I am so torn between having to work and caring for my sick daughter

[Anonymous]

Have you looked into munchausen syndrome by proxy?

[Anonymous]

If you need to work, letting her be on screens most of the day is fine, especially if she doesn't feel well.

But if she's missing a day a week of school, so need to figure out what's wrong.

[Anonymous]

So neither you nor your husband (a DOCTOR) have thought to investigate why she gets sick so often.

You bought a house you can't afford without both your salaries knowing full well how her illnesses impact your careeer.

You are ruining your career because your daughter wants someone to talk to for the one to two days she stays home.

So much was handled poorly that I'm kind of flabbergasted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked into munchausen syndrome by proxy?

OP here. Please spare me.

[Anonymous]

She's 12. She doesn't need you to talk with her all day. Tell her "I have to work. You can listen to podcasts or do schoolwork so you're not behind. We can talk at 12:30 when I can take a half hour break for lunch."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 12. She doesn't need you to talk with her all day. Tell her "I have to work. You can listen to podcasts or do schoolwork so you're not behind. We can talk at 12:30 when I can take a half hour break for lunch."

+1

She is old enough to care for herself when mildly ill.

[Anonymous]

Check her vitamin D levels

[Anonymous]

If she is sick, she needs to be in her room in bed with no screens, resting. She can have a book with her as she feels better. A glass of water and some saltines by her bedside and you can go work.

Why are you entertaining her to keep her away from screens? Hard no.

She is playing you so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is sick, she needs to be in her room in bed with no screens, resting. She can have a book with her as she feels better. A glass of water and some saltines by her bedside and you can go work.

Why are you entertaining her to keep her away from screens? Hard no.

She is playing you so hard.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

If you are a family of three,
Rent that house, buy or rent a smaller house, home school your kid. She comes first.

[Anonymous]

I think screentime (only appropriate educational screentime) would be better.

Find high quality movies and documentaries and history shows. Make a playlist.

I do not think you need to regularly take time off work to amuse/console a sick child who is 12 years old. I appreciate that reading may bother her eyes or head. So intelligent screen use might actually teach her something.

Podcasts or long music recordings (Music Appreciation 101 style) might also work.

[Anonymous]

Your kid has been sick every week since she was 18 months old?? That doesn’t even seem possible. I hope you have a lot of doctors involved in sorting out why your child has been sick for 11 years straight.

[Anonymous]

Homeschooling. Then you and her are both at your work locations so she can do her lessons while you work and not be exposed with as many germs.

[Anonymous]

How is your husband a physician and you can’t afford a nanny? This is literally your only option. Or quit. I am not understanding the math here. Even a low paid physician makes $350+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a doctor and you haven’t taken her to an immunologist? I would have been there at age 5 if the illnesses are as frequent as you suggest.

OP here. You are right. It's crazy that I have to crowdsorce ideas on DCUM. My husband's general medical knowledge is quite poor. He is a dermatologist, but I'm not even sure if he is good even in his own specialty. For example, he claimed our daughter had rosacea on her nose, and I said that it was a mere sunburn. I was right.

Dermatologists are one of the highest paying specialists OP.

How high is your mortgage??

Something is not adding up. And your husband sounds like a jerk and/or a liar; how can he possibly expect you to work more if you have to take 1-2 days off A WEEK?? Why hasn’t he suggested getting a nanny? And what kind of dermatologist doesn’t have enough income to cover a high mortgage and a $50k nanny???