Significant weight loss, refusal to see a doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So initial appt with urologist yesterday. Told him to stop antibiotics so they can get a clean urine sample and ordered a CT scan. Obviously no diagnosis yet but some mentions of “if it’s kidney stones …”. So more waiting but at least there is some movement toward medical intervention.

Thank you for updating - glad he’s being treated by a specialist.

[Anonymous]

If he is bedridden and yelling in pain, call an ambulance. The ER can get him more tests faster than anywhere else, and they will probably knock him out with drugs and you can talk to the doctor or nurse while he's asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad something is happening. Did you or he bring up the precipitous weight loss? Can they also order blood work and an abdominal ultrasound so at the next appointment the doctor can discuss all the results at once?

I suspect he said nothing about the weight loss. I was in the waiting room this time. Grrrr. I’m sure the docs think nothing about his weight. He’s barely at the ok range for BMI but … he’s gaunt, his abs are concave, you can see his bones, etc. He does not look healthy. He’s satisfied with the fact he’s stabilized his weight Though I’m not so sure, and even if that’s true, he’s eating more and not adding weight.

All I know is from him. The doc did not diagnose anything but made a couple general references to kidney stones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will he go if you make the appointment and go with him?

Tried that and all I got was screaming.

Can you tell him the kids are concerned? Might that motivate him to overcome his fear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad something is happening. Did you or he bring up the precipitous weight loss? Can they also order blood work and an abdominal ultrasound so at the next appointment the doctor can discuss all the results at once?

I suspect he said nothing about the weight loss. I was in the waiting room this time. Grrrr. I’m sure the docs think nothing about his weight. He’s barely at the ok range for BMI but … he’s gaunt, his abs are concave, you can see his bones, etc. He does not look healthy. He’s satisfied with the fact he’s stabilized his weight Though I’m not so sure, and even if that’s true, he’s eating more and not adding weight.



All I know is from him. The doc did not diagnose anything but made a couple general references to kidney stones.

Did he not let you go in with him? In any event, the Ct scan should be informative.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP, this sounds incredibly frustrating. My son had kidney stones and it was massive amounts of pain for a relatively short period of time until they passed. And no weight loss. I wish you had been able to go in with you DH so you could also talk to the doctor. And is the urologist even the correct doctor to be engaging at this point?

[Anonymous]

I imagine if it were cancer he wouldn’t still be chugging along in this same state (since first post several months ago). I’m guessing diabetes. What really upsets me on your behalf, OP is his screaming. At this point I would not interact with him at all; his behavior sounds insufferable. Drop the rope and focus on yourself and your teen.

[Anonymous]

Quick update. Can’t write more because I’m so frustrated and filled with “I told you to go for at least 2 years” thoughts and resentments. DH had a CT scan yesterday. Doc called back saying there were concerning results — likely either a colorectal fistula or abscess — and to see a colorectal surgeon ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for updating, OP. This situation reminds me so much of my father’s. He was raised in a Christian Scientist household, and although he wasn’t one himself as an adult, he was extremely reluctant to deal with anything medical, particularly something with embarrassing effects.

He did have colorectal cancer, but he survived that. Good wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick update. Can’t write more because I’m so frustrated and filled with “I told you to go for at least 2 years” thoughts and resentments. DH had a CT scan yesterday. Doc called back saying there were concerning results — likely either a colorectal fistula or abscess — and to see a colorectal surgeon ASAP.

Do you trust him to make the appointment?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. I hope he pursues treatment.

[Anonymous]

At least those are not life-threatening conditions, OP. It could’ve been a lot worse. Hopefully he’ll be compliant now.

[Anonymous]

He needs to test his blood sugar. Immediately.

Type 1 can strike anyone at any age. Weight loss despite constant eating is a telltale sign. As blood sugar rises (bc glucose can’t enter to the cells without insulin), people grow irritable. Sometimes weird rages set in. The disease is unrelated to weight, diet, exercise, and most have no family history. UTIs are common. So are abscesses.

I’m not saying it is diabetes. But if it is, and he is at the extreme weight loss stage, he is in real danger until he gets insulin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to test his blood sugar. Immediately.

Type 1 can strike anyone at any age. Weight loss despite constant eating is a telltale sign. As blood sugar rises (bc glucose can’t enter to the cells without insulin), people grow irritable. Sometimes weird rages set in. The disease is unrelated to weight, diet, exercise, and most have no family history. UTIs are common. So are abscesses.

I’m not saying it is diabetes. But if it is, and he is at the extreme weight loss stage, he is in real danger until he gets insulin.

PP. Following up to say:

- maybe someone has already tested his blood sugar recently, in which case, great, you can cross that off the list.

- just in case, I have a kid who was diagnosed with type 1 utterly out of the blue. Much of what you describe — extreme weight loss, eating, uti, screaming — is exactly what we saw in the days before her undiagnosed t1d became a crisis.

- we learned the hard way that there is a window in which things get dangerous, which is why I sound nervous. (But the good news is, the crisis resolves relatively quickly with treatment!)

- whatever is going on with him healthwise, know that it could be affecting his ability to think clearly, and respond appropriately.

- fwiw, you can buy blood sugar testing supplies at any pharmacy and it will cost you no more maybe $30. One pinprick, and you’ll have the results in seconds. If it comes back normal, great. No harm done.

- whatever it is, this is hard, and I’m so sorry, and I hope you get answers soon.

[Anonymous]

Op I’m sorry to hear this. At least it’s some forward motion. Please explore the possibility of crohns. It’s sometimes a diagnosis of exclusion but your spouse has a lot of symptoms. I hope you can also take care of yourself.