How do deal with 17YO DD having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

Which immigrants because middle eastern, European, South American, and African all have more laxed issues than USA

Ah, yes. “The Middle East” is known for its relaxed views on casual sex. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

The only possible protection from STDs comes from either condoms or abstinence (and the latter ship has sailed). So, condoms it is.

But, you need to also provide water-based lubricant. A major cause of condom failure is lack of lubrication.

Too many parents forget this crucial ingredient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of friends in their late twenties and early thirties who did not lose their virginity that long ago and were stunned to learn that so many teenagers are sexually active. Mostly immigrants, but still.
"Everyone" is NOT banging the moment they start college.

Which immigrants because middle eastern, European, South American, and African all have more laxed issues than USA

Ah, yes. “The Middle East” is known for its relaxed views on casual sex. 🙄

ROFL.

If only these posters knew how South Asian and Middle Eastern parents brainwash their children on this topic..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Birth control, birth control, birth control.
Plus, has condoms to give the boy, on top of other birth control.

The only possible protection from STDs comes from either condoms or abstinence (and the latter ship has sailed). So, condoms it is.

But, you need to also provide water-based lubricant. A major cause of condom failure is lack of lubrication.

Too many parents forget this crucial ingredient.

No teen needs lube if you teach the boy about proper foreplay. I was like a fire hydrant in my teens.

[Anonymous]

Morals doesn't matter here as OP obviously tried teaching her morals to her daughter for 17 years and there is nothing that can be done at this point so its a moot point.

Legality may play a role as kid is a minor and if the boy is 18+, probably OP can use that point to warn.

That being said, majority of 17 year olds fool around but not many (at least the driven ones) are having kind of sex which can lead to pregnancy, abortion or parenthood.

OP can get her an appointment with an OBGYN for some protection and education.

[Anonymous]

She's already having sex, your only option is to make sure she's being safe and responsible about it. There's no putting the genie back in the bottle here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Morals doesn't matter here as OP obviously tried teaching her morals to her daughter for 17 years and there is nothing that can be done at this point so its a moot point.

Legality may play a role as kid is a minor and if the boy is 18+, probably OP can use that point to warn.

That being said, majority of 17 year olds fool around but not many (at least the driven ones) are having kind of sex which can lead to pregnancy, abortion or parenthood.

OP can get her an appointment with an OBGYN for some protection and education.

So you are saying 17yr olds who have sex have no morals? Does this apply to boys and girls?

Do you hear yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Morals doesn't matter here as OP obviously tried teaching her morals to her daughter for 17 years and there is nothing that can be done at this point so its a moot point.

Legality may play a role as kid is a minor and if the boy is 18+, probably OP can use that point to warn.

That being said, majority of 17 year olds fool around but not many (at least the driven ones) are having kind of sex which can lead to pregnancy, abortion or parenthood.

OP can get her an appointment with an OBGYN for some protection and education.

Cite your sources please? What constitutes most kids, what constitutes driven kids, and what constitutes the kind of sex that leads to pregnancy?

I mean are we saying a girl with a 4.0 GPA giving BJ’s or having anal every weekend is ok, but OP’s daughter who went to her mother about protection from having vaginal sex with the same guy is different. Is worse? Can a star athlete eat a different girl out and get a hand job after practice each week? Is that ok like moral wise if they are “driven”

Help me understand your rationales and please enlighten me on when you can vaginal sex but also still have morals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s great she came to you and I loved the empowerment of not wanting to be in a serious relationship that will prob end bad anyway. Not sure why you are upset. This is normal for this age. Covid and social media slowed things down a bit, but it’s getting back to normal. You don’t want a strange homebody introvert before they go off to college. Embrace her for her honesty and staying safe.

Mom of teens and high school English teacher.

Actually, it's not "normal" i.e. common. Having sex is common, but having no strings attached sex is not nearly as common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s great she came to you and I loved the empowerment of not wanting to be in a serious relationship that will prob end bad anyway. Not sure why you are upset. This is normal for this age. Covid and social media slowed things down a bit, but it’s getting back to normal. You don’t want a strange homebody introvert before they go off to college. Embrace her for her honesty and staying safe.

Mom of teens and high school English teacher.

Actually, it's not "normal" i.e. common. Having sex is common, but having no strings attached sex is not nearly as common.

So you think the only or even most teens having sex are only in long term monogamous relationships?

[Anonymous]

OP, not only does this sound very normal, but 17 is pretty late on first time sex. Not sure why you are disappointed. Be grateful she is so open with you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, not only does this sound very normal, but 17 is pretty late on first time sex. Not sure why you are disappointed. Be grateful she is so open with you

It is not pretty late. I did an informal poll of a few dozen people I know since this thread started and the earliest was 16. Range was 16-25 with most being around 19/20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s great she came to you and I loved the empowerment of not wanting to be in a serious relationship that will prob end bad anyway. Not sure why you are upset. This is normal for this age. Covid and social media slowed things down a bit, but it’s getting back to normal. You don’t want a strange homebody introvert before they go off to college. Embrace her for her honesty and staying safe.

Mom of teens and high school English teacher.

Actually, it's not "normal" i.e. common. Having sex is common, but having no strings attached sex is not nearly as common.

So you think the only or even most teens having sex are only in long term monogamous relationships?

most teens who have sex have it in the context of a relationship. even if it's not actually monogamous it is pretending to be. the kind of no strings attached sex OP is describing is not common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, not only does this sound very normal, but 17 is pretty late on first time sex. Not sure why you are disappointed. Be grateful she is so open with you

no. it's about average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Morals doesn't matter here as OP obviously tried teaching her morals to her daughter for 17 years and there is nothing that can be done at this point so its a moot point.

Legality may play a role as kid is a minor and if the boy is 18+, probably OP can use that point to warn.

That being said, majority of 17 year olds fool around but not many (at least the driven ones) are having kind of sex which can lead to pregnancy, abortion or parenthood.

OP can get her an appointment with an OBGYN for some protection and education.

So you are saying 17yr olds who have sex have no morals? Does this apply to boys and girls?

Do you hear yourself?

NP. I would question their morals, yes.