Wedding offenses: rank according to badness

[Anonymous]

p.s. If dry is cultural, or if there is an addiction issue, I am 100% OK with that.

[Anonymous]

DH and I got married fairly fresh out of college and didn't do +1 for college/high school friends because we knew there'd be at least a table full of people they would also be friends with. I don't think we had any other single invitees. Our wedding budget was tiny and it's what we could afford (no parental help).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I have the ultimate: a 6 AM wedding on a weekday. The groom is Hindu and the family astrologer insisted the wedding be at this day and time. The bride was my close relative.
The ceremony was followed by a 10 am buffet, which was delicious but I couldn't really enjoy the food because I'm never hungry that early.
Have been invited to many dry, cash-only weddings of Muslim coworkers. I generally don't go because they all far outearn me (doctor vs nurse) and I'm on too tight of a budget to give a generous cash gift to someone I'm not close with.

But was the early wedding dry? Or cash bar?

There was champagne for toasting. The hour was the offender to me, not the alcohol. But if I'm going to a wedding of a non-friend or relative I would like to get pleasantly buzzed.

[Anonymous]

No-kids weddings - fine as long as you let everyone know well in advance and you anticipate a higher than average level of declines from people who don’t want to travel without their kids.

No +1 weddings - absolutely no, if a person is in a relationship they need to be able to bring their s/o and it’s polite to give the option for a date to single guests as well.

Destination weddings - fine, again, as long as you don’t pout and get mad about people who decline because they don’t want to travel to your destination.

Dry weddings - if you absolutely must at least have it during the morning/day so my whole afternoon and evening isn’t taken up by your dry wedding. But it really just makes you look cheap. Even if there is a religious or health or cultural reason for it, it still comes across as cheap to have a totally dry wedding.

No open bar weddings - seems about the same as dry weddings, kind of cheap but can be ok for something like a brunch/day time wedding when you provide wine at the tables.

Weddings of couples who ask for cash - kind of tacky but meh, everyone is tacky these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Gimme a break. You think that every single person should have a plus one in order to avoid the so-called "awkwardness" of one or two people having to ask ask a good friend to bring their significant other to the wedding? That's absurd.

[Anonymous]

Having the wedding during dinner time but no food or very little food particularly if it is at an inconvenient place where you bussed everyone there and they can't easily leave to get dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Well, that's also a little unfair to the bride and groom. Things change quickly so you may go from having a date to the wedding to not having a date to the wedding, and the hosts don't want to pay for (nor have optics of) empty table settings. In no other circumstance would you expect a friend to shell out $100 a plate to feed someone you may barely know, and if you're 24, chances are the couple is on a tight budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Gimme a break. You think that every single person should have a plus one in order to avoid the so-called "awkwardness" of one or two people having to ask ask a good friend to bring their significant other to the wedding? That's absurd.

Meh, have the size wedding you can afford. If you can't do a +1 for your friends, you're inviting too many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Well, that's also a little unfair to the bride and groom. Things change quickly so you may go from having a date to the wedding to not having a date to the wedding, and the hosts don't want to pay for (nor have optics of) empty table settings. In no other circumstance would you expect a friend to shell out $100 a plate to feed someone you may barely know, and if you're 24, chances are the couple is on a tight budget.

Asking your friend to leave their s/o behind because of your "tight budget" is rude. And what kind of significant other do you barely know? That would be an insignificant other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I got married fairly fresh out of college and didn't do +1 for college/high school friends because we knew there'd be at least a table full of people they would also be friends with. I don't think we had any other single invitees. Our wedding budget was tiny and it's what we could afford (no parental help).

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1

That is great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

Gimme a break. You think that every single person should have a plus one in order to avoid the so-called "awkwardness" of one or two people having to ask ask a good friend to bring their significant other to the wedding? That's absurd.

Meh, have the size wedding you can afford. If you can't do a +1 for your friends, you're inviting too many people.

DP here. You are being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)


6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!

We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.

I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.

+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.

But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.

+1

Plenty of pics of the ex girl and boyfriends! Nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dry weddings - unless couple is recovering alcoholic

Destination weddings - an excuse to make everyone else foot the real cost of the wedding. Elope if you want but destination weddings are selfish.

Weddings of couples who ask for cash - if you need to ask them it’s not the “norm” in your family.

No-kids weddings - not a concern

No +1 weddings - not a concern

No open bar weddings - fine as long as there is still wine/beer.

+1

MYOB as a guest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.

No-kids weddings
No +1 weddings
Destination weddings
Dry weddings
No open bar weddings
Weddings of couples who ask for cash

1. wouldn't fly in my family but I get why people do it
2. tacky
3. fine. Everyone has friends and family all over now, unless you live and die in a small town.
4. fine if that's your culture
5. NO WAY (-WASP)
6. tacky but whatever

WASPs have the booziest weddings.