Which years “best” to be SAHM?

[Anonymous]

When they need you the most. That would be birth–5 years, but only if you have a lot of support, playgroups, activities. If not, then save those years for ES when the kids get sick and have schedules and activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly???

I own my own business and totally liberal but I would say ALL the years are best to be SAHM. Esp with 2+ kids!

Physically it's exhausting prior to age 5. It actually loosens up and I loved the 5-10 age but it is a lot of childcare esp during the week with school.

MS of 11-14 starts the hormones and active kids means a ton of carpools and driving. The weekends are almost non existent and working during the week sucks.

From HS on - you really need to be there for your kids unless they are perfect. I'm not talking about doing things for them and being around all the time but being accessible and aware of how they are doing. It's a lot of mental energy. From 11+ I would say that's the case. Also, any learning disabilities comes out for sure during MS years and any anxiety and mental health issues as well so there's that.

It is so hard to balance a career and parenting. Seriously. Esp a high powered career and for 2 parents to do that with multiple kids is something I've never seen done successfully.

I agree with you completely. My memories of all our adventures, my connection with them, all the help I’ve given them is all priceless.

[Anonymous]

I’m so curious about the middle school recommendations. My kids are in 7th and 9th. I agree the logistics are challenging (lots of activities) but my actual interactions with my kids are… not super engaging for either of us. It’s not like they come home from school and are eager to go explore the woods with me or otherwise hang out. I worked PT when they were younger and really enjoyed afternoons with them and LOVED all those baby/toddler snuggled. Now they pretty much just want me to make them snacks, which they are fully capable of doing themselves.

I guess I see an argument for not working to have someone around keeping them out of trouble but DH and I work at home so are generally around to quickly check in and keep them out of trouble. We talk over dinner and hanging out after so aren’t totally checked out. I apologized to my 9th grader the other day for not being around as much as I used to be (my job has gotten intense) and his response was “it’s alright mom. I mean, I really love you and all, but no offense, I’m not looking to hang out all afternoon.”

My advice to others is “whatever age seems most enjoyable to you”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so curious about the middle school recommendations. My kids are in 7th and 9th. I agree the logistics are challenging (lots of activities) but my actual interactions with my kids are… not super engaging for either of us. It’s not like they come home from school and are eager to go explore the woods with me or otherwise hang out. I worked PT when they were younger and really enjoyed afternoons with them and LOVED all those baby/toddler snuggled. Now they pretty much just want me to make them snacks, which they are fully capable of doing themselves.

I guess I see an argument for not working to have someone around keeping them out of trouble but DH and I work at home so are generally around to quickly check in and keep them out of trouble. We talk over dinner and hanging out after so aren’t totally checked out. I apologized to my 9th grader the other day for not being around as much as I used to be (my job has gotten intense) and his response was “it’s alright mom. I mean, I really love you and all, but no offense, I’m not looking to hang out all afternoon.”

My advice to others is “whatever age seems most enjoyable to you”

Completely agree and I was a longtime SAH and I now work PT only on school days and get home before the kids. Even when we do have deep conversations, they are always at bedtime or in the car. My kids are often at activities directly afterschool or come home from school only to turn around and head straight to the activity. I work PT to get all the housework and logistics done while keeping my sanity - my work schedule does not really change how much time I have with the kids.