Please give me suggestions of what a teens (14) wear for a bat mitzvah

[Anonymous]

The most important lesson to teach your teenage daughter is wear what everyone else is wearing. Just don’t be surprised when they use drugs, drink alcohol, and have sex just because everyone else is doing it.

[Anonymous]

https://www.sosweetboutique.com/p21195976/damas-de-vizcaya-by-morilee-9613.html

[Anonymous]

We found that in 7th grade, in the Fall (when the kids first start attending Bar/Bat Mitzvahs), the dresses were more modest. By spring, when they've already been to many, they get skimping, shorter, and have more cut outs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

None of the dresses are right on this thread.

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/un-deux-trois-kids-pleated-high-low-party-dress-big-kid/7204973?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=001

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ava-and-yelly-kids-high-low-party-dress-big-kid/7621121?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=401

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ava-and-yelly-kids-ruffle-satin-dress-big-kid/7507478?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=675

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/zunie-kids-lace-fit-flare-dress-big-girl/5836264?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=412

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ava-and-yelly-kids-mesh-insert-skater-dress-big-kid/6835369?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=001

These seem right to me. Not old lady, but not bodycon either, and are appropriate for a service. These are also the kinds of dresses I see girls wearing at music recitals and awards ceremonies.

These are for children! I can't imagine a 14 year old wearing one of them

My petite 14 year old wears these. They go up to size 16. It's actually much easier to find this type of stuff in the kids dept than the juniors dept, which is all body-con or cleavage showing, so I'm thankful my teen is small. For school dances, I don't have a problem with her wearing a body con dress, but bodycon seems inappropriate for any religious venue (and I'm not even religious).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most important lesson to teach your teenage daughter is wear what everyone else is wearing. Just don’t be surprised when they use drugs, drink alcohol, and have sex just because everyone else is doing it.

Because buying your teen a dress from Talbots to wear to a bat mitzvah is the answer to all the typical teen problems. Or they sneak the dress they want to wear in a bag and put it on after they get to the venue. But way to show her!

[Anonymous]

https://www.promgirl.com/products/andrea-and-leo-and-a1012-dress

[Anonymous]

https://www.promgirl.com/products/mac-duggal-mac-68029-dress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry girl moms, but a lot of the short skirt dresses look really trashy. Just like all the leggings that girls go around in to high school. I have a teen boy, and he comments a lot that the girls at his school dress poorly thinking they look good/sexy/flirty when they'd look much better in a less clingy outfit or a full sweater. And if I had a girl, I wouldn't buy her mid-thigh hem dresses. They are just too hard to sit in.

I do like the Nordstrom Rack dress that is high/low with the jeweled belt.

I sense that the divide here is between the moms who think their daughters are dressing fun and flirty and the rest of us who think we're wading through a sea of garbage fast fashion.

In particular, I know many women wish trendy dresses would go back to having sleeves. It's a pain to try and coordinate appropriately matching shrugs/cardigans/etc. to go stylishly with the all too common sleeveless dresses. Same problem applies to many of these occasion dresses suggested for teens. Have to find that topper that works with the bust size and also works correctly with the dress's waist so the line's not spoiled. More wasted time for mom.

You don't have a teen DD. Until you do, your opinion on this matter is irrelevant. And you have no idea what you'd do.

Are these girls dressing for themselves? Get real, girl mom! We were both teens once. Who tells them these dresses are in fashion? Who tells them they look pretty? Teens buy what the stores stock without thinking about it and to fit in. A lot of this stuff brings two words to mind: "Inappropriately sexualized". And girl moms are enabling it. So many of these dresses are flimsy junk.

I have a pretty good idea of what I'd do. Just like my mom did. I had a miniskirt in high school but I wasn't allowed to have any tube tops. Also, my mom was more conservative but now I can look back at my high school pictures and think how nicely dressed I was for the time instead of "so cringe". My mom taught me early that trendy fashion doesn't have to be a big part of your value as a woman. Also that it's appropriate to go more modest when visiting a religious building. It doesn't matter what you can get away with, or what other people do, it's about respecting the norms of the congregation you are visiting.

I went to the service part of a Bar Mitzvah 2 years ago out here in flyover country and none of the girls were wearing bodycon dresses or anything skimpy. I did not attend the party. Millionaire family, reform synagogue.

[Anonymous]

https://stellamlia.com/collections/bat-mitzvah-dresses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry girl moms, but a lot of the short skirt dresses look really trashy. Just like all the leggings that girls go around in to high school. I have a teen boy, and he comments a lot that the girls at his school dress poorly thinking they look good/sexy/flirty when they'd look much better in a less clingy outfit or a full sweater. And if I had a girl, I wouldn't buy her mid-thigh hem dresses. They are just too hard to sit in.

I do like the Nordstrom Rack dress that is high/low with the jeweled belt.

I sense that the divide here is between the moms who think their daughters are dressing fun and flirty and the rest of us who think we're wading through a sea of garbage fast fashion.

In particular, I know many women wish trendy dresses would go back to having sleeves. It's a pain to try and coordinate appropriately matching shrugs/cardigans/etc. to go stylishly with the all too common sleeveless dresses. Same problem applies to many of these occasion dresses suggested for teens. Have to find that topper that works with the bust size and also works correctly with the dress's waist so the line's not spoiled. More wasted time for mom.

You don't have a teen DD. Until you do, your opinion on this matter is irrelevant. And you have no idea what you'd do.

Are these girls dressing for themselves? Get real, girl mom! We were both teens once. Who tells them these dresses are in fashion? Who tells them they look pretty? Teens buy what the stores stock without thinking about it and to fit in. A lot of this stuff brings two words to mind: "Inappropriately sexualized". And girl moms are enabling it. So many of these dresses are flimsy junk.

I have a pretty good idea of what I'd do. Just like my mom did. I had a miniskirt in high school but I wasn't allowed to have any tube tops. Also, my mom was more conservative but now I can look back at my high school pictures and think how nicely dressed I was for the time instead of "so cringe". My mom taught me early that trendy fashion doesn't have to be a big part of your value as a woman. Also that it's appropriate to go more modest when visiting a religious building. It doesn't matter what you can get away with, or what other people do, it's about respecting the norms of the congregation you are visiting.

I went to the service part of a Bar Mitzvah 2 years ago out here in flyover country and none of the girls were wearing bodycon dresses or anything skimpy. I did not attend the party. Millionaire family, reform synagogue.

I attended a friend's kid's Bat Mitzvah, but have no child that age of my own. Every girl...I mean every girl...was wearing the uniform of short skirt/dress and nike ponies (not sure why they all had ponies vs. Converse). Most of the girls were members of the congregation. Seemed like they all kept their winter jackets on during the service, so maybe that was their way of showing modesty during the religious service.

Interesting, the Bat Mitzvah girl herself had a more modest knee length dress...yet her mother told me she wears the other outfits for her friends' Bat Mitzvahs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 on short tight dresses. Wear with sneakers. This is what EVERY girl does. My daughter went to one last night and some ever wore off the shoulder sweatshirts over the dresses when it got dark.

I know that's common, but I went to 4 of these things last year and never saw that. Of course, they were daytime parties, so maybe that's why. It was more fit and flare and sheath dresses. Very fashionable and pretty, neither particularly modest nor revealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on short tight dresses. Wear with sneakers. This is what EVERY girl does. My daughter went to one last night and some ever wore off the shoulder sweatshirts over the dresses when it got dark.

I know that's common, but I went to 4 of these things last year and never saw that. Of course, they were daytime parties, so maybe that's why. It was more fit and flare and sheath dresses. Very fashionable and pretty, neither particularly modest nor revealing.

It was because they were daytime parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- My child had a Bat Mitzvah this year and we have been to a lot. This thread is terrible- people are making things up or do not have teen girls or have not been to actual Bat Mitzvahs.

Like it or not, kids are wearing short, tight dresses. You can get one that is not quite as short or quite as tight (size up, or slight Aline on short dress), so it looks less skimpy. But that is what the majority of the kids are wearing.

Some posters are posting from Nordstrom Kids dept- that is fine if you have an early 7th grade 12 year old. OP said her daughter is 14!

This type of thing is what most girls wear to Bat Mitzvahs (like it or not, this is what they wear, and they where cute sneakers like Nikes with the dress, little sweater over it for service). Mine always wear little bike shorts under the dress. The ones that wear dresses like in some of the early links look ridiculous.

https://www.dillards.com/p/gb-square-neck-linen-mini-dress/516286773

https://www.dillards.com/p/b.-darlin-one-shoulder-ruched-side-bodycon-dress/512639722

Katie J is very trendy, you can size up to have the dress not be as short (but these are pricier than Dillards/Macys):

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-maddy-sequin-dress-big-kid?ID=4490784&CategoryID=3866

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-ava-dress-big-kid?ID=4091572&CategoryID=3866

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-tween-scarlett-nylon-stretch-ruched-party-dress-big-kid?ID=4951862&CategoryID=3866

If you want less tight:
https://www.dillards.com/p/gb-textured-sleeveless-wrap-dress/513070804

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-cali-crepe-party-dress-big-kid?ID=4200428&CategoryID=3866

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/city-studios-juniors-double-strap-v-neck-skater-dress?ID=16287072

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/crystal-doll-juniors-tulle-sleeve-a-line-dress?ID=16540472&tdp=cm_app~zMCOM-NAVAPP~xcm_zone~zPDP_ZONE_A~xcm_choiceId~zcidM05RUB-323dbc55-2cb3-47bc-9e63-38108a5e9197%40HDI%40Others%2Byou%2Bmay%2Blike%2418109%2416540472~xcm_pos~zPos2~xcm_srcCatID~z18109

For morning service, without party right after:
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/katiejnyc-girls-molly-long-sleeve-dress-big-kid?ID=4452984&CategoryID=3866

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/bcx-juniors-flutter-sleeve-tiered-skirt-a-line-dress?ID=17350481

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/speechless-juniors-square-neck-mesh-tiered-skirt-dress?ID=17262326

Are you crazy? They’re 14 not 24!

I am PP- You will note that many of these are in the Children's section of Bloomingdales. Like it or not, this is what kids are wearing. (I have a 13 year old). The difference is I make sure for my kids the dress goes down a little lower on her legs (as in fully covers her butt) and doesn't have tons of cut outs like some of the homecoming prom dresses for high school seniors these days. Those are even skimpier! And 14 year olds can be in 9th grade, which is high school, not elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on short tight dresses. Wear with sneakers. This is what EVERY girl does. My daughter went to one last night and some ever wore off the shoulder sweatshirts over the dresses when it got dark.

I know that's common, but I went to 4 of these things last year and never saw that. Of course, they were daytime parties, so maybe that's why. It was more fit and flare and sheath dresses. Very fashionable and pretty, neither particularly modest nor revealing.

It was because they were daytime parties.

So what is the proper time to change into hoochie training dresses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry girl moms, but a lot of the short skirt dresses look really trashy. Just like all the leggings that girls go around in to high school. I have a teen boy, and he comments a lot that the girls at his school dress poorly thinking they look good/sexy/flirty when they'd look much better in a less clingy outfit or a full sweater. And if I had a girl, I wouldn't buy her mid-thigh hem dresses. They are just too hard to sit in.

I do like the Nordstrom Rack dress that is high/low with the jeweled belt.

I sense that the divide here is between the moms who think their daughters are dressing fun and flirty and the rest of us who think we're wading through a sea of garbage fast fashion.

In particular, I know many women wish trendy dresses would go back to having sleeves. It's a pain to try and coordinate appropriately matching shrugs/cardigans/etc. to go stylishly with the all too common sleeveless dresses. Same problem applies to many of these occasion dresses suggested for teens. Have to find that topper that works with the bust size and also works correctly with the dress's waist so the line's not spoiled. More wasted time for mom.

You don't have a teen DD. Until you do, your opinion on this matter is irrelevant. And you have no idea what you'd do.

Are these girls dressing for themselves? Get real, girl mom! We were both teens once. Who tells them these dresses are in fashion? Who tells them they look pretty? Teens buy what the stores stock without thinking about it and to fit in. A lot of this stuff brings two words to mind: "Inappropriately sexualized". And girl moms are enabling it. So many of these dresses are flimsy junk.

I have a pretty good idea of what I'd do. Just like my mom did. I had a miniskirt in high school but I wasn't allowed to have any tube tops. Also, my mom was more conservative but now I can look back at my high school pictures and think how nicely dressed I was for the time instead of "so cringe". My mom taught me early that trendy fashion doesn't have to be a big part of your value as a woman. Also that it's appropriate to go more modest when visiting a religious building. It doesn't matter what you can get away with, or what other people do, it's about respecting the norms of the congregation you are visiting.

I went to the service part of a Bar Mitzvah 2 years ago out here in flyover country and none of the girls were wearing bodycon dresses or anything skimpy. I did not attend the party. Millionaire family, reform synagogue.

I attended a friend's kid's Bat Mitzvah, but have no child that age of my own. Every girl...I mean every girl...was wearing the uniform of short skirt/dress and nike ponies (not sure why they all had ponies vs. Converse). Most of the girls were members of the congregation. Seemed like they all kept their winter jackets on during the service, so maybe that was their way of showing modesty during the religious service.

Interesting, the Bat Mitzvah girl herself had a more modest knee length dress...yet her mother told me she wears the other outfits for her friends' Bat Mitzvahs.

This is interesting.

Did the winter jackets look stupid with the dresses? Sounds like outerwear...like puffer over a satin sheath...suggests a maladapted fashion strategy.

Of course the Bat Mitzvah girl needed to dress the most appropriately. To show respect. And clothes that cover a little more usually work better for standing, sitting, and public speaking. Unless one is a professional spokesmodel. In which case, bring on the sequined satin sheath...