Should we go the private school route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that you're wrong and there's a higher percentage of stay-at-home parents in private school families (due to having more money on average) than in public.

Except they don’t. The average dual income family has more money than the average family with only one earner. Fact. Not theory. Look it up.

That's quite the non sequitur.

[Anonymous]

I have one kid in public and one kid in private. My public school kid is the type of kid who would do well anywhere. My private school kid benefits from smaller class sizes and individualized attention.

Private school is 30 min away while the local public is 5 min away. Socially it is easier for public school kid to hang out with his friends. This is a trade off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

Nope. It is because we want to spend our time with kids having fun, and we want our kids to enjoy life outside of school. Most UMC public school kids are in Kumon or essentially being homeschooled after school to compensate for what the school does not teach them.

[Anonymous]

Switched both DCs to private after subpar experience in our supposedly amazing public. It’s a stretch for us financially, but I know it’s the right choice for our family. The teachers know my kids, they know us, the schools are responsive when a policy needs tweaking (extremely important during covid), my kids have athletic opportunities they would not have had at public, they are challenged AND supported academically. The schools aren’t perfect, but they are genuinely invested in my children’s growth in a way our “amazing” public was not. We have a lot of friends still in public—many of whom have more money than we do—so I hear a lot about what’s happening at their schools and I am confident that it would not work for our family. You have to be realistic when looking at privates though because if you go into expecting private to be perfect, a parenting surrogate, or a guaranteed path to an Ivy League school, you will be disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

Nope. It is because we want to spend our time with kids having fun, and we want our kids to enjoy life outside of school. Most UMC public school kids are in Kumon or essentially being homeschooled after school to compensate for what the school does not teach them.

Except they’re not. Maybe in your circle of obsessed weirdos, but the overwhelming majority of public school families are not supplementing jack shit. Plus you’re not out “having fun” with the kids anyway. You’re trying to shoe horn as many extracurricular activities into their already crazy stressful lives as possible so they can get into colleges that are ranked highly enough that you can brag about them at parties and feel good about yourself. You’re not fooling anybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

Is this how you justify not tending your career?

[Anonymous]

I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

Nope. It is because we want to spend our time with kids having fun, and we want our kids to enjoy life outside of school. Most UMC public school kids are in Kumon or essentially being homeschooled after school to compensate for what the school does not teach them.

So true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

If you want the Ivies and are applying for high school, private school might deliver. For elementary, it’s almost always a waste of money, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Hopefully you did not give them any of your genes.

“I did a thing 20 years ago, therefore you should do it now even though the environment has changed immensely” is such an idiotic thing to say.

Yet another private school parent on the defensive.

My theory is that many private school parents put their kids in private because the parents are so busy and so career focused and have so little time to spend with their kids that they go private to assuage their guilt. They equate spending lots of money on their kids with good parenting. But there’s no substitute for actual time and attention. That’s what our kids got.

But, hey, it’s just a theory.

Is this how you justify not tending your career?

Huh? What kind of “career” do you have writing like that? Your post doesn’t make any sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

If you want the Ivies and are applying for high school, private school might deliver. For elementary, it’s almost always a waste of money, but you do you.

It’s important to me to send my kids to a small single sex school that fits with my religious values, why would private be a waste of money? I understand that they could be reading the exact same books in my local public school but I am mostly concerned with the different daily experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

If you want the Ivies and are applying for high school, private school might deliver. For elementary, it’s almost always a waste of money, but you do you.

It’s important to me to send my kids to a small single sex school that fits with my religious values, why would private be a waste of money? I understand that they could be reading the exact same books in my local public school but I am mostly concerned with the different daily experience.

But this isn’t about you and your religious values. The OP was asking about academics for his or her gifted 4th grader. Pound for pound most private schools are not worth it academically compared to excellent public schools particularly magnets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

If you want the Ivies and are applying for high school, private school might deliver. For elementary, it’s almost always a waste of money, but you do you.

It’s important to me to send my kids to a small single sex school that fits with my religious values, why would private be a waste of money? I understand that they could be reading the exact same books in my local public school but I am mostly concerned with the different daily experience.

But this isn’t about you and your religious values. The OP was asking about academics for his or her gifted 4th grader. Pound for pound most private schools are not worth it academically compared to excellent public schools particularly magnets.

So why do you think so many families chose to go that route? They all have bad info?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciate all of the people saying how awful private school is, the parents are terrible people and the children are a mess with no hope for successful futures.

My kids are applying to a few very selective private schools for next year and the competition to get in is fierce. If you could help convince the rest of the applicant pool that we’re all idiots for wasting $50k per year I’d be grateful.

If you want the Ivies and are applying for high school, private school might deliver. For elementary, it’s almost always a waste of money, but you do you.

It’s important to me to send my kids to a small single sex school that fits with my religious values, why would private be a waste of money? I understand that they could be reading the exact same books in my local public school but I am mostly concerned with the different daily experience.

But this isn’t about you and your religious values. The OP was asking about academics for his or her gifted 4th grader. Pound for pound most private schools are not worth it academically compared to excellent public schools particularly magnets.

So why do you think so many families chose to go that route? They all have bad info?

Probably for the same reason I did: 1) smaller classes, 2) more/better specials, 3) a better community of peers, 4)the hope that throwing money on it would provide a better education.

Look, I’ve done both private and public. I wish private were academically superior! That would be so much easier and more convenient. But in my experience good public plus private extracurricular enrichment was the way to go for academics.

[Anonymous]

Extracurricular enrichment completely underestimates the opportunity cost of time.