My cousin asked if her kid(s) could live with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

Schools must enroll all children whose parent or guardians wish to enroll them if they live in the zoned boundary. They don't need to be US citizens. It is federal law.

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/dcl-factsheet-201101.html

All children in the United States are entitled to a basic public elementary and secondary education regardless of their actual or perceived race, color, national origin, citizenship, immigration status, or the status of their parents/guardians. School districts that either prohibit or discourage, or maintain policies that have the effect of prohibiting or discouraging, children from enrolling in schools because they or their parents/guardians are not U.S. citizens or are undocumented may be in violation of Federal law.

FCPS Special Student Registration https://www.fcps.edu/registration/general-registration-requirements/special
International student exchange programs are rather formal and are for 1 year only. So if the parent sends the child to the USA on a visa, overstays, and the people in the USA host the child? Tuition is due and what's the rational for the care and custody?

Visa overstay as an unaccompanied minor perhaps puts the child in the same category as southern border crossers? ORR - tuition not paid
https://www.acf.hhs.gov/orr/grant-funding/unaccompanied-children-released-sponsors-state

Do school districts audit this stuff? Are the visa overstays or on visas not paying tuition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Do they have US citizenship?
I had an F1 student visa, sponsored by the school. No public school will do this.

What do her kids have?

Public high school do sign i20 so foreign students can get f1 visa. The student will have to pay tuition to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

High schools can, for 12 months. The school must be reimbursed for costs.

What?

Yes, public schools provide f1 visas. The parents/guardian will have to pay tuition for the child. USCIS website has this information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

Hopefully your infertility did not resolve and you never got “your baby” because you sound a-w-f-u-l

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

Hopefully your infertility did not resolve and you never got “your baby” because you sound a-w-f-u-l

No I don't sound awful. That's the pot calling the kettle black, creature. Sorry to disappoint you. I have 2 great kids in their teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

Hopefully your infertility did not resolve and you never got “your baby” because you sound a-w-f-u-l

PP you're the one who is profoundly awful. You can't handle someone being frank about their desire for a biological child and you have the ugly gall to wish them ill for being blunt and honest. You need therapy to explore why you are so knee-jerk judgemental but you'll probably never get that help, because you likely are too arrogant to understand why your post above is the absolute nadir of posts on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

+1 what a mean unhappy person one must be to make a comment like that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And how would you even register the kid for school? They'd be here illegally. I had to provide birth certificates when I registered my kids.

You can legally come here as a student, you know. Kids do it all the time.

Public schools do not provide student visas. DUH.

Schools must enroll all children whose parent or guardians wish to enroll them if they live in the zoned boundary. They don't need to be US citizens. It is federal law.

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/dcl-factsheet-201101.html

All children in the United States are entitled to a basic public elementary and secondary education regardless of their actual or perceived race, color, national origin, citizenship, immigration status, or the status of their parents/guardians. School districts that either prohibit or discourage, or maintain policies that have the effect of prohibiting or discouraging, children from enrolling in schools because they or their parents/guardians are not U.S. citizens or are undocumented may be in violation of Federal law.

The child will need a visa to live legally in the US.

[Anonymous]

Legal smegal.

Millions of illegal aliens here and growing 2.5M a year of illegal overstayers or border crossers.

Local, state and federal govt doesn’t really care enough to do anything. And everyone out there trying to come knows that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbors have about 10 adult “cousins” and 10 school aged minors from Guatemala all living together and attending public school. Go for it! Mi casa es tu casa.

This would qualify for the war zone/extreme danger exception.

Yeah, no... If we bring all of the Guatemalans here to get away from the Guatemalans, we end up all of the same problems. Let them solve it there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

Hopefully your infertility did not resolve and you never got “your baby” because you sound a-w-f-u-l

And how many children have you adopted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no

Though I know how pushy some can be. My DH and I were having some infertility issues and a cousin of his in India asked if we wanted to adopt his 10yo and 8 yo seeing as we were having trouble. (!!!!)

A lot of family members chimed in that they thought it was the perfect solution to everything. I was shocked at what they were suggesting.

If they were struggling to raise the kids, its actually a pretty common thing to do.

Yes, that's what they were thinking. But the infertility roller coaster was hard enough.

No way were we adopting kids whose parents were still alive and they weren't in an abusive situation.

With private adoption that’s how it works. Parents alive, kids not abused.

You ever had infertility? You have to bury that dream before you think of moving on to adoption. And honestly, we wanted "our baby" not some kids who wanted a chance at better schooling but would still have parents expecting a say in their lives (I know these cousins, they would absolutely expect input.) This would be adoption in name only as I realized at the time.

Hopefully your infertility did not resolve and you never got “your baby” because you sound a-w-f-u-l

PP you're the one who is profoundly awful. You can't handle someone being frank about their desire for a biological child and you have the ugly gall to wish them ill for being blunt and honest. You need therapy to explore why you are so knee-jerk judgemental but you'll probably never get that help, because you likely are too arrogant to understand why your post above is the absolute nadir of posts on DCUM.

Triggered, much?

[Anonymous]

Was the OP and their story even real? No other post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin who currently sends her older child to boarding school in the US. My cousin and her family live in a different country. She wants to send her younger child in the US but due to the economy and exchange rates, they cannot afford to send both kids to boarding school in the US. She asked if the younger child could stay with us and go to school.

I already have 3 kids and it a struggle daily to wake them up and I feel like we barely get to school. Same for the afternoons. We have constant conflicts and it is difficult to feed and drive my own 3 kids.

Would you take in a cousin?

How exciting!

You can care for their Kid 2 while they pay for Kid 1 to continue at expensive boarding school.