Should we go the private school route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

You’re not the moderator of this website.

The bottom line is this: when I scroll down the “recent topics” page and see a heading that interests me, I click on it. It doesn’t occur to me to see what forum it’s posted in first to make sure I’m “qualified” to comment on it.

Also, in this particular case, I can see why the OP chose to pose the question “should we go the private school route” on the private school forum. It’s the logical spot for it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she only wants to hear from private school parents. I mean, right now her kids are in public. It’s quite logical to assume that she would not mind hearing from public school parents who have also asked themselves the same question.

Finally, I have to ask: who started it? I simply gave my opinion, and the first response was from someone telling me I’m selfish for not sending my kids to private school just because I could afford to. It was an a$$hole move. It might benefit the OP, who has not yet been exposed to private school parents, to see how they respond to people that they disagree with.

Go away granny

Nah.

When you don’t like the message, the easy way out is to attack the messenger. Eh?

Your experiences twenty years ago are irrelevant. Run along, now.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.

We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did.

What in the world? There is no scenario where your kid will be the "poor kid" in any private school in the DMV. And as a family on financial aid, even if you were "poor" but private school families, I think it's weird that you think your kid would be ostracized for it.

Agree. OP, it sounds like you are clueless about the HHI range of people who send their kids to private. We have half your HHI and our kids are not the “poor kids”. I hate that term. Also, I have never, ever heard my DCs talk about the wealth or lack thereof regarding classmates.

+1
After Christmas break last year I asked my daughter where her friends went for vacation. She rolled her eyes and said 'we don't talk about that because not everyone goes on nice vacations'. She was in 6th grade. I thought that was awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

You’re not the moderator of this website.

The bottom line is this: when I scroll down the “recent topics” page and see a heading that interests me, I click on it. It doesn’t occur to me to see what forum it’s posted in first to make sure I’m “qualified” to comment on it.

Also, in this particular case, I can see why the OP chose to pose the question “should we go the private school route” on the private school forum. It’s the logical spot for it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she only wants to hear from private school parents. I mean, right now her kids are in public. It’s quite logical to assume that she would not mind hearing from public school parents who have also asked themselves the same question.

Finally, I have to ask: who started it? I simply gave my opinion, and the first response was from someone telling me I’m selfish for not sending my kids to private school just because I could afford to. It was an a$$hole move. It might benefit the OP, who has not yet been exposed to private school parents, to see how they respond to people that they disagree with.

Go away granny

This was a powerful response. Makes people want to sit up and take notice of what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super intelligent children like your DS are better off at a magnet schools like TJ. Private would be too easy.

....says the person with no private experience.

OP - my kids are like yours. Good private schools have the resources for differentiated learning. Your kid will get what he needs. We have a couple kids in DD grade (7th) in 10th grade advanced math, while there is an advanced class for 7th. We also find the English program to be superior in almost every way.

In terms of your concerns- you will be one of the core families. Everyone in DCUM-landia makes it sound like everyone is super rich. While there are some super rich families, the bulk (like 80%) are like yours - 1or 2 kids in private and an income between 200-700. And the peer group your kid will have will be one that values academic excellence, which I think is a bit diluted in publics, i.e., it's there, just not as prevalent in the same way. I found some of the kids in publics to be a bit arrogant/socially unaware of how they present their intelligence - this is very different in private school.

Which school?

Which school do my kids attend? No Big 3, but gets discussed regularly here

Which school where the public kids are smart but might lack humility or social awareness - think selective publics.

I'm not showing a public forum my hand. There aren't many people who switch to/from specific schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

You’re not the moderator of this website.

The bottom line is this: when I scroll down the “recent topics” page and see a heading that interests me, I click on it. It doesn’t occur to me to see what forum it’s posted in first to make sure I’m “qualified” to comment on it.

Also, in this particular case, I can see why the OP chose to pose the question “should we go the private school route” on the private school forum. It’s the logical spot for it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean she only wants to hear from private school parents. I mean, right now her kids are in public. It’s quite logical to assume that she would not mind hearing from public school parents who have also asked themselves the same question.

Finally, I have to ask: who started it? I simply gave my opinion, and the first response was from someone telling me I’m selfish for not sending my kids to private school just because I could afford to. It was an a$$hole move. It might benefit the OP, who has not yet been exposed to private school parents, to see how they respond to people that they disagree with.

Go away granny

It might even be brunch granny. Checks a lot of boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super intelligent children like your DS are better off at a magnet schools like TJ. Private would be too easy.

....says the person with no private experience.

OP - my kids are like yours. Good private schools have the resources for differentiated learning. Your kid will get what he needs. We have a couple kids in DD grade (7th) in 10th grade advanced math, while there is an advanced class for 7th. We also find the English program to be superior in almost every way.

In terms of your concerns- you will be one of the core families. Everyone in DCUM-landia makes it sound like everyone is super rich. While there are some super rich families, the bulk (like 80%) are like yours - 1or 2 kids in private and an income between 200-700. And the peer group your kid will have will be one that values academic excellence, which I think is a bit diluted in publics, i.e., it's there, just not as prevalent in the same way. I found some of the kids in publics to be a bit arrogant/socially unaware of how they present their intelligence - this is very different in private school.

Wondering how you know the PP has no private school experience. And what experience you have of public schools.

We've done both.

[Anonymous]

I'm never going to try to convince anyone to go to my private school, there are so many qualified applicants who can't get in we certainly don't need any more. I don't want them adding more spots either, we are paying a lot to get away from overcrowding and a school for the masses.

If you're interested in private school go to a bunch of open houses and see for yourself what the differences are. Many people think it's not worth their money or they can't afford it and they head to public school. I'm glad there are a lot of choices out there for all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds like you could afford to give them a better education, which is worth way more than money. You don't lose an education through inflation, or when the stock or property market crashes. Education and the ability to make good decisions ricochets through the generations and doesn't come with a dollar sign. It's not what you value, we get that.

You really drank the kool aid, huh? You have nothing tangible to back up anything that you just said.

The tangible is actually in all the stats. Private school kids are statistically more represented at all levels of leadership. About 8% of kids attend a private school in the US, but look at any industry or society and senior leaders are more likely than 8% to have attended private schools. Many of those leaders have a combination of public/private experience. My kids do and many others on this forum also do. It's not all or nothing, some of us are actually balanced and well rounded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super intelligent children like your DS are better off at a magnet schools like TJ. Private would be too easy.

....says the person with no private experience.

OP - my kids are like yours. Good private schools have the resources for differentiated learning. Your kid will get what he needs. We have a couple kids in DD grade (7th) in 10th grade advanced math, while there is an advanced class for 7th. We also find the English program to be superior in almost every way.

In terms of your concerns- you will be one of the core families. Everyone in DCUM-landia makes it sound like everyone is super rich. While there are some super rich families, the bulk (like 80%) are like yours - 1or 2 kids in private and an income between 200-700. And the peer group your kid will have will be one that values academic excellence, which I think is a bit diluted in publics, i.e., it's there, just not as prevalent in the same way. I found some of the kids in publics to be a bit arrogant/socially unaware of how they present their intelligence - this is very different in private school.

Wondering how you know the PP has no private school experience. And what experience you have of public schools.

We've done both.

A lot of people have done both including the PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds like you could afford to give them a better education, which is worth way more than money. You don't lose an education through inflation, or when the stock or property market crashes. Education and the ability to make good decisions ricochets through the generations and doesn't come with a dollar sign. It's not what you value, we get that.

You really drank the kool aid, huh? You have nothing tangible to back up anything that you just said.

The tangible is actually in all the stats. Private school kids are statistically more represented at all levels of leadership. About 8% of kids attend a private school in the US, but look at any industry or society and senior leaders are more likely than 8% to have attended private schools. Many of those leaders have a combination of public/private experience. My kids do and many others on this forum also do. It's not all or nothing, some of us are actually balanced and well rounded.

Association and causation are two different things. Surely your kids were taught that in private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm never going to try to convince anyone to go to my private school, there are so many qualified applicants who can't get in we certainly don't need any more. I don't want them adding more spots either, we are paying a lot to get away from overcrowding and a school for the masses.

If you're interested in private school go to a bunch of open houses and see for yourself what the differences are. Many people think it's not worth their money or they can't afford it and they head to public school. I'm glad there are a lot of choices out there for all of us.

Best answer on this forum. Couldn't agree more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds like you could afford to give them a better education, which is worth way more than money. You don't lose an education through inflation, or when the stock or property market crashes. Education and the ability to make good decisions ricochets through the generations and doesn't come with a dollar sign. It's not what you value, we get that.

You really drank the kool aid, huh? You have nothing tangible to back up anything that you just said.

The tangible is actually in all the stats. Private school kids are statistically more represented at all levels of leadership. About 8% of kids attend a private school in the US, but look at any industry or society and senior leaders are more likely than 8% to have attended private schools. Many of those leaders have a combination of public/private experience. My kids do and many others on this forum also do. It's not all or nothing, some of us are actually balanced and well rounded.

Association and causation are two different things. Surely your kids were taught that in private school.

It doesn't matter if it's association or causation if you think about it - one in the same at the root.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds like you could afford to give them a better education, which is worth way more than money. You don't lose an education through inflation, or when the stock or property market crashes. Education and the ability to make good decisions ricochets through the generations and doesn't come with a dollar sign. It's not what you value, we get that.

You really drank the kool aid, huh? You have nothing tangible to back up anything that you just said.

The tangible is actually in all the stats. Private school kids are statistically more represented at all levels of leadership. About 8% of kids attend a private school in the US, but look at any industry or society and senior leaders are more likely than 8% to have attended private schools. Many of those leaders have a combination of public/private experience. My kids do and many others on this forum also do. It's not all or nothing, some of us are actually balanced and well rounded.

Association and causation are two different things. Surely your kids were taught that in private school.

It doesn't matter if it's association or causation if you think about it - one in the same at the root.

Tell that to a scientist and they’ll laugh you out of the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm never going to try to convince anyone to go to my private school, there are so many qualified applicants who can't get in we certainly don't need any more. I don't want them adding more spots either, we are paying a lot to get away from overcrowding and a school for the masses.

If you're interested in private school go to a bunch of open houses and see for yourself what the differences are. Many people think it's not worth their money or they can't afford it and they head to public school. I'm glad there are a lot of choices out there for all of us.

Best answer on this forum. Couldn't agree more.

Yes to this.

This thread has turned into petty bickering between a public school parent who has become a troll and others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

That’s because public around here was still relatively OKAY TWENTY YEARS AGO

Things have changed and that an understatement

They made $800k in the 90s — can you imagine how good their life has been???

It was actually the early 2000s, and the actual amount was in the 900s. Our public school (and top college) educated kids are now raising their own kids in the DMV (in the houses we helped them buy) and are also using the public schools. We’re all close and they rely on us a lot for child care so we have a pretty good feel for how the public schools are and remain satisfied with them.

If you’re truly wealthy, God Bless You. But if you’re not, and if your kids fall somewhere in the wide band of “normal,” it’s very hard to justify spending tens of thousands of dollars a year on private schools. There’s just not a good or even measurable enough return. It’s all about the parenting and the peer group - not the school.

So did your kids get locked out of bathrooms? I’m guessing your grandchildren are still in elementary school, probably Jamestown or Haycock, and have no inkling what is ahead.

Go read about locked bathrooms and desk throwing 3rd graders as the norm