Private school keeps asking which holidays we celebrate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

It's not at all inappropriate for a religious school to want to know the religious views of their students/students' families.

I disagree. It's none of their business. That ship has sailed. They already admitted the child.

[Anonymous]

So the form asks which holidays do you not celebrate. And op left it blank. What's the big deal again? It really should ask if there are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate. They both kind of mean the same thing but most families send their kids to a religious school knowing they will celebrate certain holidays. If they don't want their child to celebrate it then they voice that to the school which OP didn't do. Making a big to do out of nothing. School admin is bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is probably saying stuff at school.

Exactly. I posted that about an hour ago too.
I bet when they are doing Christmas activities/lessons OP's kid is making a big deal about how his family doesn't do X or knows that Y isn't true, etc.

I doubt this is true. If it was they would have brought it up. There is a lot of reading between the lines going on.

Op here. I don't think that is true because our child is pretty young however he has been acting strange and sad when he goes to school lately. I can ask. He's okay when he comes home on the bus. He's very social and has a lot of friends. For certain holidays I usually don't disclose anything to my neighbors. I have before and I can see the disappointment, especially on Halloween. A lot of our neighbors (50 percent) aren't Christian but they put up Christmas lights and Halloween decorations. For Halloween, my kids don't dress up and I bring them late to school. They still attend class parties, eat cake, etc. Some people value privacy. I have an Iranian friend who doesn't like disclosing where she's from in certain situations. Other people are from Palestine but may say Jordan or Egypt. I have another friend who is Russian but says she's Ukrainian. When people ask where we are from I disclose but my husband doesn't always like to disclose.

That doesn't sound like a good way to live but thanks for explaining. Maybe the school should ask are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate at school instead of making it about your family and your religious beliefs.

I think the school is being extra cautious because of you not celebrating Halloween. Presbyterians are pretty chill and mainstream as Protestants go, but they might have worried after Halloween that you are Jehovah’s Witnesses or Seventh Day Adventists, since those are more common Protestant christian denominations that avoid Halloween. If you were Jehovah’s Witnesses, they would have been really worried about Christmas and birthdays because they don’t celebrate those as many other Christians do.

Those are the assumptions the school is probably making and they’re likely quite worried about how to accommodate you in a way that respects your family’s beliefs. It would be a lot easier to explain what you do and don’t celebrate and what christian holidays you celebrate in a secular way. The pattern of your family’s engagement in holidays so far is probably very confusing to them!

[Anonymous]

If it were such a big deal why didn't they bring it up when you registered? It sounds like they are mad because that's how they can weed out non-Christians. Leaving it blank means you celebrate all Christian holidays or you don't care if your child celebrates what they do. It doesn't sound deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the form asks which holidays do you not celebrate. And op left it blank. What's the big deal again? It really should ask if there are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate. They both kind of mean the same thing but most families send their kids to a religious school knowing they will celebrate certain holidays. If they don't want their child to celebrate it then they voice that to the school which OP didn't do. Making a big to do out of nothing. School admin is bored.

If you're going to reject the core values of the school, and then make waves about it, you can't expect to be welcomed back the next year. Dropping off late, not picking up on time, neglecting paperwork, and whatever else just to avoid the holidays, may mean there is a conflict of interest and misaligned values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is probably saying stuff at school.

Exactly. I posted that about an hour ago too.
I bet when they are doing Christmas activities/lessons OP's kid is making a big deal about how his family doesn't do X or knows that Y isn't true, etc.

I doubt this is true. If it was they would have brought it up. There is a lot of reading between the lines going on.

Op here. I don't think that is true because our child is pretty young however he has been acting strange and sad when he goes to school lately. I can ask. He's okay when he comes home on the bus. He's very social and has a lot of friends. For certain holidays I usually don't disclose anything to my neighbors. I have before and I can see the disappointment, especially on Halloween. A lot of our neighbors (50 percent) aren't Christian but they put up Christmas lights and Halloween decorations. For Halloween, my kids don't dress up and I bring them late to school. They still attend class parties, eat cake, etc. Some people value privacy. I have an Iranian friend who doesn't like disclosing where she's from in certain situations. Other people are from Palestine but may say Jordan or Egypt. I have another friend who is Russian but says she's Ukrainian. When people ask where we are from I disclose but my husband doesn't always like to disclose.

That doesn't sound like a good way to live but thanks for explaining. Maybe the school should ask are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate at school instead of making it about your family and your religious beliefs.

I think the school is being extra cautious because of you not celebrating Halloween. Presbyterians are pretty chill and mainstream as Protestants go, but they might have worried after Halloween that you are Jehovah’s Witnesses or Seventh Day Adventists, since those are more common Protestant christian denominations that avoid Halloween. If you were Jehovah’s Witnesses, they would have been really worried about Christmas and birthdays because they don’t celebrate those as many other Christians do.

Those are the assumptions the school is probably making and they’re likely quite worried about how to accommodate you in a way that respects your family’s beliefs. It would be a lot easier to explain what you do and don’t celebrate and what christian holidays you celebrate in a secular way. The pattern of your family’s engagement in holidays so far is probably very confusing to them!

Op is an immigrant. I doubt they think that. I think they are confused why they don't celebrate the holidays they do kind of like the guy from UK who doesn't understand holiday cards. Some people are just nosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the form asks which holidays do you not celebrate. And op left it blank. What's the big deal again? It really should ask if there are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate. They both kind of mean the same thing but most families send their kids to a religious school knowing they will celebrate certain holidays. If they don't want their child to celebrate it then they voice that to the school which OP didn't do. Making a big to do out of nothing. School admin is bored.

If you're going to reject the core values of the school, and then make waves about it, you can't expect to be welcomed back the next year. Dropping off late, not picking up on time, neglecting paperwork, and whatever else just to avoid the holidays, may mean there is a conflict of interest and misaligned values.

That doesn't really make since they ask specifically if there are holidays they don't celebrate. You can't have it both ways and saying stuff like this is probably why they don't want to disclose everything. Maybe they needed a spot and didn't want them to give it to someone else.

[Anonymous]

The Halloween thing could be because they are Muslim. It could have been a safety concern. You never know these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the form asks which holidays do you not celebrate. And op left it blank. What's the big deal again? It really should ask if there are any holidays you don't want your child to celebrate. They both kind of mean the same thing but most families send their kids to a religious school knowing they will celebrate certain holidays. If they don't want their child to celebrate it then they voice that to the school which OP didn't do. Making a big to do out of nothing. School admin is bored.

If you're going to reject the core values of the school, and then make waves about it, you can't expect to be welcomed back the next year. Dropping off late, not picking up on time, neglecting paperwork, and whatever else just to avoid the holidays, may mean there is a conflict of interest and misaligned values.

That doesn't really make since they ask specifically if there are holidays they don't celebrate. You can't have it both ways and saying stuff like this is probably why they don't want to disclose everything. Maybe they needed a spot and didn't want them to give it to someone else.

OP says they ask which holidays the DO celebrate.

[Anonymous]

The school is making a wrong assumption: that if someone doesn't celebrate, they might be offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People like OP drive me crazy. You’re part of a community! Who is trying to be courteous! Be part of society and tell them.
They want to know so your kid doesn’t make a Christmas ornament craft if you don’t celebrate Christmas. So they can make sure the coloring page matches the holiday that resonates with the kid. Probably little things like that.

It's fine if people want to know what holidays families celebrate. What I have an issue with is when schools act like every major religion has a major holiday during the last week of december. NO, we don't.

DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

You don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists… that you know of. Maybe they just don’t want to provide “a personality profile” to let you know their beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The school is making a wrong assumption: that if someone doesn't celebrate, they might be offended.

Yes, 1000 percent this. The only question they should ask is are they any holidays you don't want your child to participate in at school? And most families who are sending their kids to a religious school would say no because it's a religious school. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why OP is being so secretive. People can generally tell who you area and where you're from by your names and what your kid talks about at school.

I’m PP who is a non-Christian first generation American. For whatever reason, no one can ever tell that I’m not a run of the mill White girl unless I say something. My parents changed our last name and my first name is super generic. Either way, people like me have found it easier to keep our background quiet because it’s easier to deal with than when we share. If I sense that you’re not a bigot, I’ll share. Otherwise, nope.

What is a run of the mill white girl? Ever think they are living secret lives just like you? You're judging those books by their covers.

Secret lives? No, I just assume that not everyone wants to provide a personality profile, DNA test and/or family tree to have a professional/casual relationship with me. I don’t feel the need to do so either.

I don’t judge books by their covers, I judge by actions and experiences. My experience is that oriole who claim to be progressive /very Liberal types are hands down the biggest racists and bigots. I don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists, so my only basis of comparison is moderates and mainstream conservatives.

Either way, a nosy teacher/administration demanding to know OP’s religious views is highly inappropriate and crosses the line on so many levels.

You don’t hang out with Aryan nationalists… that you know of. Maybe they just don’t want to provide “a personality profile” to let you know their beliefs.

Well, if I do I unknowingly hang out with Aryan nationalists, they are also less openly and unabashedly racist and bigoted than the “very liberal” progressives I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The school is making a wrong assumption: that if someone doesn't celebrate, they might be offended.

Yes, 1000 percent this. The only question they should ask is are they any holidays you don't want your child to participate in at school? And most families who are sending their kids to a religious school would say no because it's a religious school. Duh.

Exactly, if you’re sending your child to a religious school of a religion you don’t follow, you’re most likely okay with your child being exposed to and taught about thar religion at school. Otherwise, you wouldn’t send your kid there.