Should we go the private school route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds fair. I'm doing all that + private school and plan on leaving both kids a low 8 figure inheritance( since we are keeping score)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

I agree with this analysis. I think this poster also wanted to make the supposed case that she could have afforded it, but, but,but....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

I agree with this analysis. I think this poster also wanted to make the supposed case that she could have afforded it, but, but,but....

Yes and I could afford a Ferrari but I’ve chosen to drive a cheap car. I rarely hit up the Ferrari owner sites to tell them I could be one of them but prefer my Subaru. But I suppose people are a bit more defensive when they’ve chosen not to pay more for their kids’ education.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely do it with one kid. We have two with a similar financial profile and are planning to move our second over in a couple years. For us, it's just night and day better. Our public school system is overcrowded and content with mediocrity. So many kids aren't even meeting basic standards, so they don't have the resources to support my kids who are exceeding those standards. I also like the private school's curriculum better. Not just focused on math and reading, but also science, music and art several times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

I agree with this analysis. I think this poster also wanted to make the supposed case that she could have afforded it, but, but,but....

Yes and I could afford a Ferrari but I’ve chosen to drive a cheap car. I rarely hit up the Ferrari owner sites to tell them I could be one of them but prefer my Subaru. But I suppose people are a bit more defensive when they’ve chosen not to pay more for their kids’ education.

Good one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

You have lucky kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

People troll the private school school forum all of the time who either never considered private school or think it’s morally wrong or can’t afford it or had some random bad experience tangentially related to a private school. It’s bizarre. I never wander into the kids with special needs forum and answer every question with “my child does not have special needs!” If you have no connection to private school this forum is not for you, move along.

And private school parents do the same on the public school forums: “SO glad our children are in private!” “This is why our children are in private!” When the thread has zero to do with private school. It goes both ways. It’s a public forum, not a gated community. I suppose you could offer the mod $50k/yr to see if he could make it exclusive.

[Anonymous]

We did public K-8 and put them in private HS. I have a Senior and Sophomore. Our elementary school was awesome and better than most privates. Middle school was underwhelming.

BUT, neighbors/friends have told me that the public school system really went downhill and it's not the same as when my kids were in those schools anymore. Covid really did a number on them and they never bounced back.

We have a salary similar to yours. That's not a small HHI. We pay $30k each for them--$60k/year. But, again, we started in 9th so it's doable.

[Anonymous]

It’s all about priorities. Yes, you can afford it. But at your income it will be far more noticeable than if you were two biglaw partners. You’ll probably have to work an extra year or two for the same amount of retirement savings. To me, that is totally worth it, especially with an only child. But others might disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My observation is that there are a disproportionate number of only children in private school because, of course, the $$$. (Balance that with the really wealthy who have non working moms and like four kids, which is also a disproportionate group.). I do think it makes for weird social dynamic at privates, particularly at elementary school. For my self, I find the parents are too involved, have too much time on their hands, have no sense of normal behavior for a child of that age, are over invested in their child’s sport/activity/whatever. Sorry, I know that’s not true for many and probably not true for you. But just keep in mind you are self selecting for this cohort potentially and be mindful of what you are getting into.

This is really anecdotal and I wouldn’t out much stock into it except the caution about the cohort. You can’t always guess at the culture of a grade or parent cohort within a school but it can make or break your experience. If grades have <50 kids, ask a lot of questions about the gender ratio and how many kids are new/lifers.

I find at our private school it’s increasingly unusual to find only children. My DD is the sole only child in her grade of 40 kids and in the grades above and below her. I spoke with a 10th grade parent recently and her DD’s class was 1/3rd only children.

I think weird social dynamics are not from parents of only children but more from parents of any number of kids seeking out a smaller environment or more attention or more nurturing. A lot of the kids in my DD’s class who need more attention would not quite qualify for services in a public school but do have social challenges related to things like anxiety, a trauma at home, being neurodiverse, etc.

[Anonymous]

We sent our kids to both private and public. The teachers in private school weren't any better - in fact the public school teachers were better in our good school district for the most part. In the public school with more classes per grade, there were more smart kids around who were doing well in activities like mathcounts, science fairs, robotics and TJ admissions. The public school provided more levels of math - the private school couldn't/wouldn't provide differentiation.

I think there's a lot of magical thinking about what a private school will do for your child. You might be better off spending your money on after school enrichment classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A few thoughts.

1. Elementary is always to easy for precocious children. It doesn't necessarily mean that an advanced and rigorous middle and high school curriculum will be easy.

2. What do you want most: the best chance for college admission, or the best K-12 schooling? Do NOT pay for private thinking that it's your ticket to selective colleges, your kid will be competing against very well-connected families that can offer special internships and opportunities to their kids. DO pay for a selective private, or move inbounds for a better school district, if you want a better education.

3. Do not pay for just any private if what you're aiming for is a good education. Most privates in the area are not challenging at all. You're looking at only a handful of schools that are worth 60-70K a year. You will not be among the poorer families, OP! You are wealthy even by DCUM standards.

4. Private schools may not offer your child the fun of neighborhood friendships. If you move to a good public, maybe your kid can walk to friends' houses and hang out in the neighborhood. But it's not a guarantee.

There are no day schools in the area that are at or above $60K.

Total cost of attendance per year over the next few years? We're not talking just tuition, PP. All inclusive, the best schools are at least 60K now, and costs will rise every year.

They definitely rise every year. Our daughter's will likely hit $60K before she's done in a couple of years. As for total cost, unless you are including contributions, not there yet. Can't count stuff you'd have paid for in public school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

It’s a free country. I can participate in any forum I want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

Sounds fair. I'm doing all that + private school and plan on leaving both kids a low 8 figure inheritance( since we are keeping score)

No, you’re not. You’re full of shit.