My cousin asked if her kid(s) could live with me

[Anonymous]

I would say yes in a hot minute, but that’s because I have one child + secondary infertility and would love another kid in the house.

Since you wouldn’t love it, don’t do it unless the kid is in dire straits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If its some type of emergency or in a war/disease/extremely impoverished area, then I probably would. Otherwise no, especially with your own kids to care for.

If they spend too much for their older child's education and can't fund a better education for their younger child, that isn't your economic problem to solve.

+1

+1 more

They should be looking at solutions that equate both their children, even if it’s moving them to a different school.

I understand that culturally, this might be an expectation, but “what’s in it for you”? There should be some significant financial and logistical help available to you *if this is what you want to do*

If you really don’t want to do this, it’s fine to say no. Protect your family first. If you are already stretched thin, there is nothing in this game for you, or your cousin and their child.

[Anonymous]

The school obviously thinks they can afford it if it isn’t offering additional aid…. The answer is no.

[Anonymous]

Do they have US citizenship?
I had an F1 student visa, sponsored by the school. No public school will do this.

What do her kids have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

[Anonymous]

If you're already overwhelmed, feel no guilt about saying no!

[Anonymous]

... and you can say no
I would

[Anonymous]

Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin who currently sends her older child to boarding school in the US. My cousin and her family live in a different country. She wants to send her younger child in the US but due to the economy and exchange rates, they cannot afford to send both kids to boarding school in the US. She asked if the younger child could stay with us and go to school.

I already have 3 kids and it a struggle daily to wake them up and I feel like we barely get to school. Same for the afternoons. We have constant conflicts and it is difficult to feed and drive my own 3 kids.

Would you take in a cousin?

If you are in Fairfax County (and maybe other counties) they will have to pay tuition, unless they make you the legal guardian officially.

[Anonymous]

I am from a culture where this is common and after witnessing what my parents had to deal with, I would absolutely say hell no to this agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbors have about 10 adult “cousins” and 10 school aged minors from Guatemala all living together and attending public school. Go for it! Mi casa es tu casa.

This would qualify for the war zone/extreme danger exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

[Anonymous]

Its a huge responsibility which I wouldn't want to have as so many things fan go wrong. Their kid isn't fleeing life threatening conditions, just a lifestyle choice for which she wants him to study here, for same amount he can attend a decent school back home.

Some people feel really entitled and not think of ones they are putting in difficult position. Your opinion isn't the only one which counts, it would effect lives of your husband and children as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only do it if all expenses were paid and you had a behavior agreement that, if violated, sends the kid back.

That wouldn't end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do they have US citizenship?
I had an F1 student visa, sponsored by the school. No public school will do this.

What do her kids have?

Didn't Priyanka Chopra attend a public school here and lived with her mom's cousin for few years? Was that illegal?