Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people like working. It gives them an identity and purpose apart from family life. It’s also empowering to earn money yourself. None of this disappears when children are born.

And if you grow apart later, it’s good to have a current skill set in case you have to support yourself again one day. It happens.

I understand this. I liked my job too and it gave me a sense of purpose, but I had to re-prioritize my goals ad staying in the workforce made it difficult for me to have to do everything.

This will sound much meaner over a post than if we were speaking. But I don’t mean it in a mean way. OP, everyone comes to the table with different skills and strengths and talents. Some women who stayed in the workforce had stronger skills in the workplace and homefront which allowed manage both more easily than you were able to.

NP, this is such an obnoxious viewpoint. My doctor mom would say the same thing. But after being raised by a go-getter, do it all-er, who felt vastly superior to stay at home mom’s, I chose to be a stay at home mom myself. My mom didn’t do it all, she just thought she did. I’m the one who suffered from her ambition and narcissism and chose not to inflict my children with the same. Get over yourself, you’re not managing as well as you think you are, unless you’re part time or your spouse stays with the kids. Nannies are not parents.

Very very similar boat here - I extremely intentionally chose not to emulate this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people like working. It gives them an identity and purpose apart from family life. It’s also empowering to earn money yourself. None of this disappears when children are born.

And if you grow apart later, it’s good to have a current skill set in case you have to support yourself again one day. It happens.

I understand this. I liked my job too and it gave me a sense of purpose, but I had to re-prioritize my goals ad staying in the workforce made it difficult for me to have to do everything.

This will sound much meaner over a post than if we were speaking. But I don’t mean it in a mean way. OP, everyone comes to the table with different skills and strengths and talents. Some women who stayed in the workforce had stronger skills in the workplace and homefront which allowed manage both more easily than you were able to.

NP, this is such an obnoxious viewpoint. My doctor mom would say the same thing. But after being raised by a go-getter, do it all-er, who felt vastly superior to stay at home mom’s, I chose to be a stay at home mom myself. My mom didn’t do it all, she just thought she did. I’m the one who suffered from her ambition and narcissism and chose not to inflict my children with the same. Get over yourself, you’re not managing as well as you think you are, unless you’re part time or your spouse stays with the kids. Nannies are not parents.

Very very similar boat here - I extremely intentionally chose not to emulate this

but what about your dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was able to work part time (about 12-16 hours) and spend time with my kid and keep my IT skills current. I also like my job and my team. I love my kid and lucky I was able to do bother.

If you had chosen to work 40 + hours a week would this mean you didn't love your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people like working. It gives them an identity and purpose apart from family life. It’s also empowering to earn money yourself. None of this disappears when children are born.

And if you grow apart later, it’s good to have a current skill set in case you have to support yourself again one day. It happens.

I understand this. I liked my job too and it gave me a sense of purpose, but I had to re-prioritize my goals ad staying in the workforce made it difficult for me to have to do everything.

This will sound much meaner over a post than if we were speaking. But I don’t mean it in a mean way. OP, everyone comes to the table with different skills and strengths and talents. Some women who stayed in the workforce had stronger skills in the workplace and homefront which allowed manage both more easily than you were able to.

NP, this is such an obnoxious viewpoint. My doctor mom would say the same thing. But after being raised by a go-getter, do it all-er, who felt vastly superior to stay at home mom’s, I chose to be a stay at home mom myself. My mom didn’t do it all, she just thought she did. I’m the one who suffered from her ambition and narcissism and chose not to inflict my children with the same. Get over yourself, you’re not managing as well as you think you are, unless you’re part time or your spouse stays with the kids. Nannies are not parents.

Did you also suffer from your dad's ambition? this why I hate the SAHM concept, because it seems that only women are expected to leave everything to raise their children.

Precisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was able to work part time (about 12-16 hours) and spend time with my kid and keep my IT skills current. I also like my job and my team. I love my kid and lucky I was able to do bother.

If you had chosen to work 40 + hours a week would this mean you didn't love your kid?

C'mon, you know that this isn't what she means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people like working. It gives them an identity and purpose apart from family life. It’s also empowering to earn money yourself. None of this disappears when children are born.

And if you grow apart later, it’s good to have a current skill set in case you have to support yourself again one day. It happens.

I understand this. I liked my job too and it gave me a sense of purpose, but I had to re-prioritize my goals ad staying in the workforce made it difficult for me to have to do everything.

This will sound much meaner over a post than if we were speaking. But I don’t mean it in a mean way. OP, everyone comes to the table with different skills and strengths and talents. Some women who stayed in the workforce had stronger skills in the workplace and homefront which allowed manage both more easily than you were able to.

NP, this is such an obnoxious viewpoint. My doctor mom would say the same thing. But after being raised by a go-getter, do it all-er, who felt vastly superior to stay at home mom’s, I chose to be a stay at home mom myself. My mom didn’t do it all, she just thought she did. I’m the one who suffered from her ambition and narcissism and chose not to inflict my children with the same. Get over yourself, you’re not managing as well as you think you are, unless you’re part time or your spouse stays with the kids. Nannies are not parents.

Your mother is a narcissist, therefore all other working mothers must be failing on the homefront? Okay got it! Poor critical thinking skills and it's unfortunate that you are mother who still is angry at her childhood. But we hear you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Are you and your family subsistence agriculturists by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Perhaps you should not open a thread asking working women why they prefer working? My guess is that you are never going to like the answer because your values are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Perhaps you should not open a thread asking working women why they prefer working? My guess is that you are never going to like the answer because your values are different.

I was interested in knowing what they had to say. That's all. I didn't know so many of them would be so arrogant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Are you and your family subsistence agriculturists by any chance?

I don't understand the question, why do you think we're farmers? Most families with SAHMs aren't farmers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their husbands aren’t checked out of family life the same way it sounds like your husband is. So they have more help.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Perhaps you should not open a thread asking working women why they prefer working? My guess is that you are never going to like the answer because your values are different.

I was interested in knowing what they had to say. That's all. I didn't know so many of them would be so arrogant.

I didn't find them arrogant at all. Seems like you and some others on here are uncomfortable with woman who are proud of their different choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM and so were many women in my family including myself. We're not less educated or less smart for what we've chose. We chose differently because we made family our priority, something that is hard when you work full time.

I'm grateful that women today have the option to go to work if they want to, but judging by their posts, many were led to believe that being a homemaker less than chasing money at some corporation. The smugness in this thread is baffling.

Are you and your family subsistence agriculturists by any chance?

I don't understand the question, why do you think we're farmers? Most families with SAHMs aren't farmers.

If you and your family aren't subsistence farmers then you have no place criticizing women for choosing a corporation over family. The only reason you can call yourself a "homemaker" it's because your husband is deprioritizing his family time to subsidize your lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

How it plays out depends on multiple factors: income of the DW staying home (ie does it make sense if you factor in the added costs of getting outside childcare etc), how involved/supportive DH is, whether one has family in area for emergencies/respite, flexibility of the job one has...

BUT, as a professional woman, I do resent the expectation that it is the woman who should give up her career once the kids arrive.

AND, I resent the sentiment of the women here that somehow they are better mothers because they stayed at home. Being SAHM does not mean your kids are better off than those whose mothers stayed working. I see plenty of problem children with SAHM.