I am so torn between having to work and caring for my sick daughter

[Anonymous]

I bet it’s somatic/psychilogical. H wants W to work more; W can’t say no directly and is subconsciously weaponizing her DD to become an excuse.
Finds a career she likes but DD has discovered her own “bonuses” now with her ailments plus W feels guilty and caters to DD too much.

[Anonymous]

I actually do not know if this is a troll post or a real post. The answer here is so obvious, at least after reading just the first post from the OP.

But assuming that this is a read post, I urge the OP to quit her job and be with her daughter.

I say this as a mom who has works full-time (and has one 15-year-old and two kids in college). (I was part-time when my kids were a little younger, but I have always had to work -- it was not a choice.)

You will not regret taking off the next 5-6 years from your career, and then just re-entering the workforce. Do it for the sake of your daughter. It honestly sounds like you should have done it long ago. But age 12 and the subsequent years are important years for the mom to be available.

[Anonymous]

That kind of absenteeism is a huge problem. Hasn't the school talked to you about it? You can't miss 20-30% of school

[Anonymous]

OP,
1.Buy an air filter for your child's room.
2.Get some Saline solution/gel or Netipot for her nose if you don't have them already.
3.Humidifier for her room.
4.Read about elderberry syrup and see if she can use it.
5.your child should not be missing so many days of school, I have a child who is allergic almost every grass and tree pollen and has asthma triggered by the allergies, we use a combination of the above

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is she staying home for just a sore throat? Take some cough drops and go to school!

This. A sore throat can be from dry air in the winter. Get a strep test after school. No reason to stay home unless diagnosed with strep or has a fever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

That is a cold. Not a reason to stay home.

[Anonymous]

This post is insulting to people who have kids who are actually ill. What is described are not reasons to be home this much.

You could not handle 2 kids. This has to be the most ridiculous post I have ever read.

At 12, there is no reason for your work to be interrupted when you are working from home.

I am floored. Your kid will not know how to handle adult life.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine that our pediatrician would allow this to go on. What does yours say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine that our pediatrician would allow this to go on. What does yours say?

A pediatrician does not allow or not allow things. What authority do they have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I realize that she is missing school too much. Unfortunately I cannot reduce my workload, because we need my income. We recently bought a house, and our mortgage is very high.

That’s why I suggested a medical leave. Presumably you have FMLA?

OP said she is self employed, so, no.

[Anonymous]

Such an obvious troll imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine that our pediatrician would allow this to go on. What does yours say?

A pediatrician does not allow or not allow things. What authority do they have?

Our pediatrician would have sat us down and said: this is too much sickness; it’s socially and emotionally damaging to miss this much school.

Either A: I am recommending this path of investigation by specialists or B. Let me suggest these standards for when the kid stays home and let’s get her or your anxiety treated.

Of course they’re not standing there enforcing dictates. My point is: I cannot picture our pediatrician knowing about this and just continuing to see our kid without addressing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s too much school for a 12 yo to be missing, period. I would take a medical leave and put all your time into finding out what is going on with her health… and then you can determine whether she needs more care than you can provide while working full-time.

I agree. You had her immunoglobulins tested? - signed parent of immunodeficiency kid

OP here. No, we haven't tested that. Thanks for the tip!

This is a good idea. Any hospital system can do this testing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A child missing that much school would be investigated by CPS for truancy.

What are these virus symptoms that require so much nursing care in a 12yr old? My 7 yr old can lay on the couch with a book and a bucket and let me get work done when he is puking.

Does she have anxiety? Do you two have some weird codependent dynamic where she can’t separate from you and/or you let her stay home at the smallest sniffle because you are subconsciously sabotaging your work?

This is why I think this is a troll. How could your child have missed 25 days of school already without a visit from a social worker? Something doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

Would recommend a course of daily vitamins as well