Significant weight loss, refusal to see a doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

That's great.

How tall is he? What type of infection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

An infection? Wouldn’t he have a fever? Or be in pain? Sounds odd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

What was the infection and how did he end up at a doctor's office? Hopefully he can get back to a healthy weight. It will likely take months.

[Anonymous]

116 pounds? Is he 5’2? Because if not that’s almost skeletal. I’m sorry OP. Please get your finances and accounts and documents in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:116 pounds? Is he 5’2? Because if not that’s almost skeletal. I’m sorry OP. Please get your finances and accounts and documents in order.

Yeah. Infections are more likely when you have cancer. He is dangerously skinny.

I have a 5’6” freshmen that weighs that (growing teen athlete) and he hasn’t gone through puberty —skin and bones. I can’t imagine a middle aged man unless he was on his death bed weighing 116.

My dad lost a ton of weight with terminal cancer and was painfully thin at the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

That's great.

No. It’s not. It sounds like he did not get a thorough medical exam.

[Anonymous]

My puppy weighs 116

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating and losing weight and losing ability to eat certain foods could also be Crohn's or IBD-which are very treatable!

I know what you are saying, but suspect you either aren't in IBD world or you were blessed with an easy to treat form. Yes, treatable for many, but as a parent of a kid with an IBD I can tell you no walk in the park and the treatments can be an ordeal. I think you are being misleading making it sound like if he just gets scopes and a biopsies and finds out he has an IBD, there is an easy treatment and life goes back to normal. Some need other procedures beyond scopes to diagnosis. Then if you do have it, it's not like for many you just pop a pill once and life is better. It can take a while to find the right treatment and there are risks with the ones that tend to be the best. Most non-IBD people or people with easy cases don't understand how complicated it can be and what it is to deal with infusions not working, surgeries, etc.

That said, if he ignores an IBD for too long he could end up with things like needing a large part of his colon removed, not being able to poop the traditional way.

I have a 25-yr IBD diagnosis (have lived longer with it now than I did before it), my disease was poorly controlled (there was a lot less to control it with then), and I have had the surgeries you’re talking about. I would take that experience over death by pancreatic cancer in a heartbeat. PPs are not wrong to be suggesting that an IBD diagnosis would be a relatively positive outcome for OP’s husband.

He is out of the age range for an IBD dx and in the range for pancreatic cancer—so it’s not wildly likely, and in that sense it would also be a happy surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating and losing weight and losing ability to eat certain foods could also be Crohn's or IBD-which are very treatable!

I know what you are saying, but suspect you either aren't in IBD world or you were blessed with an easy to treat form. Yes, treatable for many, but as a parent of a kid with an IBD I can tell you no walk in the park and the treatments can be an ordeal. I think you are being misleading making it sound like if he just gets scopes and a biopsies and finds out he has an IBD, there is an easy treatment and life goes back to normal. Some need other procedures beyond scopes to diagnosis. Then if you do have it, it's not like for many you just pop a pill once and life is better. It can take a while to find the right treatment and there are risks with the ones that tend to be the best. Most non-IBD people or people with easy cases don't understand how complicated it can be and what it is to deal with infusions not working, surgeries, etc.

That said, if he ignores an IBD for too long he could end up with things like needing a large part of his colon removed, not being able to poop the traditional way.

I have a 25-yr IBD diagnosis (have lived longer with it now than I did before it), my disease was poorly controlled (there was a lot less to control it with then), and I have had the surgeries you’re talking about. I would take that experience over death by pancreatic cancer in a heartbeat. PPs are not wrong to be suggesting that an IBD diagnosis would be a relatively positive outcome for OP’s husband.

He is out of the age range for an IBD dx and in the range for pancreatic cancer—so it’s not wildly likely, and in that sense it would also be a happy surprise.

One of the most common times for an IBD to be diagnosed besides adolescence/young adulthood is middle age. It's on the rise. So he is not out of the age range at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eating and losing weight and losing ability to eat certain foods could also be Crohn's or IBD-which are very treatable!

I know what you are saying, but suspect you either aren't in IBD world or you were blessed with an easy to treat form. Yes, treatable for many, but as a parent of a kid with an IBD I can tell you no walk in the park and the treatments can be an ordeal. I think you are being misleading making it sound like if he just gets scopes and a biopsies and finds out he has an IBD, there is an easy treatment and life goes back to normal. Some need other procedures beyond scopes to diagnosis. Then if you do have it, it's not like for many you just pop a pill once and life is better. It can take a while to find the right treatment and there are risks with the ones that tend to be the best. Most non-IBD people or people with easy cases don't understand how complicated it can be and what it is to deal with infusions not working, surgeries, etc.

That said, if he ignores an IBD for too long he could end up with things like needing a large part of his colon removed, not being able to poop the traditional way.

I have a 25-yr IBD diagnosis (have lived longer with it now than I did before it), my disease was poorly controlled (there was a lot less to control it with then), and I have had the surgeries you’re talking about. I would take that experience over death by pancreatic cancer in a heartbeat. PPs are not wrong to be suggesting that an IBD diagnosis would be a relatively positive outcome for OP’s husband.

He is out of the age range for an IBD dx and in the range for pancreatic cancer—so it’s not wildly likely, and in that sense it would also be a happy surprise.

One of the most common times for an IBD to be diagnosed besides adolescence/young adulthood is middle age. It's on the rise. So he is not out of the age range at all.

You’re off here. There is quite a bit of data, from across developed nations, suggesting that the traditional bimodal distribution is lessening because the 5th-6th decade onsets are down. (That peak was always lower than in 15-25 yos.)

The point is that in the search for the cause of a new onset something at this man’s age, pancreatic cancer has to be ruled out in a way that it really doesn’t in a 15-25 yo, and an IBD diagnosis would be a good outcome compared to pancreatic CA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:116 pounds? Is he 5’2? Because if not that’s almost skeletal. I’m sorry OP. Please get your finances and accounts and documents in order.

He’s shrunk down to 5’5”. It was a UTI. And yes, he’s practically a skeleton. Antibiotics didn’t knock it out, and so we went back and they gave him another prescription. Brought up the weight loss, they said oh you’ve only lost 2 lbs bc he’s now down to 114. I was like, what?! They didn’t make any big deal of it maybe bc he was there for the UTI. WTF.

[Anonymous]

It's good that he went back and you went with him. If that happens again, I think it's worth being very clear with them about what he used to weigh, if the weight loss has been unintentional, and that you are worried that he has cancer or an eating disorder. They can't talk to you without your husband's permission but they also can't keep you from talking. Honestly at this point a best case scenario is that he's admitted to the hospital so you have more of a chance to talk to providers. Before that, if you can find life insurance without underwriting, I'd suggest taking out a policy on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:116 pounds? Is he 5’2? Because if not that’s almost skeletal. I’m sorry OP. Please get your finances and accounts and documents in order.

He’s shrunk down to 5’5”. It was a UTI. And yes, he’s practically a skeleton. Antibiotics didn’t knock it out, and so we went back and they gave him another prescription. Brought up the weight loss, they said oh you’ve only lost 2 lbs bc he’s now down to 114. I was like, what?! They didn’t make any big deal of it maybe bc he was there for the UTI. WTF.

My mom died of pancreatic cancer 30 days after diagnosis. Before that, she had weight loss and UTIs. She did not disclose her other symptoms (she must've had symptoms at that point) to anyone. We all saw the weight loss, which wasn't as much as your dh. She also had a distended stomach, which she attributed to "menopausal bloating".
I am surprised your dh isn't getting further tests or imaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will he go if you make the appointment and go with him?

Tried that and all I got was screaming.

Can you make an appointment for yourself and ask him to accompany you for moral support? You could ask questions about your husband while he’s a captive audience.

If you were really sneaky you could make back to back appointments for the two of you and ask your doctor to play along.

[Anonymous]

So per my earlier email. Slow progress. More after I have more details to share. -OP