Would you cancel? Birthday dinner “dilemma”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just did an evite for my tweens birthday in June. I didn’t realize this stopped at a certain point. If I’m hosting a party or dinner why wouldn’t still send some type of invitation?

OP these friends don’t sound like good friends which is a shame for your daughter. I think they’re making excuses. If they wanted to come they would have figured it out. Does she have other friends she could invite last minute or no?

My DS went to several 13 year old parties this year, and it was all done by evite to the parents. It’s honestly better because the kids can get mixed up with communication. Maybe by age 15 they don’t do that anymore. If it were just a small party I would text the parents directly.

[Anonymous]

Another thought about Fridays. It is work day and some parents may not be able to drive. Offer to pick everyone up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just did an evite for my tweens birthday in June. I didn’t realize this stopped at a certain point. If I’m hosting a party or dinner why wouldn’t still send some type of invitation?

OP these friends don’t sound like good friends which is a shame for your daughter. I think they’re making excuses. If they wanted to come they would have figured it out. Does she have other friends she could invite last minute or no?

My DS went to several 13 year old parties this year, and it was all done by evite to the parents. It’s honestly better because the kids can get mixed up with communication. Maybe by age 15 they don’t do that anymore. If it were just a small party I would text the parents directly.

It seems to end in high school. In middle school, I still did evites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t the first girl speak English and translate?

I’d just wait it out at this point. You can still go with her.

Even though it’s tomorrow night? I just fear that we go and DD will feel embarrassed/heart broken if none of her friends show up.

Why aren’t you all driving together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope it works out somehow. I’m sorry the friends are being flaky and agree maybe the transportation is the issue. I’d go with her to dinner assuming none of the friends is going to make it, and if any of them show up it’ll be a bonus. Let us know what happens.

Happy Birthday to her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

Good lord. You're setting your kid up to be a social pariah. There was a girl who had parents like you in our group in high school. We did a slow fade on her because she interrogated everything we tried to do with her, whether it was hanging at the mall or going to a movie. Who was going to be there? What time would the event begin and end? Lady, I don't know. We're going to look at cheap jewelry at Claire's, laugh at the weird stuff at Hot Topic, and probably eat something gross like Taco Bell and Burger King. If various people are also at the mall and come talk to us, I can't control that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

Dude. Your kid is screwed if you infantize them. This is so out of the norm. Put a tracker on your kid and check up on them. Or accept your kid will never have friends because you can’t handle it.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

PP, I get it, but birthday gatherings at a restaurant don't need you to be Harriet the Spy. You've got to let things go. A parent doesn't need to supervise 15/16 year olds AT A RESTAURANT.

[Anonymous]

I hope your dd was able to connect with these girls at school today.
If not I wouldn’t cancel dinner but go elsewhere with her and maybe a movie. I take it you are in a lower income school. This type of stuff happens all the time. Make it clear you are paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope your dd was able to connect with these girls at school today.
If not I wouldn’t cancel dinner but go elsewhere with her and maybe a movie. I take it you are in a lower income school. This type of stuff happens all the time. Make it clear you are paying.

Why do you assume a lower income school? Everyone else seems to think it’s a private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was the Evite. Either you or your daughter get the girl's cells and send the time and place in a group chat and ask the girls to text RSVP by x date. Follow up on that date with anyone that hasn't.

My 15yo was invited to a birthday party this weekend via Evite. I had not RSVPd. Kid texted my kid and my kid told me to RSVP yes and I did.

Are these girls your daughter hangs out with regularly?

These are friends she just made this school year. Outside of school, she hasn’t had a chance to hang out with them.

These don't sound like close friends if they never get together outside of school. My guess is that these are "friendly" kids, not really friends. Why the Evite? 15 year olds don't do that. They text or message to coordinate date/time/place.

My 14 year old's friend has a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. The plans were made entirely between the kids, with no parental involvement, and through texts/messaging. Parents only get involved if someone needs a ride.

Why not? It’s been my experience that other parents want some kind of communication with another parent before dropping them off at their house or a venue for a party instead of going off of their kid’s word. I thought the Evite would be easy since it includes all the information the parents need.

Do you have teenagers? I absolutely just take my kid's word for it. YOu want me to drop you at Olive garden and come back in two hours? Okey dokey. I don't need to talk to Larla's mom.

That’s too hands off for me. Kid could be lying and that’s how trouble starts. I want to know with who and what parent is supervising for any outings, or any home visits, if any. YMMV.

You either trust your kid or you don’t. I wouldn’t think my kid is lying to me about going to dinner at a restaurant.