Significant weight loss, refusal to see a doctor

[Anonymous]

At least those are not life-threatening conditions, OP. It could’ve been a lot worse. Hopefully he’ll be compliant now.

Possibly yes, but they can also be markers of uncontrolled diabetes (as pps have mentioned though I would imagine if he’s had multiple urine tests they would have tested but it’s worth confirming): an advanced /serious inflammatory bowel disease ; colorectal cancer or something else. Whatever it is I feel for OP and empathize with her frustration, esp if this is something that could have been controlled all this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick update. Can’t write more because I’m so frustrated and filled with “I told you to go for at least 2 years” thoughts and resentments. DH had a CT scan yesterday. Doc called back saying there were concerning results — likely either a colorectal fistula or abscess — and to see a colorectal surgeon ASAP.

Progress. good job OP. If you ask here for recs, there have been many over the years for colorectal surgical groups (my own surgeon moved out of the area). It's not a fun process but just must be done.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I hope things are okay or at least moving forward in terms of getting some medical care....and I hope you are taking care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yes, thinking of you, OP, and sending support.

[Anonymous]

I've been thinking about OP as well and wondering how their family is doing. Lots of us out here wishing you well, OP.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for checking in everyone. We are waiting for doctors to agree on a surgery date. In theory after a cystoscopy tomorrow, the medical pros will have enough info to decide who should or shouldn’t be at a yet to be scheduled surgery. We have gone from you need to come immediately to the office to deal with an abscess to likely bowel resection for one of several possible reasons. Colorectal surgeon says the bladder is likely involved and wants the urologist at least on call. Urologist says they don’t participate or standby for this type of procedure. So we’ve been walking in circles. The urologist finally conceded to at least seeing what the cysto and latest CT shows. Surgeon tried setting up surgery for next week but a urologist may not be available for at least a month — assuming they will even acquiesce and come at all.

[Anonymous]

Good luck today OP, I hope you get doctors to come together on a treatment plan. How is your spouse handling all this (for someone who hates going to the doctor this must be difficult and scary). How are *you* doing? Your kids? My thoughts with you all, hoping for good outcomes and that you have some support yourself.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, keep us updated

[Anonymous]

Quick update: urologist ruled out bladder cancer after cysto. Thank goodness the doc went through with the procedure even though DH still has an infection, because the infection is going to remain until his system is repaired. DH has been on antibiotics of various sorts since October. His gut is clearly “leaking” somewhere in the lower intestines/upper colon region between the bladder. The docs are still trying to work out their schedules.

As for me, I’m just trying to keep things as stable as possible. I’m resentful of several people who failed to take responsibility for certain things that were foreseeable. Despite my multiple attempts to help them avoid these issues over the past 20+ years, they are upset with me for not helping put out the fires they created. They include DH, a parent and another elderly relative. There are teen issues going on too. Thank goodness I have a few hobbies, otherwise I would completely lose it. I think the thing that has helped the most is having had a challenging childhood, which taught me to persevere. It has come with some costs, but each time I get through things I come out stronger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick update: urologist ruled out bladder cancer after cysto. Thank goodness the doc went through with the procedure even though DH still has an infection, because the infection is going to remain until his system is repaired. DH has been on antibiotics of various sorts since October. His gut is clearly “leaking” somewhere in the lower intestines/upper colon region between the bladder. The docs are still trying to work out their schedules.

As for me, I’m just trying to keep things as stable as possible. I’m resentful of several people who failed to take responsibility for certain things that were foreseeable. Despite my multiple attempts to help them avoid these issues over the past 20+ years, they are upset with me for not helping put out the fires they created. They include DH, a parent and another elderly relative. There are teen issues going on too. Thank goodness I have a few hobbies, otherwise I would completely lose it. I think the thing that has helped the most is having had a challenging childhood, which taught me to persevere. It has come with some costs, but each time I get through things I come out stronger.

Thank you for the update. You are a tough person who can handle all of this. When things settle down, you will set everyone straight. Good for you continuing your hobbies and self care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick update: urologist ruled out bladder cancer after cysto. Thank goodness the doc went through with the procedure even though DH still has an infection, because the infection is going to remain until his system is repaired. DH has been on antibiotics of various sorts since October. His gut is clearly “leaking” somewhere in the lower intestines/upper colon region between the bladder. The docs are still trying to work out their schedules.

As for me, I’m just trying to keep things as stable as possible. I’m resentful of several people who failed to take responsibility for certain things that were foreseeable. Despite my multiple attempts to help them avoid these issues over the past 20+ years, they are upset with me for not helping put out the fires they created. They include DH, a parent and another elderly relative. There are teen issues going on too. Thank goodness I have a few hobbies, otherwise I would completely lose it. I think the thing that has helped the most is having had a challenging childhood, which taught me to persevere. It has come with some costs, but each time I get through things I come out stronger.

Sending you strength. And also recognizing that ruling out bladder cancer is good news.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hate that you are blamed. Know that it is not your fault. I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn't. Take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to test his blood sugar. Immediately.

Type 1 can strike anyone at any age. Weight loss despite constant eating is a telltale sign. As blood sugar rises (bc glucose can’t enter to the cells without insulin), people grow irritable. Sometimes weird rages set in. The disease is unrelated to weight, diet, exercise, and most have no family history. UTIs are common. So are abscesses.

I’m not saying it is diabetes. But if it is, and he is at the extreme weight loss stage, he is in real danger until he gets insulin.

Blood sugar was already tested. Not even close to pre-diabetic. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, to close this thread in short. Not cancer, not Crohn's. Rare silent ruptured appendix that created fistula between colon and bladder. SMH. This could have been dealt with years ago and not exacerbated interpersonal and other issues.

I have followed this thread and I am glad that you updated and finally have your answer. I'm sure it's been hell for both of you. I hope he's got some physical relief and that your family is moving forward.