My cousin asked if her kid(s) could live with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an immigrant from Asia where this type of ask is pretty common. My parents bore the brunt of it. One of my cousins sent her son to a school near my parents, with the understanding that my parents would keep an eye on him. It did not go well. The son was very disrespectful and ungracious, whereas my mom went out of her way to do things for him. After that they said never again.

Short of truly dire situations (war zone or parental death), I would not take in a child of a relative. You can barely keep your head above water; you have no bandwidth to take on another dependent.

Relatives overseas often have some really unrealistic views of life in America. Do not give in to family pressure. It can get really insidious.

Not to hijack the OPs thread but I do not understand this. Everyone around here , particularly our Asian friends, thinks the US public education system is far less rigorous than schools in many Asian countries. Why is it a common ask to send cousins to live with someone else just to attend a US public school?

Because the schools in Asia are pressure cookers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. I hosted my nephew for 3 months. It was a lot of work, plus my nephew and I don't like each other. If he grew up with me, it would not be a problem but when he just showed up at 16, it was obvious and awkward.

[Anonymous]

If they are in a war zone or a place that's been hit with a disaster, then yes. Otherwise, it doesn't sound like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

How is that even legal? A child can't overstay their tourist visa any more than an adult could. I also can't see this getting past a visa interview with the US either. Plus you aren't their legal guardian, they won't have health insurance, etc. All you need is a 10K hospital bill for a broken arm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

Schools must enroll all children whose parent or guardians wish to enroll them if they live in the zoned boundary. They don't need to be US citizens. It is federal law.

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/dcl-factsheet-201101.html

All children in the United States are entitled to a basic public elementary and secondary education regardless of their actual or perceived race, color, national origin, citizenship, immigration status, or the status of their parents/guardians. School districts that either prohibit or discourage, or maintain policies that have the effect of prohibiting or discouraging, children from enrolling in schools because they or their parents/guardians are not U.S. citizens or are undocumented may be in violation of Federal law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

High schools can, for 12 months. The school must be reimbursed for costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is that even legal? A child can't overstay their tourist visa any more than an adult could. I also can't see this getting past a visa interview with the US either. Plus you aren't their legal guardian, they won't have health insurance, etc. All you need is a 10K hospital bill for a broken arm.

Her cousin can give her legal guardianship and if they can get the kid here the visa is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

High schools can, for 12 months. The school must be reimbursed for costs.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what country does your cousin and her family currently live?

This. Ukraine, Israel, Palestine ..I’d say yes but easily say no if it’s a non war zone country.

You do realize other countries are at war, yes?

Wars in Yemen, Mali, Nigeria (Boko Haram insurgency), Myanmar, Haiti, Ethiopia, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what country does your cousin and her family currently live?

This. Ukraine, Israel, Palestine ..I’d say yes but easily say no if it’s a non war zone country.

You do realize other countries are at war, yes?

Wars in Yemen, Mali, Nigeria (Boko Haram insurgency), Myanmar, Haiti, Ethiopia, etc.

DP. You are so pedantic. The PP knows they are not listing all the war zones, hence the ..

[Anonymous]

NO NO NO NO.

DO NOT CONFUSE THE RIGHT TO AN EDUCATION WITH THE RIGHT TO STAY ON US SOIL.

TALK TO A IMMIGRATION ATTORNEY BEFORE THE FOREIGN NATIONAL ARRIVES.

THE LONG-TERM GOAL OF GOING TO A US UNIVERSITY AND SETTLING HERE WILL BE IMPACTED BY AN ILLEGAL OVERSTAY AS A MINOR.



Sorry for shouting, but clearly people here are extremely ignorant and there is a risk to the future interests of the child in question. These are extremely serious matters: the US Citizenship and Immigration Services does not mess around!!!

- a foreigner who has had many non-immigrant visas, including a student visa.

[Anonymous]

I have lots of cousins and it would totally depend on the cousin and their kid. My wackadoodle cousin who is always making bad choices and loves drama? Hell no. My cousins I’m close with who have nice well behaved children? I’m a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NO NO NO NO.

DO NOT CONFUSE THE RIGHT TO AN EDUCATION WITH THE RIGHT TO STAY ON US SOIL.

TALK TO A IMMIGRATION ATTORNEY BEFORE THE FOREIGN NATIONAL ARRIVES.

THE LONG-TERM GOAL OF GOING TO A US UNIVERSITY AND SETTLING HERE WILL BE IMPACTED BY AN ILLEGAL OVERSTAY AS A MINOR.



Sorry for shouting, but clearly people here are extremely ignorant and there is a risk to the future interests of the child in question. These are extremely serious matters: the US Citizenship and Immigration Services does not mess around!!!

- a foreigner who has had many non-immigrant visas, including a student visa.

This!