My niece just screwed herself
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Anonymous
Sure, she’s got $1000 to soothe the pain and that stamp she didn’t have to use. |
Anonymous
Another WHOOSH for you! Literally no one is saying it is totally fine for niece to not say thank you. Everyone agrees that the niece is wrong. But the aunt’s bitter freakout is petty, graceless and tacky. And that’s worse than the niece forgetting to thank her. |
Anonymous
And something much better, but I suspect you can't see past the money. |
Anonymous
The aunt isn't bitter or freaking out. She's just disappointed or maybe disgusted with her niece even though she still loves her. The so-called freak out consists of her deciding not to give her any more gifts. You are overreacting because you are relating more to the niece's mistake than the aunt's justified complaint. Posting her reaction on DCUM isn't any more than a minor vent. It might be petty, graceless and tacky if she was broadcasting to her whole extended family so they would side with her but I bet she's not doing that because she decided to vent on DCUM instead. Like lots of people do when they don't want to complain in real life to people they care about. I imagine that many people on DCUM are more experienced with forgetting to say thank you than they are with giving a nice gift and not getting a thank you. That's why they are defending the niece and insulting the aunt. |
Anonymous
No. The niece should say "thank you," unquestionably. It's ungrateful and unkind not to. But there are a thousand reasons why this might have happened, and not all of them have anything to do with poor intent or deliberate slight on her part. However, there is a palpable satisfaction to the first post of this thread, and even moreso the title. She "just screwed herself" -- there's a glee there. It's ugly. There is no interpretation that doesn't make the sentiment ugly. That is what you are hearing. |
Anonymous
| Give when you want to and don't expect anything in return, including a thank you. Saying your niece "screwed herself" says a lot about you... not her. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like you just screwed yourself OP. You never know who you may need help from in the future. Cutting |
Anonymous
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I did not receive a thank you for shower gift (drove 8 hours to attend)from my niece . I then gave her $1500 for her wedding a year ago, and
have heard literally nothing. I am not particularly close to her but it does sting a bit. I have moved on but I imagine I may be less generous going forward (birthdays, babies, new house etc.). Not sure why writing 3-4 sentences is such a big deal. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s reasonable to assume that not sending a thank you indicates that the recipient didn't want whatever you sent but didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying so. The kind and tactful thing to do is not to send any more gifts. |
Anonymous
NP. I was on my honeymoon two days after my wedding, and I was married in 2019. My cousin just got married in June and was on her honeymoon two days later. My coworker just went on her honeymoon a few days after she got married. What are you talking about? |
Anonymous
Oh, OP, this isn’t what “a little disappointed” looks like. Hint: a “little disappointed” does look like screeching to total strangers on the Internet, saying a young woman you allegedly love “screwed herself” out of favor with you, and how you are done.” It is adorable to watch you backpedal, but just so you know “a little disappointed” is an internal feeling, a shrug, and an internal vow to move on in the same moment the disapointment came. You need therapy if you think that what you have done so far is be “a little disappointed.” |
Anonymous
Etiquette says a year I thought. |
Anonymous
Yes, such strange responses here. People are, of course expected to send a thank you note after a wedding gift! And I would be especially miffed after one so generous ($1000!!!). Shows a 'lack of breeding', as the used to say. |
Anonymous
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1) Niece and/or her spouse absolutely should have written a thank you note, or at the very least, called to thank OP.
2) Literally not one person has said that it’s OK not to acknowledge a gift. Stop trying to make that part of your “argument,” because you are making that up and inserting that so you have something to make your argument stronger. Because: 3) What most of us are actually saying, is that when someone fails to properly acknowledge a gift—even though that is hurtful—the mature, polite, and kind thing to do is…move past it. The snub, though hurtful, does not warrant an unhinged post about anyone “screwing themselves” on the Internet, and it certainly doesn’t warrant OP cutting ties with her niece. That’s the point. Argue with that. Make the case that a faux pas on the part of the niece merits being cut off and gossiped about by the aunt. Make THAT case. |
Anonymous
They used to say a lot of things they know better than to say anymore. |