Significant weight loss, refusal to see a doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, you have contacted his priest, told his parents, enlisted the help of friends who work in healthcare, had your children beg him and you have begged him to get checked out. None of this has moved him.

Time to take care of yourself. Update your will, life insurance, POA, etc, and get your ducks in a row if the worst happens. Sounds like you have done everything you can and that your partner is so stuck in his health anxiety that he cannot be helped by you. Maybe you say that to him. "I have done everything I can to urge you to seek help that you need, but at this point, that's all I can do. It's up to you to deal with this. You need help that I can't give. At least help me update these things so that if you die, the kids and I are ok."

And then try to be at peace and be with your kids.

Thanks, that’s pretty much the path I’m taking.

I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell his parents. (What would you want your future SIL/DIL to do?) Do you have any friends who are doctors? Is there any kind of service where a doctor can come to the house? Or can you send info to his PCP, if DH has a good relationship with them, and see what they say?

He does not have a PCP and he hasn’t seen a doctor since he broke his ankle 10years ago.

He sees a chiropractor and I’m thinking I may rope her in. I cannot believe she has not said anything to him.

Well, I should add that the chiropractor is not exactly on the same page as MDs.

You should talk to the chiropractor. A good medical professional of any kind knows unexplained weight loss is a classic sign of cancer. That may not be what is going on but it's something that needs to be checked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he won’t see a doctor could you at least talk him into getting some blood labs done? You can schedule them yourself through LabCorp or a website like personal labs . com and just go in on your own, no doctor visit needed. I have a lot of health issues that need monitoring and prefer to order my own labs every 3 months and then keep my doctors up to date as needed. Get a general men’s health work up and see if anything is off.

This is a good idea. CVS Minute clinic is another option, usually just a nurse. If he's afraid of a colonoscopy, now they have Cologuard which can detect cancer just by submitting a sample from home through the mail. Also I would try to downplay it. Stress can make people lose their appetite. He might just have a food allergy. There are probably ways to test that as well. Can he eat yogurt? Maybe his gut bacteria is messed up. Walnuts are also supposed to be good for the gut, blood sugar, and mood and it only takes a handful. If he's having mental issues, there are apps that are just robots so it's totally confidential but they use CBT so are better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will he go if you make the appointment and go with him?

Tried that and all I got was screaming.

Scream back.

Your husband is literally wasting away in front of you. That is not your fault, but you are in denial. And you have likely been living with the situation so long that you are too close to it to see and absorb the truth.

How is OP in denial or unable to absorb the truth? If that was the case, she wouldn’t be concerned and posting here for help.

[Anonymous]

See if you can get a visiting nurse to come to your house and evaluate him, even if she just looks at him and convinces him to go for testing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See if you can get a visiting nurse to come to your house and evaluate him, even if she just looks at him and convinces him to go for testing.

There are visiting doctors too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See if you can get a visiting nurse to come to your house and evaluate him, even if she just looks at him and convinces him to go for testing.

There are visiting doctors too.

Still need consent to treat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See if you can get a visiting nurse to come to your house and evaluate him, even if she just looks at him and convinces him to go for testing.

There are visiting doctors too.

Still need consent to treat

This is the crux of the matter. — OP (yes, still dealing with the issue here)

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I think it’s best for everyone to leave him alone. Some people have a death wish and we need to respect that.
Or he may live another decade who knows.
Get your ducks in a row as much as possible, that’s all you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would buy life insurance immediately just in case.

You can order lab tests online and get the results sent to you by email. The online company has doctors who order the tests so you never have to see or speak to a doctor. Beg your husband to get a blood test. They even have companies that will go to your house to take the blood. The online labs,l personal labs I think is one, have different package deals like men’s wellness panel.

He may not qualify for life insurance. At his age there would typically be a visit, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP, my heart goes out to you and your kids. It must be so difficult.

[Anonymous]

What a selfish jerk, OP. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’d definitely get your ducks in a row (access to all the financial accounts, passwords, POA, will, advanced directive) in order. Prepare for life without him. If he’s not going to be an adult and take an active role in his health there’s not much more you can do.

Maybe show him this thread. The situation sounds dire.

[Anonymous]

Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

Wow. 116 lbs for a man is scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he had an infection. He weighs 116lbs. Doctor said nothing. Gave him an antibiotic and he came home.

That's great.