How do deal with 17YO DD having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn

And teens are super fertile because this is when their eggs and sperm are the healthiest and centuries ago all 17yr olds were moms by now.

But the fact is, extremely fertile means extremely horny. I mean would you rather her sleep with a new guy every weekend? She clearly enjoys sex as do most teens (male and female) It’s pleasurable. She seems honest about her intentions. Why are shaming her? I had a boyfriend at 17yr old and we were like rabbits. LOL

+1

And it was some of the best. Just passionate:

If teenage sex was some of the best, then you’ve definitely been missing out. Certainly it can be good, especially once you get the hang of it and move past any insecurities. But best…

How can teenage sex be so good when women apparently aren't figuring out how to orgasm until they're in their thirties?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

I'm a gen x'r and I think kids are different these days, but I had plenty of sex in high school. And I don't think any of my high school friends weren't having sex. We all were. A lot.

I'm GenX and neither I nor my friends had sex in high school. None of us even dated.
People are all different and it's pointless to say "most" this or "most that". If your teenager is having sex, just make sure they're protecting themselves.

You realize by saying my friends and I didn’t even date in high school that you are in a small minority. So it means nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

DOUBLE birth control. Teens are super fertile. Any birth control has a 1-5% failure rate with perfect use.

signed,
ob/gyn

And teens are super fertile because this is when their eggs and sperm are the healthiest and centuries ago all 17yr olds were moms by now.

But the fact is, extremely fertile means extremely horny. I mean would you rather her sleep with a new guy every weekend? She clearly enjoys sex as do most teens (male and female) It’s pleasurable. She seems honest about her intentions. Why are shaming her? I had a boyfriend at 17yr old and we were like rabbits. LOL

+1

And it was some of the best. Just passionate:

If teenage sex was some of the best, then you’ve definitely been missing out. Certainly it can be good, especially once you get the hang of it and move past any insecurities. But best…

How can teenage sex be so good when women apparently aren't figuring out how to orgasm until they're in their thirties?

Oh I was definitely reaching hard by 18yrs old. I would have cried if it took until my 30’s. I think it really depends on the girl and her securities and who she is with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is ever having as much sex as people think. Sexually active kids think everyone else is f--cking, but statistically it's just not true. Not now, and not in the 80s when I was in high school.

Just as in adulthood, every therapist talks about how every single one of their clients thinks that everyone else is having more sex than them. Married couples are having sex like twice a week at most, and many aren't doing it for weeks or months or years. Singles are having sex even less, despite what marrieds think.

72% of 17yr olds have had sex at least once. That’s the majority

[Anonymous]

Can’t do anything about it other than make sure she has access to birth control and condoms.

Have you taught her about safe sex? Not only avoiding STIs and unwanted pregnancy but about consent (on both ends)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

They aren’t. The most recent CDC study shows only 30% of teens 13-17 had sex: https://nccd.cdc.gov/Youthonline/App/Results.aspx?TT=A&OUT=0&SID=HS&QID=QQ&LID=XX&YID=2021&LID2=&YID2=&COL=S&ROW1=N&ROW2=N&HT=QQ&LCT=LL&FS=S1&FR=R1&FG=G1&FA=A1&FI=I1&FP=P1&FSL=S1&FRL=R1&FGL=G1&FAL=A1&FIL=I1&FPL=P1&PV=&TST=False&C1=&C2=&QP=G&DP=1&VA=CI&CS=Y&SYID=&EYID=&SC=DEFAULT&SO=ASC

As a parent I’m much more concerned about the use of contraception than the intercourse stats here.

(FWIW, I didn’t have sex until I was 20)

You are pulling a study of 13-17yr olds (huge range) and comparing it to all 17yr olds? You also know those numbers regardless are lower as they say 10-15% will still lie, even on anonymous surveys.

Yes, most 17yr olds are having sex.

It’s like, 50/50 for 17 year olds according to the most recent CDC data that breaks it down by age (2015-2017) and we know overall rates have went down since then so it’s probably less than 50% at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is ever having as much sex as people think. Sexually active kids think everyone else is f--cking, but statistically it's just not true. Not now, and not in the 80s when I was in high school.

Just as in adulthood, every therapist talks about how every single one of their clients thinks that everyone else is having more sex than them. Married couples are having sex like twice a week at most, and many aren't doing it for weeks or months or years. Singles are having sex even less, despite what marrieds think.

72% of 17yr olds have had sex at least once. That’s the majority

Where did you find that stat? That is WAY off.

By age 15, 21% of young females aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 53% of young females, and by age 20, 79% of young females had ever had sexual intercourse.
By age 15, 20% of young males aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 48% of young males, and by age 20, 77% of young males had ever had sexual intercourse.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db366.htm#:~:text=By%20age%2017%2C%20this%20increased,had%20ever%20had%20sexual%20intercourse.

This is an older survey and since then the numbers have continued to decrease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is ever having as much sex as people think. Sexually active kids think everyone else is f--cking, but statistically it's just not true. Not now, and not in the 80s when I was in high school.

Just as in adulthood, every therapist talks about how every single one of their clients thinks that everyone else is having more sex than them. Married couples are having sex like twice a week at most, and many aren't doing it for weeks or months or years. Singles are having sex even less, despite what marrieds think.

72% of 17yr olds have had sex at least once. That’s the majority

Where did you find that stat? That is WAY off.

By age 15, 21% of young females aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 53% of young females, and by age 20, 79% of young females had ever had sexual intercourse.
By age 15, 20% of young males aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 48% of young males, and by age 20, 77% of young males had ever had sexual intercourse.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db366.htm#:~:text=By%20age%2017%2C%20this%20increased,had%20ever%20had%20sexual%20intercourse.

This is an older survey and since then the numbers have continued to decrease.

Most of the posters on this board are women and sexist double standards being what they are, women who were having sex in high school want to pretend that everyone was. But statistically, they were a minority and teenagers are having less and less sex every year.

I didn't have sex until college but often wish I'd started earlier. So there's certainly no judgment coming from me toward women who were getting laid in their teens. It doesn't make them a majority though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really need to get over the ridiculous misogynistic vestiges of Puritanism.

There is nothing wrong with consensual, safe sex in this kind of relationship if the level of commitment works for both people.

k

Not even adults. Kids having sex. Gross

You may think of a 17 year old as a kid, but they have fully formed bodies, pubic hair, and are capable of conceiving and bearing children. Reproductively they are adults.

And? Twelve year olds also have pubic hair and are capable of conceiving and bearing children.
Of course 17 year olds having sex is not as concerning as 12 year olds having sex, but they're still children and it's still not ideal, even if we can't do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

Have not read replies but hopefully the need to get your daughter seen by good gynecologist to check for STDs and get IUD inserted has been mentioned.

I would also advise DD to always use condoms to protect against STDs on top of getting an IUD.

Hormonal IUDs are the number one recommendation of birth control by American pediatric association as teens often forget to take daily oral tablets.

Once health and safety needs are addressed, I would try to talk to DD about the dangers of casual sex for devaluing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found out that DD is having sex with a boy but they are not in a relationship since neither wants to get serious due to going away to college next year. I’m having a really hard time letting her hang out with this kid because I know they have having sex. I know they are being careful but it goes against my morals and I’m honestly just disgusted by the thought of this. How can I get over it and am I to simply allow them to hang out (Obviously not in my house)! Any advise for me?

Have not read replies but hopefully the need to get your daughter seen by good gynecologist to check for STDs and get IUD inserted has been mentioned.

I would also advise DD to always use condoms to protect against STDs on top of getting an IUD.

Hormonal IUDs are the number one recommendation of birth control by American pediatric association as teens often forget to take daily oral tablets.

Once health and safety needs are addressed, I would try to talk to DD about the dangers of casual sex for devaluing yourself.

What kind of sexist BS is this? Does anyone talk to teen boys about devaluing themselves? It’s 2023 and if teen girls choose to have sex with a guy and doesn’t want a serious commitment, that is OK. Can we stop shaming girls and touting guys for enjoying sex?

I mean she is off to college in 6 months. Did you all only have sex in committed relationships then? Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, that sounds kind of healthy and mature?

When I was 17, it was much more "no, we're in love and we're going to make this work long distance even though we're going to different schools."

Which we kind of all new wasn't true, but we all said it anyway so we could have sex

How is this healthy or mature?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that “most” 17 year olds are having sex? So interesting - I had a few boyfriends in HS but just really wasn’t ready until college (freshman year). No judgment - I would be fine with my kids being sexually active at 17 but I guess I didn’t realize that the *majority* of HS junior and seniors are sexually active.

People overestimate. It’s like 50percent. And that’s across the country. I don’t think an overwhelming majority of kids are having sex in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is ever having as much sex as people think. Sexually active kids think everyone else is f--cking, but statistically it's just not true. Not now, and not in the 80s when I was in high school.

Just as in adulthood, every therapist talks about how every single one of their clients thinks that everyone else is having more sex than them. Married couples are having sex like twice a week at most, and many aren't doing it for weeks or months or years. Singles are having sex even less, despite what marrieds think.

72% of 17yr olds have had sex at least once. That’s the majority

Where did you find that stat? That is WAY off.

By age 15, 21% of young females aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 53% of young females, and by age 20, 79% of young females had ever had sexual intercourse.
By age 15, 20% of young males aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 48% of young males, and by age 20, 77% of young males had ever had sexual intercourse.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db366.htm#:~:text=By%20age%2017%2C%20this%20increased,had%20ever%20had%20sexual%20intercourse.

This is an older survey and since then the numbers have continued to decrease.

Most of the posters on this board are women and sexist double standards being what they are, women who were having sex in high school want to pretend that everyone was. But statistically, they were a minority and teenagers are having less and less sex every year.

I didn't have sex until college but often wish I'd started earlier. So there's certainly no judgment coming from me toward women who were getting laid in their teens. It doesn't make them a majority though.

You think teenagers are having less sex??? I think it is the opposite.

I feel I was last and I started at 18. This was back in the nineties.

I guess it depends on your kid. If you have a social good looking teen, they will probably have opposite sex kids liking them. If your kid is not very attractive, s/he may not have much interest. Same for adults whether they are 20 or 30 or 40.

I hung out with a lot of cute boy in high school. It was hard to keep your hands off one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is ever having as much sex as people think. Sexually active kids think everyone else is f--cking, but statistically it's just not true. Not now, and not in the 80s when I was in high school.

Just as in adulthood, every therapist talks about how every single one of their clients thinks that everyone else is having more sex than them. Married couples are having sex like twice a week at most, and many aren't doing it for weeks or months or years. Singles are having sex even less, despite what marrieds think.

72% of 17yr olds have had sex at least once. That’s the majority

Where did you find that stat? That is WAY off.

By age 15, 21% of young females aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 53% of young females, and by age 20, 79% of young females had ever had sexual intercourse.
By age 15, 20% of young males aged 15–24 had ever had sexual intercourse. By age 17, this increased to 48% of young males, and by age 20, 77% of young males had ever had sexual intercourse.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db366.htm#:~:text=By%20age%2017%2C%20this%20increased,had%20ever%20had%20sexual%20intercourse.

This is an older survey and since then the numbers have continued to decrease.

Most of the posters on this board are women and sexist double standards being what they are, women who were having sex in high school want to pretend that everyone was. But statistically, they were a minority and teenagers are having less and less sex every year.

I didn't have sex until college but often wish I'd started earlier. So there's certainly no judgment coming from me toward women who were getting laid in their teens. It doesn't make them a majority though.

You think teenagers are having less sex??? I think it is the opposite.

I feel I was last and I started at 18. This was back in the nineties.

I guess it depends on your kid. If you have a social good looking teen, they will probably have opposite sex kids liking them. If your kid is not very attractive, s/he may not have much interest. Same for adults whether they are 20 or 30 or 40.

I hung out with a lot of cute boy in high school. It was hard to keep your hands off one another.

Such a weird comment. Still stuck in your HS years