Should we go the private school route?
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Anonymous
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We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.
We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did. |
Anonymous
| $425K is not poor, including among private school families. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Best thing we ever did for our boys, and we earn much less than you. K-8s don’t have to be expensive, and the Catholic HS are quite diverse. You don’t have to go to a fancy private to get a better environment for your kid. |
Anonymous
| Go to a bunch of open houses and see how you like different schools. In your shoes I would go private but you need to see what works for your family. |
Anonymous
| Super intelligent children like your DS are better off at a magnet schools like TJ. Private would be too easy. |
Anonymous
| Only children should certainly go to private schools when the parents can afford it. You are wealthy OP. Spend it on your child. |
Anonymous
Smart parents don’t send their smart kids to TJs. |
Anonymous
| Please don't worry. Your child will not feel like "the poor kid" at area privates. Also, the fact you donate at all is what matters most (although they'd love a large donation if you could!). The schools want a high percentage of participation. |
Anonymous
You would not be a poor family at a private school. Sure, you aren't going to be the the over the top rich family either - but at our local public, there are plenty of over the top rich kids too. |
Anonymous
| PS - you don't have to donate large sums of money. Donate what you feel comfortable with but just donate "something". |
Anonymous
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My income is about $100K, and I get some child support.
My kids go to a school with a lot of very wealthy families. They do not feel ostracized. |
Anonymous
| My observation is that there are a disproportionate number of only children in private school because, of course, the $$$. (Balance that with the really wealthy who have non working moms and like four kids, which is also a disproportionate group.). I do think it makes for weird social dynamic at privates, particularly at elementary school. For my self, I find the parents are too involved, have too much time on their hands, have no sense of normal behavior for a child of that age, are over invested in their child’s sport/activity/whatever. Sorry, I know that’s not true for many and probably not true for you. But just keep in mind you are self selecting for this cohort potentially and be mindful of what you are getting into. |
Anonymous
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A few thoughts. 1. Elementary is always to easy for precocious children. It doesn't necessarily mean that an advanced and rigorous middle and high school curriculum will be easy. 2. What do you want most: the best chance for college admission, or the best K-12 schooling? Do NOT pay for private thinking that it's your ticket to selective colleges, your kid will be competing against very well-connected families that can offer special internships and opportunities to their kids. DO pay for a selective private, or move inbounds for a better school district, if you want a better education. 3. Do not pay for just any private if what you're aiming for is a good education. Most privates in the area are not challenging at all. You're looking at only a handful of schools that are worth 60-70K a year. You will not be among the poorer families, OP! You are wealthy even by DCUM standards. 4. Private schools may not offer your child the fun of neighborhood friendships. If you move to a good public, maybe your kid can walk to friends' houses and hang out in the neighborhood. But it's not a guarantee. |
Anonymous
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We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.
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Anonymous
You are fantastically high income, even by private school standards. Bang for the buck for tuition at a good school is going to be significantly better than new curtains or a private cruise to Alaska or whatever you're managing to spend the money on. Note that I said a "good school"; this is not necessarily the same as immediately jumping to whichever institution has the highest tuition in your local area. |