Birthday party invites - not inviting one girl

[Anonymous]

My mom invited my bully to my first grade party because she was friendly with her parents. Over forty years later, it still stings that everyone else’s feeling came before mine. As a result, I didn’t invite my child’s bully when I invited the entire first grade. It’s been several years and DC mentioned just the other day how stressful the bullying was in first grade and how much she appreciated that her bully wasn’t invited to the party.

Worry about your child. It is not your responsibility to worry about the bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom invited my bully to my first grade party because she was friendly with her parents. Over forty years later, it still stings that everyone else’s feeling came before mine. As a result, I didn’t invite my child’s bully when I invited the entire first grade. It’s been several years and DC mentioned just the other day how stressful the bullying was in first grade and how much she appreciated that her bully wasn’t invited to the party.

Worry about your child. It is not your responsibility to worry about the bully.

DP. Absolutely this. I don’t even understand the women advocating for inviting a g.d. fifth-grade bully - a child fully aware of what she’s doing. (“OMG her prefrontal cortex still needs time to mature where’s your compassion???”) I hate sanctimony. OP is obviously right to value her DD (it’s literally her party) and ignore the craziness here. This is yet another thread where the attacks on OP and her POV make no sense whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So let’s get this straight. You think it’s okay to handle a bully by bullying them? Wow.

Yes, inviting all girls but her is a bully move.

No, it isn't bullying for this child not to be invited. Having people stop wanting to spend time with you if you treat them poorly is called the consequences of bad behavior. Why in F's sake should any child be forced to have someone who is mean to them at their *birthday* party? WTF?

[Anonymous]

You can’t leave 1 girl out. Very bad form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t leave 1 girl out. Very bad form.

Yes, you can.

[Anonymous]

I was bullied as a kid and my mom constantly made me hang out with bullies “go play outside with the other kids” and their moms were like go hang out with “poor shy nerdy girl”. None of this made them kinder or made me into mother Theresa. It just taught me adults are clueless and carelessly cruel.

Dont invite the mean girl. It’s your daughter’s party and she should be able to be happy, relaxed and enjoy it with people she actually wants to be around.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you are obligated to invite the mean girl.
But please do be honest if the parents approach you about why she wasn’t invited. They should know how their child acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to invite her, but you don't get to exclude just her

Yes! Such a no-brainer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach her to be kind

Do you know teach her to be a doormat and take abuse?

Op, don’t invite the mean kid. Since you’re not inviting the boys, it’s not like you’re inviting everyone but her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach her to be kind

Do you know teach her to be a doormat and take abuse?

Op, don’t invite the mean kid. Since you’re not inviting the boys, it’s not like you’re inviting everyone but her.

+ 1. You’re good, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to invite her, but you don't get to exclude just her

Yes! Such a no-brainer!

Will the birthday party police stop this? You "get" to invite who you want to your parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a bully at this age, and if my mother had forced me to invite her to my birthday, I would simply have declined having a party at all. Inviting this cruel child into my house would simply have given her more fodder to torment me with. People have gone nuts in the name of inclusion. This isn’t fair to your child, OP. Do not invite her.

Your parents needed to teach YOU better techniques to deal with her and to not become a target. That is where they went wrong. I had some girls target my daughter because she is a year younger than the class and she is tiny. I told her not to play with them and to snap back. For example one girl would say “you can’t play with us because you’re a baby”, then she would snap back “yes, I’m younger, but I’m the smartest one here. You’re just HUGE!”. Luckily the girl wasn’t overweight, but she was very tall. Snapping back actually gets the girls to stop, or at least in my daughter’s class. She’s still not friends with them, but it doesn’t really matter. We still invite them to our parties, and they never show, hmm wonder why. . .

Victim-blaming, how lovely. And you’re proud your daughter is insulting people based on their size. Found the bully right here.

Look it's the be the "bigger" person and just ignore the abuse like a female should mom. Neither of these ever help with or stop the bullying from happening.

[Anonymous]

OMG do not do this!! You're seriously considering inviting 9/10 girls because one threw out an eraser?? What planet do you live on?

You have two choices:

1) Invite all the girls, this one included.

2) Invite 5 or fewer girls.

Less than half or all. Full stop. These are little kids, don't be cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG do not do this!! You're seriously considering inviting 9/10 girls because one threw out an eraser?? What planet do you live on?

You have two choices:

1) Invite all the girls, this one included.

2) Invite 5 or fewer girls.

Less than half or all. Full stop. These are little kids, don't be cruel.

No. They are 11. OP is fine. Hope her DD has a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG do not do this!! You're seriously considering inviting 9/10 girls because one threw out an eraser?? What planet do you live on?

You have two choices:

1) Invite all the girls, this one included.

2) Invite 5 or fewer girls.

Less than half or all. Full stop. These are little kids, don't be cruel.

No, she also has the choice

3) invite all the girls except the one who bullies your daughter.

Why exclude the other girls on account of the bully? What if there’s a sweet shy girl in the class who has no best friends, but is friendly enough. Why should she be excluded?

People need to be held accountable for their actions. A fifth grader certainly knows what she’s doing and no one should coddle her.