Should we go the private school route?

[Anonymous]

Our HHI is lower than yours and my only child attends a private K-8. We started during covid and have been really pleased with the teachers, academics, and specials. DD had been largely ignored in public and has blossomed in a small classroom.

We have encountered the "poor kid" thing with regard to extracurricular and vacations - not ostracized at all but DD notices the differences in what we can do and can be disappointed. We're also planning to return to public for HS which I expect will be a shock.

I agree with PP you should visit some schools and see what you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

It also does a kid good to meet with the teacher in small groups, which IME is not happening for smart well behaved kids in public. The crowding and resource challenges are different than they were 20 years ago.
Would OP's kid be just fine in public? Probably yes. Can private school do better? Also probably yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

We can still judge you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super intelligent children like your DS are better off at a magnet schools like TJ. Private would be too easy.

Smart parents don’t send their smart kids to TJs.

Also, the kid is in 4th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A few thoughts.

1. Elementary is always to easy for precocious children. It doesn't necessarily mean that an advanced and rigorous middle and high school curriculum will be easy.

2. What do you want most: the best chance for college admission, or the best K-12 schooling? Do NOT pay for private thinking that it's your ticket to selective colleges, your kid will be competing against very well-connected families that can offer special internships and opportunities to their kids. DO pay for a selective private, or move inbounds for a better school district, if you want a better education.

3. Do not pay for just any private if what you're aiming for is a good education. Most privates in the area are not challenging at all. You're looking at only a handful of schools that are worth 60-70K a year. You will not be among the poorer families, OP! You are wealthy even by DCUM standards.

4. Private schools may not offer your child the fun of neighborhood friendships. If you move to a good public, maybe your kid can walk to friends' houses and hang out in the neighborhood. But it's not a guarantee.

There are no day schools in the area that are at or above $60K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.

We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did.

What in the world? There is no scenario where your kid will be the "poor kid" in any private school in the DMV. And as a family on financial aid, even if you were "poor" but private school families, I think it's weird that you think your kid would be ostracized for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

I see that as selfish, no offense. If you have extra money, why not invest it in your kids?

Let’s see. I paid for my kids to live in a very nice neighborhood and attend top colleges. I also paid for their weddings, provided down payments for their homes, routinely take them on vacations, with my spouse have provided them with so much free and loving child care that their kids have never once had to have a nanny or go to day care, and I will be leaving each one of them a seven figure inheritance.

I’d say my kids have done pretty well by me (and my spouse).

That’s all great and you sound like a dedicated parent. I don’t understand why you’re on the private school forum advocating your choices when OP is specifically asking parents who have kids in privates. This isn’t a general education forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A few thoughts.

1. Elementary is always to easy for precocious children. It doesn't necessarily mean that an advanced and rigorous middle and high school curriculum will be easy.

2. What do you want most: the best chance for college admission, or the best K-12 schooling? Do NOT pay for private thinking that it's your ticket to selective colleges, your kid will be competing against very well-connected families that can offer special internships and opportunities to their kids. DO pay for a selective private, or move inbounds for a better school district, if you want a better education.

3. Do not pay for just any private if what you're aiming for is a good education. Most privates in the area are not challenging at all. You're looking at only a handful of schools that are worth 60-70K a year. You will not be among the poorer families, OP! You are wealthy even by DCUM standards.

4. Private schools may not offer your child the fun of neighborhood friendships. If you move to a good public, maybe your kid can walk to friends' houses and hang out in the neighborhood. But it's not a guarantee.

There are no day schools in the area that are at or above $60K.

Total cost of attendance per year over the next few years? We're not talking just tuition, PP. All inclusive, the best schools are at least 60K now, and costs will rise every year.

[Anonymous]

It's probably a good choice if you find one that's a good fit. We put ours (also elementary) into private 2 years ago and they flourished. Small class sizes helps I think. Our third grader has 11 kids in their classroom, and about 22 in the whole grade so we know all the kids and parents well. With personal attention, the teacher can give extra work if your child is bored. In our private, they have a reading specialist and math specialist, which our public had also, but in this case the specialists have a lot fewer "kids" to cover so you get more personal focus.

At your income, you can easily make it work, and you'll be mid-range on income. Remember at that younger age, a lot of parents are earlier in their career so they're not always pulling in the massive bucks anywya, compared to parents at the high shcool level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in northern Virginia and have one child, a son in fourth grade. He finishes his work early and is often bored, scores advanced on the standardized tests, and is in the gifted program. Our elementary school is fine, but quite overcrowded and the teachers spend a lot of time on the students who are struggling, so students like our son don't get much attention. Our big concern comes in sixth grade, when we are zoned for a not-great middle school. The high school is better, but not great.

We had never really thought about private school until the past few months. Our HHI is 425k. Our mortgage plus interest/taxes is about $4,100/month, and our only other fixed monthly expense is $800/month in student loans. By most American standards I know our HHI is high, but for the DC area -- and particularly the DC-area private school families -- it is not that high. $50k/month would not put us in debt, but we'd definitely need to reprioritize a whole lot of things like house renovations, vacations, etc. I'm also concerned that he would be the ostracized "poor kid" in a private school, and we wouldn't be able to give very large donations, etc. Interested if others in our income range have faced this decision and what they did.

What in the world? There is no scenario where your kid will be the "poor kid" in any private school in the DMV. And as a family on financial aid, even if you were "poor" but private school families, I think it's weird that you think your kid would be ostracized for it.

Agree. OP, it sounds like you are clueless about the HHI range of people who send their kids to private. We have half your HHI and our kids are not the “poor kids”. I hate that term. Also, I have never, ever heard my DCs talk about the wealth or lack thereof regarding classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A few thoughts.

1. Elementary is always to easy for precocious children. It doesn't necessarily mean that an advanced and rigorous middle and high school curriculum will be easy.

2. What do you want most: the best chance for college admission, or the best K-12 schooling? Do NOT pay for private thinking that it's your ticket to selective colleges, your kid will be competing against very well-connected families that can offer special internships and opportunities to their kids. DO pay for a selective private, or move inbounds for a better school district, if you want a better education.

3. Do not pay for just any private if what you're aiming for is a good education. Most privates in the area are not challenging at all. You're looking at only a handful of schools that are worth 60-70K a year. You will not be among the poorer families, OP! You are wealthy even by DCUM standards.

4. Private schools may not offer your child the fun of neighborhood friendships. If you move to a good public, maybe your kid can walk to friends' houses and hang out in the neighborhood. But it's not a guarantee.

There are no day schools in the area that are at or above $60K.

Total cost of attendance per year over the next few years? We're not talking just tuition, PP. All inclusive, the best schools are at least 60K now, and costs will rise every year.

DP here. Ours is $53k, meals included. We drive them to school, but bus would add a few thousand onto that if we opted for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We made double that amount twenty years ago, also lived in NOVA, and it never occurred to us to send our smart kids (and they sound a lot like your smart kid) to private. I’m sure your middle school and high schools are just fine, and it’ll do your kid some good to be exposed to different levels of intellectual ability, family and cultural backgrounds, and economic diversity.

Uh, NOVA is quite different than 20 years ago. You have no idea how public schools are different now. And I say this as a product of FCPS schools.

[Anonymous]

Esp if MS sucks go get him into 5th pvt school as it will help transitioning into 6th. We did it and it worked great. You have to find the right private. It's just not all public sucks and all pvt are better but in private you are likely to have a few things public will def not have. Including - none of that equality for all crap which essentially has schools cater only to the bottom students to bring them up. It includes more progressive ways of teaching aka not relying in on SOL testing. The class sizes will be smaller and it's just a more personal approach in general. I really think your HHI supports tuition for 1 kid. Seriously. We do 400k and can still take vacations with 2 kids. You aren't going to retire early but you can def do it with 1 kid! The other consideration is just because you do MS years doesn't mean you can't return to public for HS.