When to intervene- Mean Girl Bullying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please tell me you have reported the bullying in an official way at her school. Please document everything meticulously. I would not let these girls get away with it. They have seriously crossed the line. Any mean texts or apologies need to be saved and reported.

+10000000000000000000

[Anonymous]

OP, I do think you need to engage the school. Sometimes, a simple talking-to from the school leadership to the offending students will put a stop to the bullying. The girls may never be friends again, but really, were they ever?

[Anonymous]

Since you are talking about alcohol consumption w/o panic i will infer these are high-school aged teens.

In that case I would not change schools if she is doing well academically. Consider only if the academics change.

Good suggestions here about NOT internalizing behavior from jerks, as she will encounter people who act like jerks throughout life. Its time to learn that lesson w/o running away.

[Anonymous]

Drunk, mean girls? Get your kid out. Toxic environment.

[Anonymous]

Look at coed schools.These issues can be worse at all girl schools. Friendships with boys can dilute the queen bee dynamic.

[Anonymous]

NO- i haven't read all the way, but wanted to weigh in on the side of change schools. A small public middle school with mostly affluent families is/was the worst for both my sweet, friendly and yes, beautiful girls. My older one is now thriving socially in a large public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contact the principal.

No. What could the principal of the school possibly do? Why do some parents think their school can solve all of their problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old exactly? For example, If DD is already 16, it may not be worth a move.

She is 15. If there is no way to resolve this, we would make the move. On the way out we would be very clear with the school about who and who she was leaving. My husband is a high profile parent that they wouldn’t want to see go.

I've only made it this far but I have to ask - if this is true, WHY have you not used it to your advantage/to assist in this situation? Everyone else does, at least you're doing it to help your DD out of a crappy situation vs. using it for social status etc. like so many other families do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for the crowd sourcing. There were a lot of great ideas here and I am going to use many of them. Many angles I had not even considered. Also this situation is clearly not unique and sounds like it happens everywhere. So that is a reality bomb She said she wants to change schools. Which seems to be in line with the advice here. We’ll let her think about it over break. It is competitive here in NYC so we are going to start looking now for hopeful January but def next year.

So how are you going to help your child between now and June?

Honestly, I am going to take the therapy advice from the PP. I think it is a good idea that I had not even considered. Because thinking about it among these posts even when she switches schools, this problem could happen again. It is clearly not unique. This happens everywhere. I realize now she has to have better skills at dealing. But I agree with the assessment here that nothing is going to change where she is so we’ll switch schools or move and switch schools with therapy. Don’t want her to end up like me, scarred by high school mean girls. Not worth it. This forum has been so helpful with ideas and processing.

OP, I would call around to some other area privates to ask if any spots have opened up mid-year - if you don't want to go public that isn't your only option. Families move, priorities/budgets change etc. and kids leave. You might get lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contact the principal.

No. What could the principal of the school possibly do? Why do some parents think their school can solve all of their problems?

Exactly it didn't happen at the school and if OP ever wants to talk to these women and girls again whether at gymnastics class or whatever it's much classier to say that her daughter wanted to change schools after some girl drama and just leave it at that. Doesn't mean forever then. Just means it was an unhealthy situation at the time and points the blame directly at the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This kid needs to change schools ASAP.

Princess Kate had to change schools due to this. Protect your daughter. Dump the other Mom “friends”