Why are sleepovers so important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

Or what’s sketchy about older siblings, or live in relatives like grandpa? In those posters view, everyone is assumed to be a sexual predator or criminal. I honestly pity them and their kids. They can keep their children under house arrest, it’s a great way to raise well adjusted adults.

Peer to peer sexual abuse is greatly on the rise. Children now have access to websites that they shouldn’t and they get curious. Time spent away from adults with no supervision behind closed doors is absolutely the type of situation you want to avoid in this day and age. Prime time for peer sexual abuse is 12-14 years old and it is rarely reported due to peer pressure and shame. But the devastating effects are long lasting.

My kids have get togethers with friends during the day in common areas with an adult in earshot. These are the times we live in today. I pity the kids of parents who’d rather keep their head in the sand than face and adapt to the dangers of this changing world.

You seem to have had a history of sexual abuse and projecting it into thinking this is the norm. That’s on top of some deep seated control issues that haven’t been resolved. I hope you realize you’re modeling a very unhealthy behavior to your kids.

Older siblings are sketchy??? Oh dear! They can also be a good influence of maturity and responsibility, taking care and supporting their younger siblings.

Single parents are prone to being promiscuous and have loud sex during sleepovers??? Facepalm!

With that healthy dose of bigotry I’m really hoping your type in nowhere near my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

Or what’s sketchy about older siblings, or live in relatives like grandpa? In those posters view, everyone is assumed to be a sexual predator or criminal. I honestly pity them and their kids. They can keep their children under house arrest, it’s a great way to raise well adjusted adults.

Person who asked about single parents here.

Older siblings are sketchy. They are usually not supervised as well as the younger ones( and this is fine because they are older), and they
watch and say stuff that is not age appropriate for younger kids.

I grew up with older siblings and I matured much faster than my children are now( saw all the boyfriend and girlfriend drama, heard conversations I shouldn’t have etc). Nothing necessarily wrong with it, but it's not what I want for my children.

Lol wait what? How could you possibly avoid this? Only by having an only child….or somehow making sure you had one set of twins and then no other children??

NP here. I’m ok with older sisters, but if there are any older brothers, my child is not allowed to sleep over at their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

Or what’s sketchy about older siblings, or live in relatives like grandpa? In those posters view, everyone is assumed to be a sexual predator or criminal. I honestly pity them and their kids. They can keep their children under house arrest, it’s a great way to raise well adjusted adults.

Person who asked about single parents here.

Older siblings are sketchy. They are usually not supervised as well as the younger ones( and this is fine because they are older), and they
watch and say stuff that is not age appropriate for younger kids.

I grew up with older siblings and I matured much faster than my children are now( saw all the boyfriend and girlfriend drama, heard conversations I shouldn’t have etc). Nothing necessarily wrong with it, but it's not what I want for my children.

Lol wait what? How could you possibly avoid this? Only by having an only child….or somehow making sure you had one set of twins and then no other children??

NP here. I’m ok with older sisters, but if there are any older brothers, my child is not allowed to sleep over at their home.

That would be awesome, I wouldn’t want to have my daughter surrounded by bigots that think her brothers are sexual predators. You should make that clear to your daughter’s friends, just so there’s no confusion on what your thoughts are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You parents are INSANE.

Honestly, it is scary how you come up with every worse case scenario in your head and think you are helping your kids. And you wonder why depression, anxiety are at an all time high and socialization and street smarts are at an all time low in teens/young adults.

You are going to be the parents that actually prefer when your adult child calls you from college 3 weeks in, begging to come home. One of my DD’s 4 roommates freshman year cried for 3 days straight and went home before she went one class.

We are stunting our youth with helicopters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

Or what’s sketchy about older siblings, or live in relatives like grandpa? In those posters view, everyone is assumed to be a sexual predator or criminal. I honestly pity them and their kids. They can keep their children under house arrest, it’s a great way to raise well adjusted adults.

Peer to peer sexual abuse is greatly on the rise. Children now have access to websites that they shouldn’t and they get curious. Time spent away from adults with no supervision behind closed doors is absolutely the type of situation you want to avoid in this day and age. Prime time for peer sexual abuse is 12-14 years old and it is rarely reported due to peer pressure and shame. But the devastating effects are long lasting.

My kids have get togethers with friends during the day in common areas with an adult in earshot. These are the times we live in today. I pity the kids of parents who’d rather keep their head in the sand than face and adapt to the dangers of this changing world.

You seem to have had a history of sexual abuse and projecting it into thinking this is the norm. That’s on top of some deep seated control issues that haven’t been resolved. I hope you realize you’re modeling a very unhealthy behavior to your kids.

Older siblings are sketchy??? Oh dear! They can also be a good influence of maturity and responsibility, taking care and supporting their younger siblings.

Single parents are prone to being promiscuous and have loud sex during sleepovers??? Facepalm!

With that healthy dose of bigotry I’m really hoping your type in nowhere near my kid.

You seem to have a history of Fs in reading comprehension. Who are you responding to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You parents are INSANE.

Honestly, it is scary how you come up with every worse case scenario in your head and think you are helping your kids. And you wonder why depression, anxiety are at an all time high and socialization and street smarts are at an all time low in teens/young adults.

You are going to be the parents that actually prefer when your adult child calls you from college 3 weeks in, begging to come home. One of my DD’s 4 roommates freshman year cried for 3 days straight and went home before she went one class.

We are stunting our youth with helicopters.

I’d rather my kid commute to college, thanks. It would save a ton of money on dorm fees. Sleepovers are relatively new (as other posters have pointed out). And yet, previous generations did just fine without them. Sleepovers carry a ton of risk with very little gain. If someone told you, there is a 25% risk of catching ebola at a sleepover, you would be ok with sending your kid? 1 in 4 girls are molested. 1 in 4!!!! But hey, you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You parents are INSANE.

Honestly, it is scary how you come up with every worse case scenario in your head and think you are helping your kids. And you wonder why depression, anxiety are at an all time high and socialization and street smarts are at an all time low in teens/young adults.

You are going to be the parents that actually prefer when your adult child calls you from college 3 weeks in, begging to come home. One of my DD’s 4 roommates freshman year cried for 3 days straight and went home before she went one class.

We are stunting our youth with helicopters.

I’d rather my kid commute to college, thanks. It would save a ton of money on dorm fees. Sleepovers are relatively new (as other posters have pointed out). And yet, previous generations did just fine without them. Sleepovers carry a ton of risk with very little gain. If someone told you, there is a 25% risk of catching ebola at a sleepover, you would be ok with sending your kid? 1 in 4 girls are molested. 1 in 4!!!! But hey, you do you.

1 in 4 kids are not molested at a sleepover. You are deranged.

17% overall and only 10% of those are by a stranger or in another house. 60% are by family friends and babysitters that you invite into your own home or school, scouts, or coaches. Oh and 30% are your own family members.

Sounds like your kids are safer in someone else’s home, than yours.

Do you let your kids in cars because it’s the second highest cause of death in kids. What about school? Firearms is #1 cause of childhood deaths.

My guess is your kids do both.

Get over your crazy fears OP. You need therapy. Have your kids go to community college and live in your basement until they are 30yrs old. Sounds completely healthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You parents are INSANE.

Honestly, it is scary how you come up with every worse case scenario in your head and think you are helping your kids. And you wonder why depression, anxiety are at an all time high and socialization and street smarts are at an all time low in teens/young adults.

You are going to be the parents that actually prefer when your adult child calls you from college 3 weeks in, begging to come home. One of my DD’s 4 roommates freshman year cried for 3 days straight and went home before she went one class.

We are stunting our youth with helicopters.

I’d rather my kid commute to college, thanks. It would save a ton of money on dorm fees. Sleepovers are relatively new (as other posters have pointed out). And yet, previous generations did just fine without them. Sleepovers carry a ton of risk with very little gain. If someone told you, there is a 25% risk of catching ebola at a sleepover, you would be ok with sending your kid? 1 in 4 girls are molested. 1 in 4!!!! But hey, you do you.

1 in 4 kids are not molested at a sleepover. You are deranged.

17% overall and only 10% of those are by a stranger or in another house. 60% are by family friends and babysitters that you invite into your own home or school, scouts, or coaches. Oh and 30% are your own family members.

Sounds like your kids are safer in someone else’s home, than yours.

Do you let your kids in cars because it’s the second highest cause of death in kids. What about school? Firearms is #1 cause of childhood deaths.

My guess is your kids do both.

Get over your crazy fears OP. You need therapy. Have your kids go to community college and live in your basement until they are 30yrs old. Sounds completely healthy

And that 17% is not at sleepovers. It is the chance any girl is molested OR sexually assaulted before the age of 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You parents are INSANE.

Honestly, it is scary how you come up with every worse case scenario in your head and think you are helping your kids. And you wonder why depression, anxiety are at an all time high and socialization and street smarts are at an all time low in teens/young adults.

You are going to be the parents that actually prefer when your adult child calls you from college 3 weeks in, begging to come home. One of my DD’s 4 roommates freshman year cried for 3 days straight and went home before she went one class.

We are stunting our youth with helicopters.

I’d rather my kid commute to college, thanks. It would save a ton of money on dorm fees. Sleepovers are relatively new (as other posters have pointed out). And yet, previous generations did just fine without them. Sleepovers carry a ton of risk with very little gain. If someone told you, there is a 25% risk of catching ebola at a sleepover, you would be ok with sending your kid? 1 in 4 girls are molested. 1 in 4!!!! But hey, you do you.

This is so dumb! 1 in 4 girls are molested at sleepovers? You’re just conflating two totally different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleepovers and began hosting and attending in third grade. But by HS, these took a darker turn with alcohol brought in, sneaking out, etc.

Completely understand not allowing sleepovers, OP. I’m a mom 3 with one DS and it was my DS who had more sleepovers than my girls ever did. He’s a college student now and has had the same close guy fiends since ES. I know the families very well.

I was super strict with my oldest and would be only allow infrequent sleepovers with families we knew well and fully admit if there was anything sketchy about any of the families (think older siblings, single parent, live in relatives or too many unknown details) then it was a hard no.

What is sketchy about single parents?

This OP and does the single parent have a partner? Will that partner sleep over? Will the parent be present? Creates more unknowns and a different dynamic.

You have an unhealthy obsession with the sex life of single parents.

[Anonymous]

OP is either a troll or needs mental help.

[Anonymous]

Is it true that the anti sleepovers crowd is overrepresented by conservative, traditional, socially and sexually repressive cultures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is either a troll or needs mental help.

I vote for ‘needs mental help’.