What dog does he have in the fight?

[Anonymous]

She shouldn’t have said yes to marriage if having female friends was a dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

Again there are female relatives and besides what emotional support can a man get from another female outside of the marriage that he can't get from his marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

I do think that is fine. Other than wishes and fantasies if the sex never happens why does it matter if a guy has a close friend?
You just don’t trust men to be honest and not cheat. You have bought into the toxic masculinity role that says men will always cheat when given the opportunity.
Maybe it is time to change that stereotype and expect more. This is how strict gender roles can hurt both genders. I’m not saying everyone but 15 years? Your friend should TALK to her fiancé about that and see if he is willing to cut back or make her comfortable. She needs to try that first before threatening and asking him not to contact him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

Again there are female relatives and besides what emotional support can a man get from another female outside of the marriage that he can't get from his marriage?

You already ruled those out saying a wife should come before a mom and the wife should be “first.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

Again there are female relatives and besides what emotional support can a man get from another female outside of the marriage that he can't get from his marriage?

What are you talking about? This isn't some abstract thing - he has a friend! A friend of a decade and a half! Don't you think if these two wanted to get together, they'd have gotten together?

[Anonymous]

Any romantic partner telling you to cut off long-standing, platonic friendships is putting out red flags for abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

Again there are female relatives and besides what emotional support can a man get from another female outside of the marriage that he can't get from his marriage?

What emotional support can a woman get from another woman that she can’t get from her husband? Why have friends at all?

[Anonymous]

What if the friend is a lesbian? What if the friend is asexual? What if the friend had FGM and her genitalia is permanently damaged in a manner that prohibits intercourse? What if the friend is a nun?

Would their friendship be ok then?

[Anonymous]

How attractive is the platonic friend? The vast vast majority of straight guys admit that he would sleep with his “platonic” female friends given the opportunity. That was the whole Chris Rock bit.

I’ve never heard of this issue coming up where the female friend is not sexually attractive. Which raises an honest question from me: do men have years long emotionally intimate platonic friendships with unattractive women or does the new woman just not find that friendship threatening?

The answer to that question reveals a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Then don’t date for 2-2.5 yrs and agree to marry someone that feels different!! Trying to control and limit your spouses friendships after basically agreeing to it (by continuing to date/agree to marry) is NOT OK and actually ABUSE. You are the one being obtuse here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How attractive is the platonic friend? The vast vast majority of straight guys admit that he would sleep with his “platonic” female friends given the opportunity. That was the whole Chris Rock bit.

I’ve never heard of this issue coming up where the female friend is not sexually attractive. Which raises an honest question from me: do men have years long emotionally intimate platonic friendships with unattractive women or does the new woman just not find that friendship threatening?

The answer to that question reveals a lot.

Never marry someone whose understanding of relationships is based on 90s stand-up comics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just another example of how friends can be your worse advisors.

No, OP, his new fiancee does not trump a 15 year relationship with a friend. You two sillies need to respect that friendships are valuable, and even though they might be with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything untoward is going to happen.

I mean, if he was going to be balls deep in her it would have happened by now anyway.

Two reactions to that:
1-Not necessarily.
Maybe she has always been the one to indicate that “friend zone” is her boundary. But that doesn’t mean her idea about that won’t change when she sees that he is no longer an option and she is sad about losing her fallback guy

2-it’s not even about whether they were going to be physically intimate. The emotional intimacy is dangerous to a marriage.

So then what is a female - female bestie relationship about outside of marriage? Can you explain what you REALLY mean by emotional intimacy because I highly doubt you mean talking to your female friends as a female. Why exactly do you worry about woman-man intimacy not women-women? If sex between the woman and man is off the table, why is this intimacy different?

Please stop being so obtuse. You know quite well the difference. In a heterosexual relationship which is was my friend is in if there is emotional intimacy that can lead to physical intimacy of the desired sex where as in a male to male relationship in this case the desired sex isn't a male. Emotional intimacy can be just as sacred as physical intimacy. Ever hear of emotional cheating?

Just because he hasn't put his dick in her doesn't mean he is engaging appropriately with her.

There are different levels of friendships.

There are friends you see strictly at where you know them from like work or school or church. There are friend you hangout with in group settings typically, there are friends you hangout with one on one, there are friends that are always welcome to your house anytime and operate more on a family level with you, friends you would call first if anything bad happens to you and who would help you hide a body.

I just don't feel for a straight man about to be married it's acceptable to have another woman friend who is more in the intimate friendship category. That is what his male friends are for to have close friendships, his female family members, and most importantly his soon to be wife.

Men’s friendships mostly involve minimal chatter while watching sports together. Most men are unable to talk about feelings. By forbidding female friendships you are precluding men from having the same kind of emotional support outside the marriage that women get from their friends. What a horrid twat you are.

Again there are female relatives and besides what emotional support can a man get from another female outside of the marriage that he can't get from his marriage?

What emotional support can a woman get from another woman that she can’t get from her husband? Why have friends at all?

Exactly