have you offered to exercise with her? Cook healthy meals?
I'd start there before "hey you got really fat." |
Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself. |
And what about your partner? |
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That's the point. If your partner isn't staying within 10% (with good reason), then they're not being a good partner. Kind of on par with not sharing chores equally, contributing to the household, listening and being kind. |
Why is that part of being a good partner? I don’t get it. My husband is unhappy with my weight. I have gained about 20% of what I weighed when we got married (160 lbs - 190 lbs ; 5’8”). I gained it during pregnancies, but my youngest is in fourth grade. But we have a good sex life, and I know he finds me attractive. I am overall active (just ran four miles this morning and went on a long hike in the woods with DD yesterday). My health is good. I find it uncomfortable to lose weight and maintain it. I don’t really want to live that way. I don’t get what the big deal is. |
What is her height and weight? Since you know her bmi, you have that information. |
This is crazy. Going from 130 to 145 over the course of a marriage is not “bad partner”-level behavior. Obviously there is a line towards serious obesity where it’s a health concern but 10% if you are starting young and thin is not reasonable. You could easily still be under 25 bmi and have gained 10% from your starting weight - is that being a bad partner? |
I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look. |
OP, please let us know how your body handles perimenopause. Of course, then you wouldn't need our advice. |
Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat. |
You just aren't very smart. I had to say it. You and Dan Savage know nothing about the human body, especially the female body. Especially the female body that has ever given birth. Or entered menopause. Or any other number of very normal things that change body chemistry, composition, and weight. |
I feel fat when my bmi is 23+ |
lol, yes Op, go ahead. Please update us how it went. |
I feel like Dan was maybe a little tight with that number, but over 20% and you're starting to push it. Eat healthy and there's no way you shouldn't be able to stay within 20%. |