Should we go the private school route?

[Anonymous]

You need to read the public school fora on dcum.

[Anonymous]

We just left a private to return to public middle school in Arlington. A lot of positives for private and the community was lovely, but despite the smaller class sizes and more individual student attention, the teachers were not experienced and/or didn't adequately manage the classroom, and the lesson plans ordinary/not rigorous.

We are now supplementing MS lessons with tutoring and planning to enroll in some outschool classes.

Honestly, after several years of private (As and Bs), DC tested slightly below average in reading and math!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Specifically this was my first post:

We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

And this was one of the first responses:

I see that as selfish. Why not invest your money in your kids?

I mean, really? Rather than engage intelligently, this poster chose to insult me. I didn’t insult anyone in MY post.

OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Specifically this was my first post:

We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

And this was one of the first responses:

I see that as selfish. Why not invest your money in your kids?

I mean, really? Rather than engage intelligently, this poster chose to insult me. I didn’t insult anyone in MY post.

OH MY GOD NOBODY CARES

+1
Make like Elsa and 'let it go!'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

[Anonymous]

If you send to private make sure it is one that provides rigorous academics and is able to provide differentiation and enrichment opportunities for above-grade level kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.

We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did.

What in the world? There is no scenario where your kid will be the "poor kid" in any private school in the DMV. And as a family on financial aid, even if you were "poor" but private school families, I think it's weird that you think your kid would be ostracized for it.

Agree. OP, it sounds like you are clueless about the HHI range of people who send their kids to private. We have half your HHI and our kids are not the “poor kids”. I hate that term. Also, I have never, ever heard my DCs talk about the wealth or lack thereof regarding classmates.

+1
After Christmas break last year I asked my daughter where her friends went for vacation. She rolled her eyes and said 'we don't talk about that because not everyone goes on nice vacations'. She was in 6th grade. I thought that was awesome!

Very nice! Your child sounds more thoughtful/empathetic than most adults.

No. it sounds like she will be a PC Nazi enforcing speech codes on college campuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.

We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did.

What in the world? There is no scenario where your kid will be the "poor kid" in any private school in the DMV. And as a family on financial aid, even if you were "poor" but private school families, I think it's weird that you think your kid would be ostracized for it.

Agree. OP, it sounds like you are clueless about the HHI range of people who send their kids to private. We have half your HHI and our kids are not the “poor kids”. I hate that term. Also, I have never, ever heard my DCs talk about the wealth or lack thereof regarding classmates.

+1
After Christmas break last year I asked my daughter where her friends went for vacation. She rolled her eyes and said 'we don't talk about that because not everyone goes on nice vacations'. She was in 6th grade. I thought that was awesome!

Very nice! Your child sounds more thoughtful/empathetic than most adults.

No. it sounds like she will be a PC Nazi enforcing speech codes on college campuses.

[Anonymous]

Cannot agree more with the above “PC Nazi enforcing speech codes” comment.

I guess because not everyone gets married we shouldn’t talk about weddings and because some people have infertility we shouldn’t talk about pregnancy or children. Heck, this whole board should’ve exist because it might offend someone who can’t send their kids to private school.

Why would this kind of attitude make anyone proud?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. it sounds like she will be a PC Nazi enforcing speech codes on college campuses.

Cry more, snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

[Anonymous]

My theory is that you're wrong and there's a higher percentage of stay-at-home parents in private school families (due to having more money on average) than in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that you're wrong and there's a higher percentage of stay-at-home parents in private school families (due to having more money on average) than in public.

Except they don’t. The average dual income family has more money than the average family with only one earner. Fact. Not theory. Look it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

You should look at the operation of the fathers club at our school, lots of dads who are very involved in their children’s lives and in the school community. I never saw anything like it at our public school, particularly among dads.

[Anonymous]

Parents (moms and dads) are actually over involved with their child’s life at my daughters’ private school. The kids need more room to breathe!