Do you care what other parents look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, correction: You are NOT actively excluding women like me from your group, you just DON'T SEE US.

That's the implicit bias that your husband is talking about.

This. I have been thin and I have been fat. I am way more popular with other women when I am thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Implicit or not, all the “popular” moms at my elementary school are fit and pretty. I’m normally a size 12/14. I lost 25 pounds a few years ago and the cool moms started inviting me places and then I gained the weight back and the invites stopped. I don’t know if it’s something they even realize they do - and I don’t care because it was enough to tell me they aren’t the kind of people I want to be friends with.

My friend group includes all sizes and shapes - and levels of fashionability. It’s a group of women who make me laugh and / or share my hobbies.

Who are the popular moms? And how do you define them?

The popular moms are people like my neighbor who people (some joking, some not) call “the mayor”. She always has 50+ unread texts from her Many group chats. She’s nice to me, but I’m not in the crew she invites out for drinks and that’s fine. However if I walk to a school event with her or she is talking to me, later other moms will mention “I didn’t know you know Larla” in a weird junior high “are you my ticket in?” way. Cool neighbor and her crew post group photos to IG of 10+ nearly identical looking women doing shots on a Wednesday night. They are VERY involved with the PTA and Facebook/ IG friends with all the teachers. Being involved in the school is not a bad thing, but it’s annoying when other people can’t volunteer because they assign all the roles to their friends before they send out to the Signup Genius link except for the token “bring napkins” and “clean up crew” jobs.

I don’t know if they are popular in that all the other moms want to be them or be friends with them - but they give off a very sorority girl / party girl vibe like a stereotypical “popular girl” from a movie. I would not think about them very much except that I live nextdoor to one, we have kids in the same grades, and sometimes I get a pity invite to her “mom wine night” gatherings in her yard.

[Anonymous]

This is the most depressing thread in a long time. And for DCUM that’s saying a LOT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

Why is the type of school relevant?

If you don't know rich moms are skinnier, prettier, and better dressed, I don't know what to tell you.

Lots of rich families are in public school. Ever hear of Langley? McLean? Oakton? Yorktown?

Intentionally obtuse isn't a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

Why is the type of school relevant?

If you don't know rich moms are skinnier, prettier, and better dressed, I don't know what to tell you.

Yep, lots more of those in private

Much more important to be rich. You can be fat, just don’t be anything less than rich.

At my school the rich moms are top of the heap whether fat or not. I'm thin and poor and I get a lot of compliments from them about being cute but they don't invite me into their clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

Why is the type of school relevant?

If you don't know rich moms are skinnier, prettier, and better dressed, I don't know what to tell you.

Yep, lots more of those in private

Much more important to be rich. You can be fat, just don’t be anything less than rich.

At my school the rich moms are top of the heap whether fat or not. I'm thin and poor and I get a lot of compliments from them about being cute but they don't invite me into their clique.

You’re not missing anything, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Implicit or not, all the “popular” moms at my elementary school are fit and pretty. I’m normally a size 12/14. I lost 25 pounds a few years ago and the cool moms started inviting me places and then I gained the weight back and the invites stopped. I don’t know if it’s something they even realize they do - and I don’t care because it was enough to tell me they aren’t the kind of people I want to be friends with.

My friend group includes all sizes and shapes - and levels of fashionability. It’s a group of women who make me laugh and / or share my hobbies.

Who are the popular moms? And how do you define them?

The popular moms are people like my neighbor who people (some joking, some not) call “the mayor”. She always has 50+ unread texts from her Many group chats. She’s nice to me, but I’m not in the crew she invites out for drinks and that’s fine. However if I walk to a school event with her or she is talking to me, later other moms will mention “I didn’t know you know Larla” in a weird junior high “are you my ticket in?” way. Cool neighbor and her crew post group photos to IG of 10+ nearly identical looking women doing shots on a Wednesday night. They are VERY involved with the PTA and Facebook/ IG friends with all the teachers. Being involved in the school is not a bad thing, but it’s annoying when other people can’t volunteer because they assign all the roles to their friends before they send out to the Signup Genius link except for the token “bring napkins” and “clean up crew” jobs.

I don’t know if they are popular in that all the other moms want to be them or be friends with them - but they give off a very sorority girl / party girl vibe like a stereotypical “popular girl” from a movie. I would not think about them very much except that I live nextdoor to one, we have kids in the same grades, and sometimes I get a pity invite to her “mom wine night” gatherings in her yard.

So when they don't invite you, they are "cliquely", and when they do, it is out of pity.

You are a nutjob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being obese is a sign of a mental health problem; be it (food)addiction, depression, anxiety, something else. Something is not right. That isn’t to say thin and pretty people don’t have these struggles- they just aren’t obvious by appearance. That itself is a barrier to friendship

Now all fat people are crazy. Never change DCUM

Go to the relationship forum and tell them that fat people are just greedy, lazy or anti- establishment.

They will come up with more illnesses than PP just listed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

Why is the type of school relevant?

If you don't know rich moms are skinnier, prettier, and better dressed, I don't know what to tell you.

Yep, lots more of those in private

Much more important to be rich. You can be fat, just don’t be anything less than rich.

At my school the rich moms are top of the heap whether fat or not. I'm thin and poor and I get a lot of compliments from them about being cute but they don't invite me into their clique.

OP here. I thought about it since I posted. I guess I don’t actively seek out fat or ugly women to be friends with. I am naturally thin and we are rich. I absolutely don’t exclude anyone based on looks. I am very friendly with moms of all different backgrounds.

I am active in my PTA. When we first came to the school, I thought everyone was super fit and blonde and cliquey. The PTA changes every year. The president is once again skinny and blonde but she is so nice and I am friends with her and now part of the group I once thought was cliquey. It isn’t like we hang out. We just do school stuff together. Our kids are in different grades. The same parents are the ones who do pta, scouts and sports. We overlap.

[Anonymous]

Op here. The pta president is skinny and blonde. The Girl Scouts troop leader is skinny and blonde. Dance moms are the same. So are the tennis moms. If it matters, I am not blonde.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Implicit or not, all the “popular” moms at my elementary school are fit and pretty. I’m normally a size 12/14. I lost 25 pounds a few years ago and the cool moms started inviting me places and then I gained the weight back and the invites stopped. I don’t know if it’s something they even realize they do - and I don’t care because it was enough to tell me they aren’t the kind of people I want to be friends with.

My friend group includes all sizes and shapes - and levels of fashionability. It’s a group of women who make me laugh and / or share my hobbies.

Who are the popular moms? And how do you define them?

The popular moms are people like my neighbor who people (some joking, some not) call “the mayor”. She always has 50+ unread texts from her Many group chats. She’s nice to me, but I’m not in the crew she invites out for drinks and that’s fine. However if I walk to a school event with her or she is talking to me, later other moms will mention “I didn’t know you know Larla” in a weird junior high “are you my ticket in?” way. Cool neighbor and her crew post group photos to IG of 10+ nearly identical looking women doing shots on a Wednesday night. They are VERY involved with the PTA and Facebook/ IG friends with all the teachers. Being involved in the school is not a bad thing, but it’s annoying when other people can’t volunteer because they assign all the roles to their friends before they send out to the Signup Genius link except for the token “bring napkins” and “clean up crew” jobs.

I don’t know if they are popular in that all the other moms want to be them or be friends with them - but they give off a very sorority girl / party girl vibe like a stereotypical “popular girl” from a movie. I would not think about them very much except that I live nextdoor to one, we have kids in the same grades, and sometimes I get a pity invite to her “mom wine night” gatherings in her yard.

Moms who do “wine nights” and act like sorority girls just sound so sad. No matter how much Botox they get, they still look like middle aged women, not stereotypical “popular girls.” Why do older women insist on trying to look like and behaving like girls into their 40s?

[Anonymous]

op is trolly trollinda mctrollface. first get a husband. then have kids then troll a parenting forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a fat mom whose kids are at private school, we're aware why you don't hang out with us.

Why is the type of school relevant?

If you don't know rich moms are skinnier, prettier, and better dressed, I don't know what to tell you.

Yep, lots more of those in private

Much more important to be rich. You can be fat, just don’t be anything less than rich.

At my school the rich moms are top of the heap whether fat or not. I'm thin and poor and I get a lot of compliments from them about being cute but they don't invite me into their clique.

+1 it's your $$$$ not your commitment to anorexia.

we are rich and try to hide it nowadays because we dont like that crowd. btdt with so much drama and fake butt kissing. other rich people are exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what other parents look like, but more because I don’t try very hard to be friends with them. I’m a fat mom with a big job. I don’t hang with the SAHMs that do Pilates and play tennis, because I have nothing in common with them. They talk about their jewelry making business and vacations. They make cookies with each team members name in icing. I have no interest in this at all. They are all fit and pretty, but I can’t stand being with them for any period of time.

My kids play sports and I tend to hang with the dads. My job is more in line with theirs and I know more than most moms about sports.

Yiiikes this is so cringey. Big “NoT LiKe OtHeR gIrLs” energy 😬

Not really. I’m a thin mom with no job and those women scare me too.

Except " big job" mom is not admitting they scare her. She is talking big and trying to sound tough in oder to hide her insecurities and ignorance. Big " small penis" energy. It's a good thing she hangs out with the guys. She is one of them.

I used to have a big job. DH has a bigger job. I ended up staying home. I have friends who are killing it in the corporate world, are SAHMs and everything in between. I am not crafty. I hate cooking. I appreciate the moms who do this well. They are a mix of both working and stay at homes. I throw good parties and host lots of play dates.

I’m not sure that being overweight and having a big career are related at all. There are the super moms who have big jobs and they are often very well put together, more put together than the athleisure moms I hang out with.

+1.

There are female law firm partners who are very much into cooking and pilates.

This. I'm an AUSA and I put a lot of effort into my appearance.

I'm also a mediocre cook at best, my house is always messy, and I'm not crafty. I'm terrible at planning parties and kid events. I also don't care what my mom friends look like or whether they work or SAH. Anyone who is kind and has a good sense of humor is welcome in my circle. Life is too short to judge people by their shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The pta president is skinny and blonde. The Girl Scouts troop leader is skinny and blonde. Dance moms are the same. So are the tennis moms. If it matters, I am not blonde.

Lots of obese dance and gymnastics moms- sort of like pageant moms. More so than any other sport IMO