Two working parent chaos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to be parents with dual power careers of multiple kids. Truly.

When they get to 5th/6th/7th grades, you will be carpooling and you need to make sure they are all good on the school fronts. They get easier in some ways but mentally, it's a lot harder. When they are young, you need to manage their food/sleep/play date routines. But the tweens/teens - you have to think about so many things - it really depends on what kind of kids you have and you just don't know that until they are there.

I would definitely suggest considering what life may look like in 5 years in context of your kids. You may think it's chaos now but let me tell you as a mom to a learning disability 8th grader and a high achieving perfect student but extroverted busy as all hell 6th grader, it isn't easier. It's different, it's manageable but I don't know that it's "easier" because I have a professional driver to go along with being a breadwinner

I wonder about carpooling—it seems way more stressful to me than having an invariant daily routine of pickup/dropoff where I’m only responsible for my own kids and don’t have to think too hard because every day is the same routine.

Are you serious? Do you work? If so, there is NO WAY that carpooling is more stressful unless you have a problem with people. It's one less thing to do - unless your kids don't do anything at all. Or I guess if they aren't young enough for activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to be parents with dual power careers of multiple kids. Truly.

When they get to 5th/6th/7th grades, you will be carpooling and you need to make sure they are all good on the school fronts. They get easier in some ways but mentally, it's a lot harder. When they are young, you need to manage their food/sleep/play date routines. But the tweens/teens - you have to think about so many things - it really depends on what kind of kids you have and you just don't know that until they are there.

I would definitely suggest considering what life may look like in 5 years in context of your kids. You may think it's chaos now but let me tell you as a mom to a learning disability 8th grader and a high achieving perfect student but extroverted busy as all hell 6th grader, it isn't easier. It's different, it's manageable but I don't know that it's "easier" because I have a professional driver to go along with being a breadwinner

I wonder about carpooling—it seems way more stressful to me than having an invariant daily routine of pickup/dropoff where I’m only responsible for my own kids and don’t have to think too hard because every day is the same routine.

Are you serious? Do you work? If so, there is NO WAY that carpooling is more stressful unless you have a problem with people. It's one less thing to do - unless your kids don't do anything at all. Or I guess if they aren't young enough for activities?

There are times where you can “set it and forget it” for a carpool and that’s great, but other times the other families (or the activity) has too many moving parts, unclear end times (so you are stuck at home so your kid doesn’t get dropped off to an empty house), or requires coordination and uncertainty each week. In those cases I would rather just drive, run errands or have me-time like exercising or sitting with a book, and then bring kid home. Some moms I know (of larger families) only choose activities when they can set up a reliable carpool in advance!

[Anonymous]

We are a two parent working household and we both switched careers to have full time WFH and it’s life-changing. There’s truly no chaos, we have a lot of extra time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully, some other parents can commiserate. I was back to the office today after a long weekend and am just exhausted by the chaos. DH and I are both hybrid and more days than not, we all have to get out of the house and do an approximately 45 min commute after getting the kids to school. We have a 7 and 4-year-old and a big dog. It feels like the house, kids, and work juggle is just impossible sometimes and we actually both have a ton of flexibility compared to what it could be. We have no family help though, and it feels like there is always something more I could/should be doing. My house is trashed, the dog wants a walk, my older child still wants to be hanging out with me, and I have work stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Is this just how it is?

You are not alone. I feel like my house was in better order when everyone worked FROM WORK. I work from home all wrong, too—instead of closing up at Xpm, I end up working until the minute the kids walk in the door from after-care.

I don’t always manage to start a load of laundry in the morning, but if I do you can bet I have a Teams meeting at 9am that I can barely hear due to the spin cycle. 🤦‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re right, it is exhausting - your kids are still pretty young. We can barely manage it and we both work from home! It is definitely tough.

Our best strategy is to not do everything together with the kids, so that we get down time. I do books, he does bath. I sleep in on saturdays, he gets a nap when the younger one naps and I have the older one to myself. Etc. Not ground breaking but we get by.

PS - Please keep your dog!

Good advice - definitely divide and conquer. And hire help if possible. A daily dog walker would make a big difference. As would someone who could watch the kids until bedtime once or twice a week. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Do. Not. Rehome. Dog.

Please do not.