Do you care what other parents look like?

[Anonymous]

I was shocked today when DH told me that I only hang out with good looking moms. I hang out with friends of some moms of my kids’s friends or other women I have befriended over the years. DH said all my friends are fit and pretty and I don’t hang out with fat people. It was such an odd and insulting thing to say and I felt offended. He said it was implicit bias and I was thinking that is some BS he learned in some sort of work training.

Do you care what other parents look like?

[Anonymous]

No, I don't. My friends encompass a wide range of looks.

[Anonymous]

Mom friends? No I love them all. I don’t ever feel super close to mom friends because I feel like there’s always this wall up. I don’t want to pick a fight with a mom and then it means that my dd gets less play dates or a birthday invite. I try to be very friendly and non offensive.

[Anonymous]

Nope- my friends are all shape and sizes. Variety of backgrounds and religions as well. Maybe your husband is right … do you only “collect” these friendships at certain places for example the gym, your kids school…?

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t believe your DH said this. You sound shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t believe your DH said this. You sound shallow.

He absolutely did say this and I was offended that it seemed like he was saying I was shallow. Then he said everyone does this and consciously or subconsciously is drawn to more physically attractive people.

The conversation started because we went to a party and I saw a mom I have known for years. We have many friends in common but we were never friends. DH said I probably don’t like her because she is ugly. I thought Dh was shallow and offended he thought that way of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t believe your DH said this. You sound shallow.

He absolutely did say this and I was offended that it seemed like he was saying I was shallow. Then he said everyone does this and consciously or subconsciously is drawn to more physically attractive people.

The conversation started because we went to a party and I saw a mom I have known for years. We have many friends in common but we were never friends. DH said I probably don’t like her because she is ugly. I thought Dh was shallow and offended he thought that way of me.

You're upset because you realize he is correct. I know people like you.

-fat mom

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t care what other moms look like.

Your husband commenting on your friends’ appearances seems a little off. Does he cheat?

[Anonymous]

You are actively excluding women like me from your group, but rather that you DON'T SEE US.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, correction: You are NOT actively excluding women like me from your group, you just DON'T SEE US.

That's the implicit bias that your husband is talking about.

[Anonymous]

I started a thread here years ago asking if women here ignore/leave out/don't want to be friends with fat women, and because it's an anonymous forum, about half of you said that yes, you absolutely don't want to be friends with the fat mom because you just don't have anything in common with her and have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Since when did fat = ugly? Many of the moms in my circle are overweight but definitely not ugly.

I think this is a troll post.

[Anonymous]

I have one friend who is obese. All my other friends have normal bodies. A couple are very pretty. All my friends say I am always the prettiest and have all said so multiple times.

All my moms friends are slim though I am not sure they are all beautiful. My obese friend is an old friend from grad school. I love her and she is one of the few people I can really be myself with. She was not always this big and multiple health issues have brought about a large weight gain. I don’t think she cares at all that I am pretty and fit.

[Anonymous]

All of my friends are attractive not sure if it’s on purpose. We were drawn to each other. I don’t engage mom friends enough to care. Conversation is usually very surface level. Play nice for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one friend who is obese. All my other friends have normal bodies. A couple are very pretty. [b]All my friends say I am always the prettiest and have all said so multiple times.

All my moms friends are slim though I am not sure they are all beautiful. My obese friend is an old friend from grad school. I love her and she is one of the few people I can really be myself with. She was not always this big and multiple health issues have brought about a large weight gain. I don’t think she cares at all that I am pretty and fit.

Okay then....