My cousin asked if her kid(s) could live with me

[Anonymous]

What’s this called? pay it sideways?

[Anonymous]

There's a This American Life episode with an interview of a woman who had been adopted by her aunt.
The aunt was an older sister who couldn't have children so she adopted the baby daughter of her younger sister. The girl was raised in American and did not know that her mother was actually her aunt.
At the age of 12 she was kidnapped by her biological family who believed she wasnt being raised properly and was too Westernized.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/680/transcript

[Anonymous]

We have done this. Unfortunately, it's a thankless job. My sister's family is great at taking and then biting the hands that feed them. tread carefully

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an immigrant from Asia where this type of ask is pretty common. My parents bore the brunt of it. One of my cousins sent her son to a school near my parents, with the understanding that my parents would keep an eye on him. It did not go well. The son was very disrespectful and ungracious, whereas my mom went out of her way to do things for him. After that they said never again.

Short of truly dire situations (war zone or parental death), I would not take in a child of a relative. You can barely keep your head above water; you have no bandwidth to take on another dependent.

Relatives overseas often have some really unrealistic views of life in America. Do not give in to family pressure. It can get really insidious.

this

Hard pass

And in the US we don't have servants and cooks like they do in many other countries. It's a lot to take on an extra person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they legitimate refugees?

If not, then no, I would not entertain this idea.

Can you even define what that means?

[Anonymous]

I knew someone who was raised by her Aunt and Uncle here in the states (from another country). Her own parents were selfish jerks. Aunt and Uncle were super nice and generous, and loved their niece. After college, the niece (who became a selfish jerk like her parents) rejected ties with Aunt and Uncle. I noticed her choosing to spend time with her a-hole parents instead.
So you might take on this extra child only to be rewarded with rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew someone who was raised by her Aunt and Uncle here in the states (from another country). Her own parents were selfish jerks. Aunt and Uncle were super nice and generous, and loved their niece. After college, the niece (who became a selfish jerk like her parents) rejected ties with Aunt and Uncle. I noticed her choosing to spend time with her a-hole parents instead.
So you might take on this extra child only to be rewarded with rejection.

How did you notice this if they lived overseas?
BS fail. Try again.