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

Good lord. You're setting your kid up to be a social pariah. There was a girl who had parents like you in our group in high school. We did a slow fade on her because she interrogated everything we tried to do with her, whether it was hanging at the mall or going to a movie. Who was going to be there? What time would the event begin and end? Lady, I don't know. We're going to look at cheap jewelry at Claire's, laugh at the weird stuff at Hot Topic, and probably eat something gross like Taco Bell and Burger King. If various people are also at the mall and come talk to us, I can't control that.

You try to come across as cool, but you are a mean girl.

OP, your invitations were fine. Sounds like the parents of the kids/or the kids themselves, dropped the ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope your dd was able to connect with these girls at school today.
If not I wouldn’t cancel dinner but go elsewhere with her and maybe a movie. I take it you are in a lower income school. This type of stuff happens all the time. Make it clear you are paying.

Why do you assume a lower income school? Everyone else seems to think it’s a private.

Presume, not assume.
People with less money have more reason to turn down pricey events.

My teen has sports on Friday nights, sometimes other school commitments.

So what? Just RSVP NO for Fridays.