Do you care what other parents look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what other parents look like, but more because I don’t try very hard to be friends with them. I’m a fat mom with a big job. I don’t hang with the SAHMs that do Pilates and play tennis, because I have nothing in common with them. They talk about their jewelry making business and vacations. They make cookies with each team members name in icing. I have no interest in this at all. They are all fit and pretty, but I can’t stand being with them for any period of time.

My kids play sports and I tend to hang with the dads. My job is more in line with theirs and I know more than most moms about sports.

Yiiikes this is so cringey. Big “NoT LiKe OtHeR gIrLs” energy 😬

Textbook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what other parents look like, but more because I don’t try very hard to be friends with them. I’m a fat mom with a big job. I don’t hang with the SAHMs that do Pilates and play tennis, because I have nothing in common with them. They talk about their jewelry making business and vacations. They make cookies with each team members name in icing. I have no interest in this at all. They are all fit and pretty, but I can’t stand being with them for any period of time.

My kids play sports and I tend to hang with the dads. My job is more in line with theirs and I know more than most moms about sports.

Yiiikes this is so cringey. Big “NoT LiKe OtHeR gIrLs” energy 😬

Not really. I’m a thin mom with no job and those women scare me too.

Except " big job" mom is not admitting they scare her. She is talking big and trying to sound tough in oder to hide her insecurities and ignorance. Big " small penis" energy. It's a good thing she hangs out with the guys. She is one of them.

I used to have a big job. DH has a bigger job. I ended up staying home. I have friends who are killing it in the corporate world, are SAHMs and everything in between. I am not crafty. I hate cooking. I appreciate the moms who do this well. They are a mix of both working and stay at homes. I throw good parties and host lots of play dates.

I’m not sure that being overweight and having a big career are related at all. There are the super moms who have big jobs and they are often very well put together, more put together than the athleisure moms I hang out with.

[Anonymous]

This thread

Thank goodness my kids are past elementary. I have no idea what any of the parents look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what other parents look like, but more because I don’t try very hard to be friends with them. I’m a fat mom with a big job. I don’t hang with the SAHMs that do Pilates and play tennis, because I have nothing in common with them. They talk about their jewelry making business and vacations. They make cookies with each team members name in icing. I have no interest in this at all. They are all fit and pretty, but I can’t stand being with them for any period of time.

My kids play sports and I tend to hang with the dads. My job is more in line with theirs and I know more than most moms about sports.

Yiiikes this is so cringey. Big “NoT LiKe OtHeR gIrLs” energy 😬

Not really. I’m a thin mom with no job and those women scare me too.

Except " big job" mom is not admitting they scare her. She is talking big and trying to sound tough in oder to hide her insecurities and ignorance. Big " small penis" energy. It's a good thing she hangs out with the guys. She is one of them.

I used to have a big job. DH has a bigger job. I ended up staying home. I have friends who are killing it in the corporate world, are SAHMs and everything in between. I am not crafty. I hate cooking. I appreciate the moms who do this well. They are a mix of both working and stay at homes. I throw good parties and host lots of play dates.

I’m not sure that being overweight and having a big career are related at all. There are the super moms who have big jobs and they are often very well put together, more put together than the athleisure moms I hang out with.

+1.

There are female law firm partners who are very much into cooking and pilates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread

Thank goodness my kids are past elementary. I have no idea what any of the parents look like.

That's not going to help OP.

She will still be stuck with a stupid DH if she doesn't shut him down.

Her friends, her business. He needs to mind his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread

Thank goodness my kids are past elementary. I have no idea what any of the parents look like.

That's not going to help OP.

She will still be stuck with a stupid DH if she doesn't shut him down.

Her friends, her business. He needs to mind his.

OP’s DH has done OP a service by opening her eyes. She seems to want to shut them tight again. Maybe she’ll be able to. But he obviously touched a nerve - with her and lots of posters on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread

Thank goodness my kids are past elementary. I have no idea what any of the parents look like.

That's not going to help OP.

She will still be stuck with a stupid DH if she doesn't shut him down.

Her friends, her business. He needs to mind his.

OP’s DH has done OP a service by opening her eyes. She seems to want to shut them tight again. Maybe she’ll be able to. But he obviously touched a nerve - with her and lots of posters on this thread.

That's what you will say today because you agree with the message.

Tomorrow, you will be whining about how abusive your DH is on the relationship forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread

Thank goodness my kids are past elementary. I have no idea what any of the parents look like.

That's not going to help OP.

She will still be stuck with a stupid DH if she doesn't shut him down.

Her friends, her business. He needs to mind his.

OP’s DH has done OP a service by opening her eyes. She seems to want to shut them tight again. Maybe she’ll be able to. But he obviously touched a nerve - with[/b] her and lots of posters on this thread. [b]

+1

NP. Amazing!

[Anonymous]

Reality is majority of people gravitate to those like them, whether that is looks, interest, economic status, etc…

People who are fit, pretty, and put together of course are drawn to others like them. Implicit bias or intentional.

And yes the good looking people in this world get better treatment, more respect, and noticed more in life, work, etc.

That’s life and if you don’t think so, you are in denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are parents who always have their hair done, make up on, and never wear ill fitting clothes.

And then there are parents that never do.

I've always thought it has more to do with this than pretty vs not pretty.

+1

[Anonymous]

As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Implicit or not, all the “popular” moms at my elementary school are fit and pretty. I’m normally a size 12/14. I lost 25 pounds a few years ago and the cool moms started inviting me places and then I gained the weight back and the invites stopped. I don’t know if it’s something they even realize they do - and I don’t care because it was enough to tell me they aren’t the kind of people I want to be friends with.

My friend group includes all sizes and shapes - and levels of fashionability. It’s a group of women who make me laugh and / or share my hobbies.

Who are the popular moms? And how do you define them?

Visible.

- NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in sports.

There just aren’t a lot of fat parents.

In fact, I think my husband is the biggest guy out of all the dads. He definitely notices. I can’t imagine it’s any easier for the overweight moms.

That’s ridiculous. There are overweight mothers and fathers and their children play sports and gymnastics and dance.

With these kind of statements boxing everyone in their rightful place I can only imagine the racist stereotypes you all hold but keep to yourselves

My mom was pushing 400 lbs when my brother signed with a D1 school. PP is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to avoid pretty parents who are pretty in that particular manicured way that means they work hard at it. A combination of assuming they won’t want to talk to me and lingering middle school life lessons. If they go out of their way to talk to me, I’ll definitely still be friendly but I’m more likely to strike up a conversation with an un-made-up, slightly schlubby looking mom on the playground.

I love that you brought up middle school trauma. I have the same history, extending into HS. For me, I know I have an implicit bias against well groomed, good looking women in that I assume they won’t like me or be interested in being friends with me. And 98% of the time I’m right, but every once in awhile a pretty, fashionable woman will continue seeking me out, and I’m always a bit guarded and skeptical.

But yes it’s clear that pretty, looks-oriented women are *typically* only interested in being friends with women like them. And honest, they probably have more shallow interests in common, like discussing their purse brands and which Botox doctor they use.

I dunno - I love Botox and people of all shapes and sizes. I only discuss Botox with interested parties though. Feels like. a lot of people on this thread are filtering out for looks, but a lot of filtering out for good looks.

I'm obese and love my Botox. But I'd rather talk about my STEM career.

[Anonymous]

I'm not skinny and not "polished". I have the RHOBH type friends. We went to a birthday dinner once and the first 20 minutes of the convo was about Botox, how much they love it, who they use, when they get it.... I just sat there drinking my wine until we moved on to stuff that was more interesting to me. They are nice enough people for basic friends. But my dear friends don't bother with that kind of nonsense.