Two working parent chaos

[Anonymous]

Hopefully, some other parents can commiserate. I was back to the office today after a long weekend and am just exhausted by the chaos. DH and I are both hybrid and more days than not, we all have to get out of the house and do an approximately 45 min commute after getting the kids to school. We have a 7 and 4-year-old and a big dog. It feels like the house, kids, and work juggle is just impossible sometimes and we actually both have a ton of flexibility compared to what it could be. We have no family help though, and it feels like there is always something more I could/should be doing. My house is trashed, the dog wants a walk, my older child still wants to be hanging out with me, and I have work stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Is this just how it is?

[Anonymous]

Get rid of dog. Outsource.

[Anonymous]

Bond with kid walking dog and HIRE HELP! Don't worry about being in a good position to hire help, do it now before you feel more overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

You aren’t alone. Life is hectic in this season.

Look for ways to dispel stress. Hire helpers for kids and/or dog. Talk to workplace about remote work or start looking for a remote job.

[Anonymous]

2-3 bedroom apartment and no dog would help.
We wake up 30 minutes before school starts. Driving to school takes 3 minutes. Used to live even closer.
Kids don't want to hang out with parents.

[Anonymous]

I was part-time when my kids were those ages. I just couldn’t handle it all. And we didn’t have a dog!

My kids are older now. I’m nominally full-time, 32 hrs a week, and moving to 40 hrs/wk soon. And we’re planning to get a dog . But the kids are 13 and 11 and it all seems more manageable now.

[Anonymous]

A 45 min commute “ after” taking the kids to school would suck. How many days a week are you both in the office?
Outsource what you can, set lower expectations for meals, if it takes more than 15 mins it’s not happening during the week.
I wouldn’t get rid of the dog, that’s just mean. You need to reprioritize what’s important on a daily/weekly basis and start there.
I work 12s. My dog gets a nice long hike on my days off but on work days gets a 10 min walk plus yard time.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I mean, lots of people on this site say all kinds of things about SAHMs but it eliminates a lot of the sources of stress you describe. Totally understand if people want to or need to work, we each get to make our choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2-3 bedroom apartment and no dog would help.
We wake up 30 minutes before school starts. Driving to school takes 3 minutes. Used to live even closer.
Kids don't want to hang out with parents.

Are you saying the bolded is your method for lessening the chaos? That’s sad and, in my experience, unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully, some other parents can commiserate. I was back to the office today after a long weekend and am just exhausted by the chaos. DH and I are both hybrid and more days than not, we all have to get out of the house and do an approximately 45 min commute after getting the kids to school. We have a 7 and 4-year-old and a big dog. It feels like the house, kids, and work juggle is just impossible sometimes and we actually both have a ton of flexibility compared to what it could be. We have no family help though, and it feels like there is always something more I could/should be doing. My house is trashed, the dog wants a walk, my older child still wants to be hanging out with me, and I have work stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Is this just how it is?

If job and money is good, be more organized and hire help. If job is stressful and low pay, take few years off to focus on making life work better for yourself, partner AND kids.

As far as dog goes, if you can't afford time, money and energy, rehome it to a family who got their act together.

[Anonymous]

How much does dog costs with food, health insurance, cleaning and walking time etc?

[Anonymous]

Two working parents? All parents are two working parents. If you are working elsewhere , someone else does childcare and house chores, if one is home, they do that work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of dog. Outsource.

I'd get rid of a kid before I'd get rid of my dog!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully, some other parents can commiserate. I was back to the office today after a long weekend and am just exhausted by the chaos. DH and I are both hybrid and more days than not, we all have to get out of the house and do an approximately 45 min commute after getting the kids to school. We have a 7 and 4-year-old and a big dog. It feels like the house, kids, and work juggle is just impossible sometimes and we actually both have a ton of flexibility compared to what it could be. We have no family help though, and it feels like there is always something more I could/should be doing. My house is trashed, the dog wants a walk, my older child still wants to be hanging out with me, and I have work stuff I need to do before tomorrow. Is this just how it is?

Are you equally as disorganized in your work?

[Anonymous]

You’re right, it is exhausting - your kids are still pretty young. We can barely manage it and we both work from home! It is definitely tough.

Our best strategy is to not do everything together with the kids, so that we get down time. I do books, he does bath. I sleep in on saturdays, he gets a nap when the younger one naps and I have the older one to myself. Etc. Not ground breaking but we get by.

PS - Please keep your dog!