Private school keeps asking which holidays we celebrate

[Anonymous]

I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The school likely doesn't want to to offend you. They want to make an inclusive environment I think it's kind of overkill too but what's the big deal about completing a form in a private school? They want to know what holidays the families who pay good money in tuition celebrate.

Clearly op won’t be offended. Not everyone is a delicate flower who needs to be catered to. Maybe they’re atheists who are open to all religions?

OP clearly IS a delicate flower becauseliterally an innocuous form and email offends her.

Dp, yeah, I wouldn’t say delicate flower, but it’s just a form and an email. It’s not a big deal. Clearly many people on this thread didn’t understand OPs reluctance to answer. The teacher probably didn’t either.

They left it blank for a reason. They don't want their kid to be excluded from these activities because they are fine with them celebrating it at school. They probably don't want the child to feel isolated when the decorate Santa or make a gingerbread house or whatever. Something probably happened at school and OP disclosed they don't holiday shop. A lot of people will casually ask if you finished Christmas shopping.

They could just say "We don't celebrate any holidays in our home, but are eager for our son to participate fully in any holidays celebrated at the school."

Wut if they don’t want

Then don't choose to send your kid to a religous school.

[Anonymous]

If the family is Bahá'í or Jain or whatever, why does the school need to know? How does it help them in any way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is sad and disappointed because they feel like they are missing out. You don't let them participate in Halloween by dressing up and you bring them to school late. Your kid is going to resent you some day for being a stick in the mud.

I doubt it. There are different cultures you know outside of American mainstream. Some people think it's wasteful to buy a custom used for one day.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your kid is probably saying stuff at school.

Exactly. I posted that about an hour ago too.
I bet when they are doing Christmas activities/lessons OP's kid is making a big deal about how his family doesn't do X or knows that Y isn't true, etc.

I doubt this is true. If it was they would have brought it up. There is a lot of reading between the lines going on.

Op here. I don't think that is true because our child is pretty young however he has been acting strange and sad when he goes to school lately. I can ask. He's okay when he comes home on the bus. He's very social and has a lot of friends. For certain holidays I usually don't disclose anything to my neighbors. I have before and I can see the disappointment, especially on Halloween. A lot of our neighbors (50 percent) aren't Christian but they put up Christmas lights and Halloween decorations. For Halloween, my kids don't dress up and I bring them late to school. They still attend class parties, eat cake, etc. Some people value privacy. I have an Iranian friend who doesn't like disclosing where she's from in certain situations. Other people are from Palestine but may say Jordan or Egypt. I have another friend who is Russian but says she's Ukrainian. When people ask where we are from I disclose but my husband doesn't always like to disclose.

This doesn't sound like a great way to make friends honestly. I'm very liberal and don't care what religion someone is (or if they have none) but it’s hard to make friends with someone who seems cagey all the time. What religion is against Halloween costumes? I live in a very diverse area and don't know anyone against dressing up.

I’m a first generation American and also not a Christian. I can say with one hundred percent confidence that it’s the people who say they are “very liberal and don’t care what religion someone is” who are the most bigoted.

You are the reason that people like me and the OP like to keep our origins private. I’m a person, an individual who is not defined by my ethnicity or religion or sex or any of the other little classification that liberals like to group people into. I’m not a box for you to check on your list of “diverse” friends, so that you can feel good about how open-minded you are while conveniently putting me in a category of “other” and “distinct” from you.

Okay. But don’t be confused when you keep everyone at arms length.

Oh, I’ve always had many, many friends. I don’t keep everyone at arm’s length, just “very liberal” and “open-minded” people like you.

Are you the OP? It doesn’t sound like it. And if you are and have “many many friends” you wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is probably saying stuff at school.

Exactly. I posted that about an hour ago too.
I bet when they are doing Christmas activities/lessons OP's kid is making a big deal about how his family doesn't do X or knows that Y isn't true, etc.

I doubt this is true. If it was they would have brought it up. There is a lot of reading between the lines going on.

Op here. I don't think that is true because our child is pretty young however he has been acting strange and sad when he goes to school lately. I can ask. He's okay when he comes home on the bus. He's very social and has a lot of friends. For certain holidays I usually don't disclose anything to my neighbors. I have before and I can see the disappointment, especially on Halloween. A lot of our neighbors (50 percent) aren't Christian but they put up Christmas lights and Halloween decorations. For Halloween, my kids don't dress up and I bring them late to school. They still attend class parties, eat cake, etc. Some people value privacy. I have an Iranian friend who doesn't like disclosing where she's from in certain situations. Other people are from Palestine but may say Jordan or Egypt. I have another friend who is Russian but says she's Ukrainian. When people ask where we are from I disclose but my husband doesn't always like to disclose.

This doesn't sound like a great way to make friends honestly. I'm very liberal and don't care what religion someone is (or if they have none) but it’s hard to make friends with someone who seems cagey all the time. What religion is against Halloween costumes? I live in a very diverse area and don't know anyone against dressing up.

I’m a first generation American and also not a Christian. I can say with one hundred percent confidence that it’s the people who say they are “very liberal and don’t care what religion someone is” who are the most bigoted.

You are the reason that people like me and the OP like to keep our origins private. I’m a person, an individual who is not defined by my ethnicity or religion or sex or any of the other little classification that liberals like to group people into. I’m not a box for you to check on your list of “diverse” friends, so that you can feel good about how open-minded you are while conveniently putting me in a category of “other” and “distinct” from you.

Okay. But don’t be confused when you keep everyone at arms length.

Oh, I’ve always had many, many friends. I don’t keep everyone at arm’s length, just “very liberal” and “open-minded” people like you.

Are you the OP? It doesn’t sound like it. And if you are and have “many many friends” you wouldn’t be crowd sourcing this here.

I am not the OP. I am just explaining why OP does not want to share her religious beliefs or lack thereof with her kid’s religious private school. It’s pushy and rude to say the least that the school keeps asking, but a liberal progressive like you who “values diversity” can’t wrap his or her “open-mind” around that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is sad and disappointed because they feel like they are missing out. You don't let them participate in Halloween by dressing up and you bring them to school late. Your kid is going to resent you some day for being a stick in the mud.

I doubt it. There are different cultures you know outside of American mainstream. Some people think it's wasteful to buy a custom used for one day.

Who said you have to buy one? Is borrowing not a custom in your culture? Don't have any friends who can hand one down?

[Anonymous]

Just say you celebrate Festivus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

You are a lunatic OP. FULL STOP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

Delivery is everything. They could have asked if there were any holidays they didn't want the kids to celebrate since she mentioned they don't celebrate Christmas but demanding to fill out some dumb form mid year is inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

It's not at all inappropriate for a religious school to want to know the religious views of their students/students' families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a lunatic OP. FULL STOP

Agreed